Nozomi Yagami's Wonderful Life of Doom
by Awesome Galaxy
Summary: In which Light is replaced with a female, hilarious version of himself. In which she becomes Kira, and kills people, and falls in love with her greatest enemy. In which L has nooo idea what he signed up for when he started this case... -L x OC-
1. Nozomi's Sucky Life

Nozomi Yagami's Wonderful Life of Doom

1

As a child, then soon a teenager, then to a young adult, my life sucked. I had only three friends, no boys liked me, and I wasn't very pretty. I was boring. My life was boring. Everything around me was boring. So you can probably understand why I was bored enough to pick up that strange notebook that was entitled "Death Note."

Now, I know as you listen to this tale, you're thinking "OMG! IT'S LIGHT SLASH KIRA!" But, no. I'm a female and my name is Nozomi. Alright, now you're thinking "but if you found the Death Note, and Light doesn't exist, then how do you know about the real 'Death Note'?" First off, this IS the real 'Death Note'. And second of all, Light exists in another dimension. It's the same as this, but he finds the Death Note rather than me. That's the only difference….Plus a few more. I'll tell you how I know that later on. Alright, back to the story…

How was I supposed to know that the Death Note was a killing machine? That it would turn me into an evil and somewhat crazy murderer? It was terrible. Especially the people I was supposed to help find Kira (me). They were nerve wrecking…Except the adorably quirky leader….

Crap! Getting ahead of myself here. Alright, from the beginning. It was a beautiful day in Japan when I suddenly noticed a notebook lying in the grass….

"The Death Note, huh?" I mumbled to myself, picking up the small black book. "The hell kind of joke is this? 'The person's name whose name is written in this note shall die?' What a load of crap…" I dropped it and began walking away. I was barely at the front of my school when I turned around.

It was easy sneaking it home. The only people who ever talked to me were Sakurenbo, Keiko and Minami anyway. And it's not like they were going to rummage around in my backpack. And getting it home was easier. My younger sister doesn't really care much, and my mom knows it would piss the hell out of me if she went through my backpack.

The first thing I did when I got home was, in order

1: Make sure the Death Note was still in my bag.

2:Be sure my mom or sister didn't see it.

3: Go to the kitchen to eat a piece of cake…(alright, two)

4) Go up to my room.

5) Kill a criminal on TV (though I didn't intend to)

"Oh God…" I mumbled when I realized the man had died. "If…if this thing is real, then…" I turned to stare at the Death Note. "…I have to try it out again. Just to be sure."

"Nozomi!" my mother called. "You better get to cram school!"

"I KNOW! DEAR GOD, MOTHER!" I stuffed the Death Note in my bag before heading off to school.

"Hey! Nozomi!" Minami called and jumped down beside me.

"Wanna skip school and get a couple beers?" Sakurenbo asked.

I shook my head. "Sorry. My dad will kick my ass if he finds out I skipped school to get a beer again."

"Well, that sucks," Sakurenbo sighed in her deep Osakan accent.

"We can never go out for a drink without someone getting into trouble," Keiko said.

For my whole life, I only had three friends. Kokoro Minami was a hyperactive weirdo who was rather clumsy, but still cute. Minami was sort of shy, but she could easily kick the ass of anyone who pissed her off. She could never get a boyfriend who she really liked and would always beat herself up about that. Because of that, she observes every man she meets fairly closely. And nearly half of them end up being "the one" for her, when in reality they don't last a week. Minami had wavy blond hair that went down mid-back. It had a bit of a spring, but not really. She usually made her bangs cover her eyes, because she thought her eyes were weird. One was blue, the other green. She didn't really think it was possible for her to get a guy. (She ends up with one of the DN characters later on, but I'm not saying who! XD Aren't I evil?)

Next was Rizuka Sakurenbo (Saku-chan) . She was from Osaka and had a deep accent to prove it. She was sort of spacey and ditzy and didn't really do much aside from sitting there with her relaxed day dream expression. But she was smart when she wanted to be. Sakurenbo, surprisingly, was the only one of our quartet to have a boyfriend. She had shoulder length brown hair with Hamtaro hair clips. Her purple eyes were large and pretty. She was sort of the weird one and would always make strange comments at random moments.

My third friend was Tanizaki Keiko. Keiko was quiet and always emotionless. I hadn't seen her smile since we were twelve. She reminded me of Yuki Nagato. Keiko was very beautiful and got asked out a lot, but after a while, she just figured men to be a waste of time. But she was rather scary when mad, though you could never tell she was angry. Her expression stayed dull and uncaring 24/7. Keiko had, surprising, strawberry-blond hair that was draped around her shoulders. But everything else about her was black as hell. She always wore a black skirt with chains on it, a black blouse with crosses drawn all over it, black combat books, and black and red striped stockings. And her make-up? She always put on enough eyeliner to make her look like a raccoon. But, either way, she was nice. To us, anyway. Believe it or not, she actually had _fanboys_, who would do nothing short of stalk her. She was cruel and mean to them.

But then there was me. I was the more average girl in my quartet of friends. I had black hair that was tied into a two limp ponytails that were tied in the back and ran down my back with Hello Panda hair ties. My clothes were normal, just the regular blouse and jeans. I often wore my reading glasses wherever I went, because they made me look smarter. Not that I needed them. I was at the top of my class. And I was short for my age. Like, _really_ short. Like, 5'3 or something. And, like I said before, I was super smart, but I acted super dumb sometimes too. I had this obsession with male porn and anime. It was physically impossible for me to get a boyfriend, so I used the men in magazines and anime. What? It isn't weird!

"So, Saku-chan, how's it going with Eiichiro?"

She grinned. "Oh, fantastic! He kissed me last night! For the first time!"

I smiled with her. "That's great, Saku-chan!"

"I wish some guy would kiss me," Minami sighed. "Dammit, I need a boyfriend!"

"Oh, and…" her voice became nervous and she gulped. "He…he wants to know if I…want to sleep with him."

My eyes grew wide. Not because I was surprised that Sakurenbo's easy-going boyfriend would want to sleep with her. Because no guy had ever asked me to do it was why I was shocked. I was eighteen years old and still a virgin. Sakurenbo? Oh, she lost her virginity before we even entered high school. Though it was still a sensitive topic for her. But I digress.

"Wow…" I mumbled. "What did you say?"

Saku-chan sighed before looking away. It took me a moment to realize that she was crying.

"Hey…Sakurenbo…" Minami mumbled before we all started hugging her. Is this what happened when there was someone who actually loved you? Crying all the time? I glanced up at the sky as Saku-chan buried her face in my abnormally flat chest (another reason why not many boys liked me). I was willing to sacrifice it. I didn't even care if I became depressed after getting a boyfriend who really loved me. At least I would love him and he would love me and we would be happy forever and ever.

But I was talking about me. And no one will ever love me.

Cram school that night was exceedingly boring. While everyone else was studying, I was thinking about what I would do with the Death Note. 'What if it is real?' I thought. 'What if the next person's name I wrote down next would end up really killing someone? Well, just in case, it has to be someone who deserves it…'

"Hey, buddy, Ryo."

"What is it, Sudoh?"

I shot a glance at Sudoh and his friends who were surrounding Ryo, one of my many play toys (egging his house, calling him 'pussy', what have you).

"Weren't you going to own me twenty dollars?"

"What? But I can't do that…"

'Sudoh…' I thought sourly. 'Maybe I should try killing him…No. I shouldn't kill people I know. But then again…does it really matter? I mean, would anyone really care if a guy like that was to just disappear?'

As I walked home that night, I began thinking more and more about the notebook. 'Man, all this crime now…It makes you wonder if you'd actually be doing society a favor by getting rid of all these people.' I went into a tiny store to get the latest male porno, Cheetos, a grape Fanta and an orange Fanta. I didn't care much for the orange Fanta, but it tasted very good when mixed with grape. I also grabbed some cupcakes. God, I love cupcakes. I loved all sweets. It was a real wonder how I hadn't gotten diabetes by now.

"Hey, pretty lady."

I glanced up from the porno and saw three men outside the window, circling a girl about my age.

"You wanna come hang with us?"

"Yeah, Tako can spot hot girls a mile away!"

"Please, I don't want any trouble," the girl begged.

"Aww, she doesn't want trouble." The leader and ugliest took off his sunglasses. "Hey. I'm Tako Shubimaru. Sure you don't want to come?"

"I mean it, no!" the girl retorted.

"Fine; let's strip her now!" the men began removing her clothes.

"No! Help me!"

It was then that I pulled out the Death Note. Once the name was written, the girl managed to run away across the street. Tako followed her on his motorcycle.

And was hit by a truck.

"Hey! Tako! Are you alright!?"

'Sweet merciful crap…' I thought to myself. I rushed away from the window. I ran to the door in a panicky way, when I realized I still had my Cheetos and such. I threw them on the counter and quietly paid for them. Once I was done, I proceeded to run out of the store gasping.

"I…I killed them!" I panted to myself when I arrived in a dark alley. "I killed two men! I'm a murderer!" Then I stopped and thought for a moment. Maybe this wasn't such a bad thing. Maybe…just maybe…

Perfect.

Those next few days, I killed none stop. From robbers to murderers, every criminal announced on the TV and radio. I was on a freaking death spree. Now I know why Gaara from that one anime always enjoyed killing: it was fun! You know, when you're killing the bad guys. But sometimes, just for funsies, I would kill off bad role models and comedians that mocked other people's race and stuff like that. Brittany Spears was first. ( XD) But, seriously, this felt awesome. First of all, I was, like, some new world God or something! Second of all…well, that was sort of all. Oh, yeah, and I'd be helping people too, I guess…

All was going well.

But then one day, after about a week of using the Death Note, I came home, just as usual.

"What a nice surprise. You're home early," My mother said, after greeting me at the door.

"Uh, yeah, I…" I noticed she had her hands out, as if expecting me to give her something. Sighing, I took the results of the Nation Wide Exams out of my backpack and game them to her.

"Oh, look! Number one again! You're doing so good, Nozomi!" she said while I began trudging up the stairs.

"Thanks, mom." That's the only bad thing about being a genius; you're parents never stop going on and on about how smart you are.

"Nozomi!" my mother called. "You know, if you want anything, dear, you can just ask."

"GOD, I KNOW THAT, MOTHER!" I yelled. "GOSH!" Once I was in my room with the door locked, I smirked to myself. "I've already got what I want." I yanked open my drawer and pulled out the Death Note, looking at the dozens of names I had already written. All the criminals I had already killed.

And I laughed.

"You've taken quite a liking to it."

I was shocked by the voice. I snapped my head around to see a big, shadowy figure. When the thunder and lighting struck, I saw it was a monster with blue hair and big wings who looked vaguely like a clown. I _hated_ clowns. "OMG WTF!!!" I screamed, falling out of my chair.

"There's no reason to be surprised," it said.

"Uh, yeah! I just found a freaking CLOWN in my room, you BASTARD!" I cried. "Did Minami set this up? Am I on Scare Tactics or something?"

It ignored my questions. "I am the shinigami Ryuk. That there is my Death Note."

"How did Minami know I have a Death Note?"

"Look, you're friend didn't set this up, okay kid?"

Quivering, I slowly stood up, holding onto my chair for support. "A shinigami? The god of death. Well I'm not surprised."

Ryuk raised an eyebrow. I noticed he had crossed eyes. "You weren't surprised? Then why the hell did you think I was a clown?"

"Oh, screw you!" I cried. "But…in fact, Ryuk… I've been expecting you."

"Yes, because _all_ humans scream when they see someone they're expecting."

I decided to ignore him. "I've already figured out the Death Note is real. It didn't take me very long. And now that I've witnessed the proof of it's power…I only feel more confident in what I want to do."

"That's interesting," Ryuk said. "I certainly wasn't expecting this. Especially from a girl who's so _blond_."

"What? I'm not blond!"

"Really? I thought humans considered black hair to be called 'blond.' But, anyway, several Death Notes have made their way into the human world, but you're the first to have written this many names. Look at how many people you've killed in only five days."

I flashed him a half smile. "I've already prepared myself, Ryuk. I used the notebook, knowing it belonged to a shinigami. And not that shinigami has come. So, aren't you going to take my soul?"

"What're you taking about? Is that some retarded human legend? No. I'm not going to do anything to you."

"Oh, _awesome_!" I cried.

"The notebook becomes a part of the human world the minute it touched the earth. So this Death Note belongs to you now."

I felt my eyes grow wide. "It…it's mine?"

"If you don't want it, just give it to someone else. But then I'd have no choice but to erase your memories of me and the Death Note," Ryuk said.

No matter how much I wanted to get the mentally scarring imagine of Ryuk's freakish monster-ness out of my head, I ignored that comment. "Wait, so you're telling me I can use the Death Note all I want and I won't be punished? Hells yeah!"

"Not exactly," the shinigami said to me. "Let's just say you will feel the pain and fear only humans who use the Death Note will feel. And when it's your time to die, I will write your name in my Death Note. Be warned…whoever writes even a single name in the Death Note can neither go to Heaven nor Hell for all eternity."

"So I'll be a ghost?"

"No, you won't be a ghost!" he snapped. "You'll just turn to nothingness."

I was about to say screw it with the Death Note, when my mom suddenly knocked on the door. "Nozomi?" she called.

"Aww, frick!" I gasped. "Quick, hide under my bed!"

Ryuk kept his expression the same, though I knew he was thinking I was an idiot. "I'm a god of death, not your delinquent boyfriend who's run away from home. It'll be fine. She can't see me."

I shoved the Death Note under my bed and went to answer the door. "What is it, mom?"

"I thought you might like some apples," she said. "The neighbor's brought them over." She looked past me. "Why is it so dark in here? You'll ruin you're eyesight, Nozomi."

"Yeah, yeah, thanks mom," I said, taking the apples and closing the door. "Why the hell couldn't she see you?" I demanded of Ryuk.

"See what, Nozomi?" my mom called.

"GOD, not YOU, mother! GOSH!" I averted my attention back to Ryuk, who was chugging down the apples like it was his last meal ever. "Hey! Those are mine, you bastard!"

"Human world apples are…how would you say?…Juicy?"

"Uh…_yeah_…" I said nervously. "So, uh, why couldn't she see you?" Ryuk was about to answer me when I suddenly thought of a much better question. "Wait, why did you choose me, Ryuk?"

The shinigami suddenly laughed. "_Chose_ you? Don't flatter yourself. Did you honestly think I chose to give the Death Note to you because you're so smart or something? I just happened to drop it around here. You just happened to pick it up. You're not _that_ special."

I stuck my tongue out at him. "Well, then why'd you drop it in the first place? It makes no sense, really."

"You're telling me about making sense? You're the one who thought a god of death was a clown."

"Would you get over that?" I shouted.

"Get over what, Nozomi?"

"GOD, MOM! DOD YOU FRIGGING MIND?! I'M _TRYING_ TO HAVE A CONVERSATION UP HERE!!!" I screamed at the top of my lungs before turning back to Ryuk. "You were saying? Why you dropped the notebook?"

"I was bored." I merely stared at Ryuk with a shocked expression. "Believe it or not, the job of a shinigami is pretty much boring. We usually spend the whole day napping or gambling. And it wouldn't make sense to write a human's name in our Death Notes, seeing as we live in a whole other realm. And whenever you do write a name in the notebook, they just laugh at you for working so hard. I wanted a little bit of excitement."

I smirked to myself. "Really? Well, let me tell you, Ryuk…" I looked up at the shinigami. I could feel my eyes piercing red. "I've been bored, too."

He snapped his head up to look at me. "Really, now?"

"Yup," I said in the happy-go-lucky tone I knew was completely irrelevant to this particular topic. "And I'll admit, the Death Note has given me some bad dreams. I've hardly slept in the past five days. I've lost ten pounds! Well, that's not exactly a bad thing, but I digress. I'm on a mission, Ryuk. I've already done away with the world's most hard-earned criminals. All the information I need is right here in my room. Twenty-four hour news network, plus the internet. But everyone knows the internet will betray us one day…" I grinned. "Once I do away with all the most horrible criminals, I'll kill those who the world could just live without."

"But then that would only make you the world's last criminal."

I looked up at Ryuk, my smile staying in place. "What're you talking about, Ryuk? By getting rid of all the horrible people in the world, I will be _justice. _I will create a new world where only people I accept will live. And…I will be the god of this new world!"

"Ooh. Shooting for the stars, are we?"

"Shut up! This is a dramatic moment!"


	2. Nozomi Gets Cocky

_A/N: Thank you for reading 'Nozomi Yagami's Wonderous Life od Doom'! I'm having fun writing this and I hope you're having fun reading it! This is my first fic here, so sorry if I suck. T_T please read and review!  
_

_Death Note belongs to its' creator_

_Nozomi and her friends belong to me._

Nozomi Yagami's Wonderous Life of Doom

Chapter 2

Nozomi Gets Cocky

2

"Yagami, would you please translate this for us?…Miss Yagami?"

"God, I heard you the first time," I groaned, standing up and turning to the correct page of my text book. " 'Having finally made his dream a reality, he was overwhelmed. Both by the magnitude of his achievements and by the joy and happiness that it brought him.'"

"Very good," the teacher said. "But I'm not surprised. Absolutely wonderful…"

"Yes, yes, I'm a genius, we all realize that," I mumbled.

"Well, class is over for today."

My classmates groaned in happiness as Ryuk looked at me from the window where he was perched. "Damn, how can you stand doing this everyday? This school stuff sucks. Nozomi? Hey, Nozomi?" Ryuk continued to talk to me as I left the classroom. Then as I met up with my friends. And even as I went outside. "Nozomi? Hey. Hey, Nozomi. Nozomi. Nozomi, are you listening? Nozomi. Noz_ooooo_mi. No-"

"GOD! DON'T TALK TO ME!" I snapped at my shinigami friend.

"Talk to you? 'Bout what, Nozomi?"

"_NOT_ YOU, SAKURENBO!"

Once I had bid my farewells to my friends on the way home from school, I glared up at Ryuk. "You freaking idiot!" I snapped, kicking him in the shin. Then I remembered that shinigami couldn't feel pain. Damn. "Unlike you, people can still hear me when I talk, so I'd be awesome if you wouldn't talk to me until we're alone, got it?"

"Geez, human females are so snippy…" he sighed. "So, what? Are you just going to go lock yourself in your room all day and do nothing again?"

"What? But I _am_ doing something, Ryuk…"

On my way home, I decided to buy about five bags of apples.

"Hey, what're those for?" the shinigami asked.

"You. What else?"

"Frigging serious!?" Ryuk grabbed the bags and began devouring the apples. It looked so gruesome and sickening. I was thinking about making a video and putting it up on YouTube, but then I, once again, remembered that I was the only human on the planet who could see Ryuk. Double damn.

So we commenced walking to my house.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

"Wow, Nozomi. You're pretty damn dedicated."

I glanced to my side at Ryuk, who was munching on his tenth apple that day. "Yeah, I guess," I mumbled, turning back to the Death Note. "I'm trying to build a freaking utopia here. I have to use all my time in between school and sleep. But then I also have homework and meals. And I have to sleep, else I'll fall asleep in class, and I have to keep my agenda as top of the class."

"Why?" Ryuk asked.

"Cause I'm a self-centered bitch who can't stand to not be perfect," I said, grinning.

Suddenly, my doorknob wiggled. "Huh? Hey, Nozomi! You're door's locked."

"What do you want?" I called to my little sister.

"Can you help me with my homework?"

I rushed to the other side of the room and pressed my ear to the door. "Password?"

"Aww, come on!" Sayu whined. "You change the password every week! This isn't fair!"

"Password or I won't help you!"

"Fine. Um… tubesock?"

"Nope."

"Bajingo?"

"Nope."

"Sexaholic?"

"That was last week."

"Um…The Stick?"

"Brilliant!" I flung open my door. "Welcome to my dojo of porn and fruit flavored juices, young sister of mine."

"You're a [CENSOR] psychopath, aren't you?" Ryuk asked of me.

Yeah. I'm not too proud of the language in this story, so the curse words shall be replaces with [CENCOR]s. Besides, it makes it funnier.

I ignored the shinigami.

"We're doing quadratic equations," Sayu said, entering my room. "Sorry to bug you, but I'm, like, the only kid in my class who doesn't get it. Thanks for helping me."

"No problem," I shrugged. I brought my little sister down to my desk as she opened her text book.

"I'd be careful if I were you," Ryuk said, finishing off his apple.

"Whoever touches the Death Note will be able to see me too."

"YOU SICK SON OF A BITCH!" I screamed at Ryuk.

"Uh…what?" Sayu mumbled.

"Um…YOU!" I yelled. "Dear lord, Sayu, you're thirteen! Dumbass, you should know this crap by now!"

She blinked up at me. "Um…sorry?"

I sighed. "Never mind that. So what're you stuck on?"

"Um…well…all of it…"

In reality I began helping my little sister with her homework, but in Nozomi-chan's World, I was harpooning her in the eye. She was taking up all of my precious New World God time! And Sayu wasn't exactly the brightest light bulb in the tanning bed…

Ryuk snickered at my misery. Damn shinigami….

DNDNDNDNDNDN

"Hey, what're we doing in this dump?"

It had come to my attention that Ryuk asked too many questions. We were in an abandoned warehouse in the bad part of the city where all the clowns and pregnant men lived. I was hiding the Death Note within the building because, like Ryuk had said before, anyone who touched the notebook could see him. I didn't want to carry around something so dangerous. Up until that moment, I had told myself that if any member of my family ever saw the Death Note, I would say I was keeping the names of criminals in preparation of becoming a detective. I didn't want to admit it, but if something should go wrong, I might've ended up killing one of my own family.

I silently poured the liquid into the drawer, creating a fire. "Awesome!" I squealed, letting out the fire and picking up the desk drawer in my arms. "'Kay. Let's go home, Ryuk."

"Wait, what the hell did you just do?" He asked me as we began to walk down the streets of Tokyo. "Does this mean you've found a way to hide the Death Note?"

"Yep," I said. "But you'll have to wait until we get home for me to explain it."

AT HOME…..

"So how did you hide it?" Ryuk asked me for the seventy-fourth time in the past nine minutes.

"God, do you ever shut up?" I cried at the shinigami.

"Shut what up, Nozomi?"

"WRAAAAAUGH!!!" I cleared my throat and tried to calm down. "Sorry, mom," I called downstairs. I turned back to Ryuk. "I hid it right here in this drawer," I said, motioning to my top desk drawer."

"Really? Well it isn't hidden very _well. _The key's still in it!"

And the key to the drawer was, indeed, still in the keyhole. "Exactly," I said to Ryuk. "I intentionally left the key in the most noticeable place I could think of."

"…"

"I'm really starting to think you actually _want_ to go to jail."

Ignoring him, I pulled open the drawer to reveal a regular looking diary. "See? It's just a normal diary. Once people find it, that will probably satisfy their curiosity. But the real key…" I grabbed one of my pens. "Is this. Just a regular item you'd find on my regular desk in the regular room in my regular house."

"A little too specific, but continue."

"And all I need is this part," I said, taking out the tip that was connected to the little ink tube. I bent over to look under the open drawer. There was the tiny hole. I stuck the tip of the pen into the hole while continuing to explain to Ryuk. The fake bottom of the drawer suddenly began to rise.

"Ooh, wow. The diary would satisfy most people, so they wouldn't even think to look under there."

"But, wait! There's more!" I cried, giddy with how brilliant he was making me sound. "Even if someone does figure out that the bottom is fake, I've got the perfect plan of protecting the Death Note. You see…" And I began my exhilarating description of the amazing thing I had just created.

"….And if I'm ever questioned, I'll just say I was protecting the fake diary. After all, I _am_ a girl and it _is_ my diary."

"Wow. I never knew how much of a psychopath you were," Ryuk chuckled. "I've heard of humans finding Death Notes in the past and the biggest problem was finding a good place to hide it. But you, Nozomi, you're the first to have given it this much thought. Congratulations. You have no life whatsoever. But it's a pretty risky setup, but the look of it. If you even make one little mistake, you could burn yourself."

"Mistake? Please. Have you seen how freaking flawless I am?" Okay, I was only being cocky to dramatize the moment.

Heh heh…cocky…that's an awesome word…

_Next time on 'Nozomi Yagami's Wonderous Life of Doom', Nozomi and L have a bit of a confrantation…_


	3. Nozomi Gets a Stalker

_A/N: The third installment in 'Nozomi Yagami's Wonderous Life of Doom.' I recently realized that the first chapter says 'Nozomi Yagami's Wonder__**ful**__ Life of Doom.' I apologize for that, as I made a flook. _

_Death Note belongs to its' creators_

_Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu belongs to its creators_

_(And yes. You will see that Nozomi has an unnatural obsession with Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu. Also with porn. She reads lots of guy porn…)_

Nozomi Yagami's Wonderous Life of Doom

Chapter 3

Nozomi's Got a Stalker

**Kira, kill everyone.**

"OMFG! RYUK! CHECK THIS OUT!"

Ryuk peeked over my shoulder at the computer. "What's this?"

"Websites like this are popping up everywhere," I said giddily.

"The Legend of Kira?" he mumbled. "Sound pretty cool. Is this about you?"

I rolled my eyes. "No, it's about Morgan Freeman. YES, IT'S ABOUT ME!" I took a deep breath, my joy overcoming my anger. "It comes from the English word, 'killer.' Can't say I'm all too happy with the title, but whatever. The point is that the people of the world can already sense something happening. They know there's someone out there passing righteous judgment. That's the way humans are, Ryuk. Though it's unlikely, say students were asked this question in school; do bad people deserve to die? Most people would give politically correct answer, like 'it's wrong to kill people' or something pussy like that. But on the internet, they're free to cast their opinion. People who have good in their hearts will silently support me while the criminals will hide in the shadows, hiding from an unknown killer. This is how it should be, Ryuk. The world should always be like this."

Suddenly, the TV screen got all fuzzy.

"Oh, and right in the middle of Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu!" I complained.

**ADVISORY**

**A SPECIAL NEWS BROADCAST WILL SHOW IN PLACE OF THE REGULARLY SCHEDUALED PROGRAM**

Suddenly, the news came on. The announcer said "we interrupt this program to bring you a special news break. We bring you a live broadcast from the ICPO."

"Hey, what's this?" Ryuk asked.

Suddenly, a man came on to the screen. A man with long black hair and cruel eyes. "I am Lind L. Taylor. Otherwise knows as…L."

"OH, [CENCOR]!!!" I cried.

"Recently, various criminals and a certain Brittany Spears have been killed. I find this to be the most atrocious act of murder in history," he continued. "I will not rest until this person or persons are brought to justice. Kira, I will hunt you down, I will find you."

"He seems very confident," Ryuk said.

"_Aww, frick, frick, frickity frick_…" I mumbled under my breath. Then I suddenly saw the realization of the situation. "Wait, what do I have to worry? He can't get me as long as he can't find the Death Note. And that will be absolutely impossible! I figured something like this would happen…"

"Kira," Lind L. Taylor continued, "I can pretty much guess what you're motivation is as to why you want to do this. I'm here to tell you it's evil."

"Oh, [CENCOR] you, you stupid mother [CENCOR] son of a [CENCOR] bitch!" I screamed at the TV. "You think I'm evil, huh? I am justice! I protect those who fear evil! I will become the god of a new world that everyone desires! Those who oppose that god…they are the ones who are truly evil! NOW DIE, BITCH! DIE!!!" I whipped out my notebook to the next clean page. I grabbed my pen. I took a good long look at Lind L. Taylor.

And I wrote.

L-I-N-D L. T-A-Y-O-R

I looked back up at L, a smirk on my face. Now all I had to do was wait. Forty seconds…thirty seconds….twenty three seconds…sixteen seconds….just five more seconds….

4….3…2…1…

And he died.

"Hooray for justice!" I cried as the corpse of Lind L. Taylor was carried out of the shot. I sat back down in my chair, prepared to watch the conclusion of Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu, when suddenly…

L

I was about to start messing with my remote, when I heard a synthesized voice.

" I had to test this just in case, but I never thought it would actually happen!"

"Oh, crap…" I whispered.

"Kira… it seems you can kill people without having to be there in person. I wouldn't have believed it if I hadn't just witnessed it myself." The voice suddenly became slightly more menacing, sending a chill down my spine. "Listen to me, Kira. If you did indeed kill Lind L. Taylor, the man you just saw die on television, I should tell you, he was an inmate, whose execution was scheduled for today. That was not me."

"Well, ain't that a bitch?" I sighed.

"The police arrested him in absolute secrecy, so you would have not heard about him on television. It appears not even you have access to that kind of information."

Ryuk laughed. "Looks like he fooled you."

"Shut up," I hissed.

"But I'll assure you, L is real. I do exist. Now…try to kill me! What's wrong? Hurry up! Come on!"

"THAT BASTARD!" I screamed. "I'LL MAKE SURE HE ROTS IN THE FIRE PITS OF HELL!"

"What's wrong? Can't you do it?" L said. He was obviously done with that for the moment, because there was a short pause. "Well, Kira. It seems you can't kill me after all. So there are some people you can't kill. You've given me a useful hint. I'll return the favor. I'll tell you something that you might find interesting. Though this was announced as a world wide broadcast, this message is only showing in the Conto region of Japan."

"You're screwed, Nozomi," Ryuk cackled.

L continued to speak. "I planned to broadcast this message around the world until we found you, but it appears that won't be necessary. I now know where you are. The police passed off you're first killing as an unrelated incident, but it was an incident in Shinjuku. Out of all the crimes, his was the least serious, and only broadcasted within Japan. I used that to deduce this much. You are in Japan. You're first victim was little more than an experiment, which means you haven't been killing for very long. We decided to broadcast in Conto first because of it's large population and luckily we found you. I never expected things to go this well. It won't be long now before I am able to sentence you to death. Naturally, I am curious as to how you can kill a person without being present, but I can wait a little longer. You can answer all of my questions when I catch you. Let's meet again soon…Kira."

Suddenly, the large L disappeared from the screen and I was suddenly looking at Haruhi trying to put Mikuru in a bunny suit.

"…Really? That arrogant bastard is going to sentence me to death?" I chuckled. "Fine. I accept you're challenge, L. L…I will hunt you down wherever you're hiding and I will eliminate you! I am…JUSTICE!"

"What's justice, honey?"

"DEAR LORD, MOTHER!!!"

"Well, I'm making cookies! Want some?"

"…"

"What kind are they?" I called.

"You have to be the most retarded human in existence…" Ryuk laughed.

"Oh, bite me."

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

"Do you understand it _yet_?" I demanded of my little sister. I had spent the last two hours helping her with her homework and it was really starting to piss me off. I could tell she was about to give me as stupid answer, when the doorbell rang.

"Dad's home!" she cried and rushed out of my room.

"Hey! At least do the last problem by yourself!" I called after her.

"After dinner, okay!"

I sighed and followed her downstairs. "Hey, you seem pretty relaxed, helping your sister with her homework and all," Ryuk said to me. I shrugged, reaching the bottom step and greeting my father. It didn't last too long, though. It wasn't very long until we all sat down for dinner. Ryuk, as always, watched us eat. It was a little unnerving, so I shot regular death glares at him. But, then again, he's a shinigami. There wasn't much of a point in him being threatened by my glares.

"So, Nozomi, how are you're studies going?" my father asked.

"Okay, I guess…" I mumbled, poking my ootori with my chopsticks.

"Okay? She's at the top of her class again!" Sayu said. "My amazing big sister."

"My wonderful daughter," mom said.

"Yes, yes, we all know I'm a genius, could we just get over that?" I mumbled. "…Hey, dad, you look tired."

"Yeah…" dad muttered. "I can't say anything specific, but the case I'm working on is really difficult."

'_Of course_," I thought to myself. '_My case is supposed to be difficult…'_

Later that evening, in my room, Ryuk was asking me about my father. "You're dad's a police officer. That's why you're not worried?"

"Yep. That's right," I said, continuing to click on various buttons on my computer. "I can access his files from my own computer without leaving any traces at all. That way, I can find out what's going on with the investigation." I clicked on a few more icons. "Here we go…" I entered my father's password. It was kind of easy. The password was his birthday. _Ooh, I cracked the code. _Suddenly, the dozens of yellow folders appeared on the screen. "…Aww, frick! The police are starting to suspect a student of being Kira."

Of course, Ryuk only laughed. "That's pretty risky, Nozomi. You sure you want to keep this up?"

I suddenly put my coffee down. "Hmm…if the cause of death is written within forty seconds of the name, it will happen. If the cause of death isn't specified, the victim will die of a heart attack. After writing cause of death, details of the death should be written in at least six minutes and forty seconds. That was in the notebook, right, Ryuk?"

"Yeah. So what?"

"So, if I put the cause of death as 'cardiac arrest', I can follow with conditions surrounding the death. Or even the time of death." I smirked. "I'll be able to amuse you a little more, Ryuk."

"In a good way or psychotic way?"

"A little bit of both."

"Ooh."

The following day went rather smoothly. I walked to school. A robber died in his cell. I played volleyball. A rapist dropped dead during prison count. I ate lunch with Minami, Keiko and Sakurenbo while discussing the Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu we all missed part of. A child abuser died while eating his sushi. Everything was pretty damn sweet.

On my way home from school, Ryuk and I were talking, as usual. "I'll bet that L bastard is getting nervous by now," I snickered. "There's still fifty criminals in reserve. Just for times like this."

"Oh?" Ryuk said.

"Yep. And I've come up with some interesting and fun ways to kill people," I said. "Like, death by Care Bares or YouTube or something weird like that. But, aside from that, L should start suspecting that Kira has police information."

"But I don't get it," the shinigami said. "Isn't L finding out that you have police information a bad thing?"

"I'm only doing it to find L and destroy him," I said. "In human society, there are very few people who really trust each other. And it's the same with the police. The police and L most likely haven't trusted each other from the beginning. Would you trust someone whose name and face you didn't know? Now that L knows the police information has been leaked to me, he has no choice but to find the link between the police and I. Once he starts suspecting the police, it's only a matter of time before the cops get fed up with L. On the surface, L and the police will be working to catch me. But, in reality, L will be investigating the police. And the police will be investigating L! It's like a soap opera!" I took in a deep breath. "The one to seek out L will not be me, it will be the police. They will locate L…and I will destroy him, for I am Kira!"

Ryuk just stared past me. I suddenly stopped walking and looked up at him. "…What?" I suddenly got this uncomfortable feeling. Slowly, I turned around and saw a group of nerds with 'KIRA RULEZ' T-shirts on.

"Awesome…" the bald one said.

"Kira's a sexy chick…" the one with the retainer said.

"OUR SAVIOR!" they all rushed towards me.

"HOLY CRAP! RUN FOR IT, RYUK!" I screamed. The shinigami and I made a dash in the other directions, my followers close behind. Maybe being a god wasn't as sweet as I pictured it to be.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDN

"Nozomi, you got a minute?"

I sighed heavily. "I told you not to talk to me, Ryuk," I hissed quietly.

"Fine. I'll do the talking then."

I shrugged. "M'kay."

"I don't dislike you, Nozomi," Ryuk said. "If the notebook had to be picked up by a person as naggy and annoying as a female, I'm glad it was you. That's because I have to hang around until either you or the notebook is gone. But I'm not rooting for you or L."

I looked up at Ryuk. "Well, then. I thought we were best friends, Ryuk. But, whatever. If you don't care about this awesome-tastic bond we share, then fine."

"No, we're still…friends, I guess…" he said. "But I'm just saying. I don't care if you win or L wins. But as your roommate and 'best friend', I will butt in sometimes. So what I'm about to say doesn't mean I'm on Kira's side or anything, I'm just getting a little creeped out…" he suddenly laughed. "You've got yourself a stalker, Nozomi."

I stopped walking and looked up at Ryuk with horror-stricken eyes. "It's those nerdy Kira worshipers we ran from the other day, isn't it?" I whispered.

"No, but this guy is starting to get on my nerves."

And with that, I continued walking. I didn't care whether it was a cop or L himself. Anything was better than the crazy Kira fans. "I'll get rid of him as soon as I can, Ryuk."

I quietly continued walking home, forcing myself not to look back at the person who was following me. I managed to make it home without seeing his face, though I was dying to know. "Who the hell is he?" I mumbled to myself once Ryuk and I were back in my room. "Does this mean L is already suspicious of the police? But, say there are at least fifty more. They couldn't possibly think I was Kira. I'm just a regular high school girl studying for exams. Aside from my obsession with porn and anime, there's nothing weird about me. But if they keep trailing me for several months, the suspicion won't remain at zero…Crap! Well, first I need this stalkers' name. I can figure the rest out after that…"

"Hey, Nozomi."

I turned away from the window to look at Ryuk. "Hmm?"

"Let me tell you something interesting," he said. "The main two differences between a human and a death god who use the Death Note. Do you know why shinigami write the names of humans in their Death Note?"

"No. How the frigging hell would I know?" I asked.

"It's because we get humans' lifespan. Say there was a person who was supposed to die at age sixty and I killed him at age forty with my notebook. Sixty minus forty equals twenty."

"I _know_ that. I'm not a flipping idiot. Gosh!"

"Anyway, those twenty years would be added to my lifespan. So even if a human were to shoot me in the head, I wouldn't die. But if you killed someone earlier than they were supposed to die, it would do nothing with your lifespan. That's the difference between a shinigami and a human who use the Death Note."

"…"

"Okay, what was the point in telling me that?" I asked.

"I'll tell you the second reason and then you'll know," Ryuk said, obviously annoyed that I didn't get the point. "This will probably be more interesting to you, Nozomi. It isn't about lengthening lifespans. It's about shortening them."

"Shortening?"

Suddenly, Ryuk was right up in my face. "Just by seeing a humans' face, a shinigami can see their name. When you look at a human with a shinigamis' eyes, you can see that humans' name and lifespan."

"Name and lifespan?" I mumbled.

"Yeah. In fact, right now I can see your name and lifespan. If I convert it into human time, I could see how many years you have left. Of course, I could never tell you how much time you have. Not even if you ripped my mouth open. That way, even if the death god doesn't know the name of the person they want to kill, there's no problem. And we know exactly how much our life span will extend when we kill that human. Our eyes are different. That is the difference between you and me, Nozomi."

I stared at Ryuk with great interest. I was about to ask him a question, when he continued speaking.

"Shinigami have the power to give the human who picked up their Death Note the Shinigami Eyes. If they agree to bargain what was determined long ago, that is."

"Well, what is it?"

"The price of a Shinigamis' Eyes…is half of that humans' remaining life span."

"Half of the remaining lifespan…" I mumbled.

"So if the person was to live fifty more years, twenty five. If it was another year, another six months."

I gulped and looked up at Ryuk. "Since you're not on my side or L's side…you wouldn't tell me the name of the person I want to kill, would you? So I can't borrow you're power. That's what you're telling me, right?"

Ryuk nodded, his eyes a piercing red. "Yeah. Besides, it's against the rules in the shinigami realm. I'll say it once more, Nozomi. In exchange for the shinigami eyes, you would have to give up half of your remaining life span."

"I…I would be able to see everyone's name…"

"So, what're you going to do, Nozomi?"

"…"

"Nah."

"Alright, let me just…wait, what?" Ryuk snapped his head up to look at me.

"In case you haven't been listening to my constant ranting, Ryuk," I said. "It's my plan to build an ideal world. One free of evil. And I plan to be a god in that world for a very long time. I thought you of all people would know I would never shorten my life. What dumbass would?"

"Eh, whatever. I just thought I should tell you anyway."

I got up from my computer and went to lay down on my bed. "Anything else you want to tell me?"

"Nope. Probably not."

"Probably!?"

"Uh, go to bed…."

I raised an eyebrow. "Hmm. Too bad. I would consider the deal if you had offered me wings or something. Flying around would be frigging sweet. I could be a real god!"

"Yeah, but then you'd be more of a freak then you already are."

"I was kidding, Ryuk."

"…"

"Well, then. Awkward…"

"…Wait a minute!" I got up from the bed, grabbed the Death Note, and went over to my computer.

"Hey, what're you doing?"

"I think I just figured out a way to find the guy that's stalking me," I said. "I'll use the rules of the Death Note to my advantage. If I write down a name, I have six minutes and forty seconds to write down the conditions of the death and the time. This should be interesting…" So I began my work.

The next day, as I was going through the police files, I suddenly opening up something that made me yell "Sweet merciful crap! Ryuk, look at this! The pictures from yesterday's test are already downloaded into my dad's computer! And the results are just as I suspected, of course. The Death Note will work for what I have in mind…"

"What do you mean by that?" Ryuk asked me.

I really hated explaining things to this dumbass. "One of them had escaped and ran into the bathroom like I had specified. Another drew the same symbol I intended him to before he died. And finally, the last one had written the letter I had written in the Death Note, word by mother-frigging, ass-slapping word! Isn't that awesome!?"

"Wow. You've finally learned that the Death Note actually makes people die," Ryuk said sarcastically, slowly clapping his hands.

"Shut up!" I hissed at him. "Anyway, for the other four inmates, I had them do stuff that was virtually impossible. The first I had die in front of the Eiffel Tower. But, seeing as that's impossible, he died of a heart attack. The second one died of a heart attack because I wrote that he would draw a picture of L's face on the wall. But you can't draw someone you've never seen. I was going to have the third person write a letter that said 'I know L is suspicious of the Japanese police.' Strangely enough, it didn't happen."

"And the fourth?"

I grinned. "Oh, I wrote 'death by Care Bares' in the Death Note!"

"Really? And how'd that turn out?"

"Far too awesome for words, Ryuk. Too awesome for words." I pulled up the pictures and Ryuk gasped.

"Damn! I know I'm a god of death, but this…this…this is just GRUESOME!"

"Yep!" I smiled. I clicked on a few more icons and pulled up a picture of a strange looking man. "This is a man who robbed a bank yesterday because of his drug addiction and dumbassery and stuff. I'll use him. It's last minute, but…"

"Ooh! You finally decided to stop fantasizing about anime boys and get yourself a bitch?" Ryuk asked. I glared up at him.

"No," I snapped, dialing a number. The phone didn't even ring one time when…

"How the hell did you get this number?" came Keiko's emotionless voice.

"What? Keiko, it's Nozomi."

"Oh, I see," mumbled Ryuk. "You're a lesbian now…"

"Nozomi? Oh, sorry. New phone," Keiko said. "So, what's up?"

"Can I borrow one of your fanboys?" I asked her. "I need a date."

"For what?"

"Keiko, is there ever really a _point_ to dating?"

"…"

"Fine. I'll have Yuko go out with you. He's hot, but kind of annoying. That okay?"

"Awesome! Thanks, Keiko! You're the best!"

"Yeah, I know," she said. "But you better tell that bastard to tell the other fanboys to leave me the hell alone or I'll put rabbit pee in their food."

"Got it! Bye!" I hung up the phone, a smirk painted on my face.

"What was that all about?" Ryuk asked me.

"Oh, you'll see soon enough, Ryuk…you'll see."

DNDNDNDNDNDN

_A/N: Yes, another chapter of NYWLOD has come to a close. But not to worry! I shall return with a new chapter soon! _

_Next time, Nozomi finds a way to get rid of her stalker. But he's sexy. Being the pervert that she is, will she be able to kill her Sexy Stalker Man? Find out in the next instalment of __**Nozomi Yagami's Wonderful Life of Doom**__!_


	4. Sexy Stalker Man

_A/N: Yays! Chapter four! :3 Thank those of you who have reviewed!!! Reviews make me happy 3 And suuuure, I'll keep updating, but only 'cause you asked so nicely! XD_

_I had a lot of fun with this chapter. I've been dying to put Raye Penber in. Seriously, you've got to admit, that guy IS pretty flipping sexy. But Misora's a bitch. :[_

Nozomi Yagami's Wonderous Life of Doom

Chapter 4

Sexy Stalker Man

The next morning, I silently walked down the stairs of the bus station, trying to act as cool as possible. I quickly glanced to my right. There he was. The man who had been tailing me all this time. I have to say, he was rather on the sexy side…

_Frick!_ I thought to myself. _Dammit, Nozomi, this is no time to be pervy… I have a mission today…but then I'll drone about his sexiness. Awesome!_

Suddenly, I saw him. Yuko Minato, one of Keiko's loyal fanboys. He was kind of cute.

…

Okay, super sexy fine cute. He had short brown hair with bright glistening eyes and a smile that nearly made me faint. He was almost as sexy as my stalker. But he was annoying as hell. "Hey! Nozomi!" he called. He looked rather happy to see me, but only because he knew he would probably (as in not really) get on Keiko's good side if he went out with me. That pissed me off a bit, but whatever.

"Wow, Nozomi. Even though you had you're scary friend force him into it, you've actually got a date!" Ryuk said. "I'm so proud."

"Oh, bite me…" I murmured.

"So what're you going to do?"

"Dear god, Ryuk, I spent, like, three hours explaining it to you last night!" I hissed.

"Yeah. But that was no fun."

I sighed. "Just watch, Ryuk."

"Hey, Nozomi," Yuko said again, a fake smile painted on his face. "I haven't been to Space Land since I was a kid! And the best part is, I get you all to myself-"

"Keiko isn't watching, okay?" I said. "We can hate each other if you want. I just needed something to do today."

"What are you talking about? I like you, Nozomi!" he said, pointing to a button on his shirt. "She put tabs on me," he whispered.

"You weren't supposed to tell her that!" I heard Keiko's voice scream form the button. "Sorry, Nozomi. I'll kick this bastard's ass later."

"That won't be a bad thing," Yuko said in a pervy voice.

"…"

"Eew."

Suddenly, the bus arrived. Yuko and I got on, Ryuk hovering above me. Once we sat down, I looked to see if my stalker had gotten on the bus yet. He was heading for the bus, but the doors were beginning to close. I had to think quick.

"OH, MY HEART!" I screamed, falling out of the seat and clutching my chest. Yeah. Not the greatest move ever. But, the bus driver quickly got up, stopping the doors from closing.

"Hey, are you okay?" he asked of me. I didn't answer until the stalker got on the bus.

"Uh, yeah I'm fine," I said in a perky voice, sitting back in my seat. Though confused, the driver went up to the front to commence driving. God, that ride was long. And the entire time, Yuko kept droning on and on and on about some random crap and I pretended to care. No matter how much I hated it, at least Sexy Stalker Man was convinced I was just a normal girl going on a normal date with a normal guy with an abnormal ability to talk for hours on end.

Eventually, I saw him.

_Finally_! I thought when the man got on the bus. _God, how long should a person wait for a bus jacking? Some people have no flipping courtesy…_

Once the bus started moving, the drug addict pulled out a gun and held it to the driver's head. "Alright, nobody move unless you want to die! Anyone moves, I'll put a bullet in their head!"

"Oh, crap…" I heard Sexy Stalker Man mumble.

And I smirked on the inside. The robber was on the telephone with Space Land when I finally put my awesome plan into action. I showed my note to Yuko, carefully angling it so Sexy Stalker Man could see.

_Don't worry. When he turns around, I'll grab the gun_.

"Don't be stupid, that's risky," Sexy Stalker Man said to me. "If it comes to that, I'll take care of it."

I could barely stop myself from squealing. His new name was Sexy Stalker Man With Sexy Voice! …Nah. Too long.

I started to write another note, when he said "It's alright. We don't have to pass notes. If we keep it down, he won't be able to hear our voices over the engine."

I nodded. "Got it, Sexy Man."

"…What?"

"Sorry. I don't know you're name and you're, like, _really_ hot." I turned to glare at him. "But, hot or not, how do we know you're not his accomplice? You could be a second hijacker for all we know."

Sexy Stalker Man hesitated. Then, he pulled out his ID and showed it to me.

Raye Penber

I smirked. Not only because I finally got his name, but Sexy Stalker Man had a Sexy Stalker Voice and a Sexy Stalker Name too! Too bad I had to kill him. "Do you have a gun?" I whispered.

"Yeah."

"So if it comes down to it I can rely on you, right?"

"Yes."

Time for phase three. No wait, four…whatever the hell phase this was! I pulled the tiny piece of the Death Note from my pocket and dropped it to the ground. I leaned over to pick it up, and the hijacker spotted me. Just as planned.

"Hey! What's that, you little bitch!?"

"Ooh, language…" I mumbled.

"What the hell is that!?"

"It looks like a flipping note to me, dumbass," I said. He wasn't going to do anything to us, so I might as well have a little fun with him.

"What? Smartass…" He picked up the note. He read the contents I had made up. "What? Plans for a date, eh? Stupid brat…" He threw the note to the ground and turned away. Perfect. "Hey…Hey! What the hell!? You, in the back!" He pointed his gun at the shinigami only he and I could see.

"Wait…you can see me?" Ryuk shot a glare at me. His facial expression didn't change, but I could tell it was meant to be a scowl.

"Everyone, get down!" Sexy Stalker Man yelled.

**…**

What? I like Sexy Stalker Man more than Raye Penber!

The addict began shooting at Ryuk. The shinigami only laughed. "Wow. This guy's retarded, Nozomi."

I smiled and nodded. Then I noticed Sexy Stalker Man was looking at me like I was crazy. "…Sorry. I love seeing bad guys hallucinate."

Raye got up and ran through Ryuk to the front of the bus. The "hallucinater" did the same. "You gotta let me off the bus!" the hijacker yelled. The bus was pulled to an immediate stop. He ran out and tripped in the street. Just as a car was coming and…

BOOM!

Buckets of blood!

The Death Note never fails!

_You will be next…Sexy Stalker Man…er, um, Raye Penber._

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

"Ooh, you're going to kill that FBI agent, aren't you?"

I didn't bother looking up at Ryuk this time. "No. I'll wait a while to kill Sexy Stalker Man. It would only draw attention to myself if I killed him right after I met him. I'll let him investigate someone else with ties to the police. In the meantime, I'll just mess around with the inmates I kept alive. How does 'Death by Doritos Truck' sound to you?"

Ryuk laughed. "Be sure to get lots of pictures of that one. Ooh! Or how about 'Death by Screamo music'?"

"Brilliant! No, wait, I got it… 'Death by Rubber Ducks'!"

The shinigami and I both started laughing.

"What's so funny, dear?"

"GOSH!"

A few days later, at the train station, Ryuk and I were peacefully waiting for a train to arrive.

"…Say, what's with the weird clothes?" he asked me.

"They're not weird," I snapped. Well, they were a little weird. I had on jeans that were too long and a black hoodie with Suzumiya Haruhi on it, and a gray snow hat on with the hood over my head.

"Not weird? Nozomi, I can't even tell you're a girl anymore!"

I glared up at Ryuk. "Eat me."

Suddenly, I saw him. Raye Penber was right on time. As he walked past me, I silently followed. "Raye Penber," I whispered. "Turn around and you're dead. I am Kira."

He froze. "What? No…you can't be…where have I heard your voice before?"

"Radio," I hissed. "I'm an announcer on the radio."

"But…that's impossible. I don't listen to the radio."

"Oh, shut up, you sexy piece of shit!" I took a deep breath, trying to calm myself. "Put your hand in your pocket and I'll kill you. To prove to you I'm Kira, I'll kill the man over there at the coffee shop. The one sweeping the floors."

Raye averted his attention to the man who was, indeed, sweeping the floors of the coffee shop. "What? But, how? No, wait, don't do it…"

Too late. The man had already died of a heart attack. "He was a sexual abuser," I whispered to Raye. "People like him don't deserve life. They only deserve the fire pits of hell. I suppose L has already informed you that I need a persons' face to kill them, right? I could kill any of these people if you don't believe me…"

"No. I believe you. You're Kira," Raye said back to me.

"Good. Now I assume your loved ones mean more to you than any of these people. Think of them as the real hostages."

He gasped. "How do you know about her?"

Her? I didn't know there was a Her. I was just making this up as I went along. I assume he meant his mother or something. "I've been researching you," I lied. "And if you don't do as I say, she and the rest of your loved ones will die, and that includes you. That's a promise, Raye Penber."

"Alright. I'll do what you want."

"Awesome," I chuckled, smirking. "I see you have a laptop. I want all the information on all the FBI agents who came to Japan."

"I do have my laptop, but I don't have information on the other agents."

"Well, then." I took the orange envelope from under my jacket and handed it to him. "First, take the transceiver out and put the ear piece in. Then just await my orders." I slithered off into the shadows, leaving Raye Penber alone. Once I saw that he put the ear piece in, I began giving him my instructions. "Now get on the Yamanote line, inner or outer route. It doesn't matter which direction you go. Remember, I will be close by at all times. When you get on the train, pick a spot in front of you and keep your eyes on it. If I see you looking around, I will make you die a harsh and painful death, one involving something horrible like Care Bares."

"Okay, I…Care Bares?"

**"…"**

"Inside joke. Just do as I say, dammit!"

"But the train hasn't come yet."

"…Oh. So it hasn't." I cleared my throat and began giving him more orders. "Once you get on the train, get the seat closest to the door. If it's occupied, wait for it to be free. Got it?"

"Alright."

So we waited for the train. And waited. And waited. And when it finally arrived, Raye got the seat closest to the door, just like I intended him to. "Good," I said into the transceiver. "Now if I feel as if you're lying to me, she will die." I quickly rushed into the train car next to his and watched him from the window. "How many FBI agents are there in Japan now? Speak quietly and don't make it obvious."

"Um…four."

"YOU'RE LYING, DAMMIT!"

"I believe there are four teams with three members on them," he said nervously. "That makes twelve FBI agents."

"Raye Penber, if I am able to kill whoever I want, I _think _I can count to twelve," I hissed into the transceiver. "Now take the papers out of the envelope." He did as I told him to. I smirked at the shock on his face when he saw the ordinary pieces of paper. Little did he know they weren't ordinary. "In the first box, I want you to write the name of your superior. The person who's in charge of all this. In a few moments, you will receive a message on your laptop from said superior. It will have all the information on all the other FBI agents currently in Japan. I want you to carefully look at all the agents and write their names in the space provided. Do this for every agent." He did as I said. "Good. Now put everything back into the envelope and put it in the compartment above your head. Ride the train for at least another thirty minutes, and be sure no one notices you leaving without the envelope."

Those thirty minutes were pretty freaking long. _Damn it_! I thought to myself. _I should have brought my Nintendo DS. _Soon I discovered I didn't need my DS to be entertained. There was a fat guy in a tank top in front of me and I spent those thirty minutes counting his rolls of fat. _73…74…75… _But, finally, the train came to a stop and Raye Penber got off the train.

And it was time.

As he walked off the train, I carefully counted the seconds. Four…three…two…one….

Raye Penber froze. He clutched his chest and sank to his knees. He fell to the ground in pain. I was standing in the doorway of the train. Raye looked up at me.

"Farewell, Sexy Man," I said. I then smirked. "Say hi to Brittany Spears and Hitler for me!"

"What?" He mumbled. "Wait…the voice…"

My two ponytails fell out from the hood.

"Yagami…Nozomi…"

And the doors closed.

I smirked to myself. Raye Penber had written the names of all the other agents on pieces of the Death Note. Without knowing it, he killed all the other agents with heart attacks. This was just too damn easy! But then I realized something…

"Aww, man…" I mumbled to Ryuk, who had just appeared beside me. "I killed Sexy Man." I felt my eyes swell with tears.

"Hey, it's okay, Nozomi," Ryuk said. "Why don't we go kill some criminals with kittens or action figures or something? That'll make you feel better."

I sniffed. "Okay…And I'll get us a whole crap load of apples!"

"Great!"

And suddenly I wasn't sad anymore.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

_A/N: As you can probably guess, next chapter, Nozomi will be killing off Misora. Hooray! XD Sorry to all you Misora fans. I would have kept her alive, just like I would have Raye, but they'd get in the way too much. So..until next time!_


	5. Sexy Stalker Mans' Paranoid Fiance

_A/N: Finally! I got to chapter 5 without angry criticts saying 'you're a disgrace to Light!'. So thank you all for not delivering that message. :3 I thought this was going to be crappy, but it appears as though you guys actually like it. 3 once again, thank you for the reviews!_

_I am sad to inform you that Naomi Misora dies in the chapter…nah. I'm not sad. XD_

Nozomi Yagami's Wonderous Life of Doom

Chapter 5

Sexy Stalker Mans' Paranoid Fiancé

L

Do you know

Gods of death

Love apples?

I continued to twiddle my thumbs as my father was looking for the right words to tell us what he had to tell us. I already knew, but mom and Sayu were completely oblivious.

"So, what's with the family meeting, dad?" Sayu asked.

"Well, I didn't want to alarm any of you. I'm sure you've already heard of the Kira investigation going on," dad said. "And…I am currently in charge of it."

"Oh my god!" I gasped, pretending to be surprised.

"That's awesome, dad!" Sayu said. "You're the best cop ever!"

"Well, that isn't really the point I'm trying to make here." He looked up at my sister and I. "The point is…well, there were twelve FBI agents sent to Japan to investigate Kira. Yesterday, they all died."

"Wait, does that mean Kira killed them?" I said, trying my hardest not to burst out laughing.

"Yes. I has become apparent that Kira will kill anyone who gets in his way. His crimes are more ruthless than anything in history. Many other police officers and detectives have already quit."

"Then you should quit too, dad!" Sayu said.

"Yes, you're life is much more important than some job!" my mother chimed in.

"No. I would never forgive myself if I quit," my father said.

"I think it's honorable of you," I finally said, getting up from the table. "And if Kira ever kills you…I'll kill that bastard myself."

"Well, by the way the people were murdered, we assume it might be a girl…"

"Okay, bye!" I said nervously, scurrying out of the room. Damn, those cops were observant!

Days later, while in my room, I was drawing up schematics as to when I was most active. "December 18th to December 27th…" I mumbled. "Just one oversight…a single piece of evidence is all it would take. It could cost me my life…just one thing…

I rubbed my temples. "Damn, this is hard!" I left my desk to go lay down on my bed.

"What? Are you done studying already?" Ryuk asked me, sitting on my bed as well.

"I guess…" Bored, I went downstairs, Ryuk following close behind me.

"But moooom!" I heard Sayu whine. "I totally promised my friends I'd go out with them today!"

"You're fathers' gone days without a change of clothes, so you're going to take these to him," mom said.

"I'll do it," I said with a shrug.

"Really? Thanks, Nozomi! I totally owe you one!" Sayu said.

I took the bag of clothes from my mom. "Just let me get my shoes on." I ran back upstairs, Ryuk still following me. "Oh, I see. Planning to spy on the police, eh?"

I turned to look up at him. "Um…I was just doing something nice for my little sister, but I like you're plan a hell of a lot better!"

After slipping on my shoes, I pulled out a page of the Death Note, folding it so I could fit it in my pocket. Just in case I had to kill someone. "Kay. Let's go, Ryuk."

We left the house silently. When I was nearly to the building, I tried calling my father on my cell phone, but it only went to voice mail. "That's unusual for dad…" Ryuk and I entered the building, only to see a woman at the reception desk. She was pretty with long black hair and a body like an hourglass.

"Please, you have to let me talk to one of the special Task Force members!" she said to the man behind the counter.

"I'm sorry," the counter man said, "but there isn't anyone at headquarters right now."

_What?_ No one at headquarters? I thought. _But dad's phone is turned off. What's going on?_

"I have information related to the Kira investigation!"

_Kira investigation? _I walked forward to the desk. "Um, hi. I'm detective Yagami Soichiro's daughter, Nozomi. I brought my father a change of clothes, but I guess he isn't in right now. Could I just leave them here?"

"Oh, sure," one of the men said. "I haven't seen you in a while, Nozomi."

"…"

"You don't remember?" he said. "You helped solve the insurance fraud case last year. But, hey, no one remembers the receptionists."

"Oh, sorry! I'm suckish at faces," I apologized.

"So, does this mean you're going to help with the Kira investigation, Nozomi?"

"Um, maybe," I said. "Hell, maybe I'll find Kira before L does."

"I'm sorry," the other man said to the woman. "No one is answering at headquarters. You're going to have to trust me on this, ma'am. I'll give them you're message as soon as I see them, I promise."

"No! That isn't good enough!"

"Excuse me," I said to her. "My father is leading the Kira investigation. If you want, I could pass the message on to him. His cell phone is off right now, but I'll tell him when it's back on. A number of FBI agents were recently killed and he's really busy now."

"Uh, Nozomi, I don't think it's such a good idea to discuss that…"

"It's okay," I said. "I'm a girl. I know when I can trust other girls. It's like a flipping mutant power or something. Anyway, you must have heard that the police had a leak of some kind. Is that why you wanted to tell them in person?" the woman and I began walking in the other direction. "Once he checks his messages and calls me back, I'll let you talk to him."

"Are you sure that's alright?" she asked.

I nodded. "Of course. You can probably understand why I can't give you my fathers' cell phone number, but you can trust the both of us." I smiled.

"Why the hell are you so happy?" Ryuk asked. I ignored him.

"Thank you so much," she said and bowed.

"She walked right into that one, didn't she Nozomi?" Ryuk chuckled. "Nozomi? …Hey, Nozomi!"

"STFU, Ryuk!" I hissed quietly.

The woman and I walked outside and started to talk. "So, you must be fairly brave to get involved with the Kira case."

"Not really."

"Hey, wait," I said. "We've been talking all this time and I don't even know you're name. My name is Yagami Nozomi."

"I'm Shoko Maki."

Ryuk laughed.

"Miss Maki, then?" I said. "I've been thinking about Kira's powers and I think she somehow can control people before they die."

"She?"

I froze. "Um…or he. I don't know."

"Hmm…" Maki said. "It's strange that you say that. I've been thinking that too. If my analysis is correct, then he can kill in a number of way, not just with a heart attack."

_Wait, she know!? Aww, crap! I'm frigging screwed! Who is this woman!?_

"I doubt anyone knows this, but if the police were to consider it, I bet it would help them catch Kira," she said.

"So, what you're saying is, whenever Kira wants a murder to go undetected, he'll kill the victim with something other than a heart attack?" I asked.

"I'm almost positive that someone I know may have met Kira."

"Met Kira? If you told someone that they met Kira, they'd probably be more than a little skeptical. Why don't you have your friend talk to them?"

"I would, but…" Maki paused. "He's no longer with us. He was one of the FBI agents who came to Japan to investigate Kira."

I gulped. _FBI agent? Met Kira? Wait…does she mean…Raye Penber?_

"You see, he was in a bus jacking and I think that Kira may have been on that bus," She said. "He was…also my fiancé."

_Oh crap!_ I thought to myself. _I never would have kill Raye Penber if I had known he was engaged, or even had a girlfriend. I can't believe…this woman is suffering because I didn't want to get caught…I'm sorry._

"Is something wrong?" she asked.

"Um…no…" I mumbled, forcing myself to keep the tears from flowing. "I'm sorry to hear he passed away." I took in a shaky breath. "So, what makes you think he met Kira on that bus?"

"Because, eight days after that bus jacking…he died. Along with the other eleven FBI investigators. The man who hijacked the bus attempted to rob a bank a few days previous. And then he just dies…I mean, what're the odds? I believe Kira designed that bus jacking just so he could get my fiancés name and the kill all the other FBI agents. And the hijacker was killed in an accident, which is proof that Kira can kill people with other ways than heart attacks." Maki suddenly stopped walking. I stopped with her.

"Okay, so the bus jacker didn't die of a heart attack, and you're saying that's why Kira can kill people with ways other than a heart attack?" I asked.

"Yes."

"Don't take this the wrong way, but I think that's a bit of a leap of faith."

"There's no other way. If Kira was controlling the hijacker, than maybe he killed him, too," she said.

"I still don't get it."

"I've been wondering about that bus jacking since my fiancé first told me about it. Once he calmed down, I asked for details about it. He didn't give me any names, but he said he was put in a situation where he had to show his ID to someone. It was taken in secrecy, without the NPA knowing. He wasn't aloud to show his ID. I think whoever saw his ID that day is responsible for all the deaths of the FBI agents."

"I see," I nodded. "So you're the only one who knows this and you want to avenge your fiancé by bringing Kira to justice, right? And now you're convinced that Kira can kill without using a heart attack?"

"Yes."

"You're deductive skills are amazing and you can't deny you have a personal interest in the investigation. You're theory is worth looking into, that's for sure. If what you're telling me is true, then it's only a matter of time before the police catch up with Kira. The person you're fiancé showed his ID to on the bus…it had to be Kira."

"That's right."

_If she had spoken to the police before meeting me…It doesn't matter how she came to the conclusion, the point is that this woman knows the truth. If she gives this information to the police, it won't take them very long to realize that Kira is actually me. I don't want to, but…I'll have to kill her…_

"Something wrong?"

I broke out of my trace to see Maki starting at me. "Uh, it's nothing. It's just…the more I think about your theory, the more it makes sense to me. We can't waist any time, we have to start investigating it right away!"

"What? You really mean that?" she said.

"Of course. So, have you told anyone else about this?"

"No. You're the first person I told."

Ryuk laughed. "You're lucky, Nozomi. But how will you get rid of her? It isn't like you can kill her here."

_Thanks for stating the obvious, God of Douche_.

I pulled out the piece of the Death Note and a pen. "Could you tell me the time and date of the bus jacking?"

"It was December 20th, near Asagawa Hill and 11:02 a.m. bound for Space Land."

I wrote down the Death Note information on Maki's suicide that she would later commit, trying not to tear up. Dammit, I hated killing innocent people! I thought Maki and I could be friends before she told me about this. Crap. But still…if I kill her, I'll save the rest of the world from evil.

Ryuk laughed hard, so hard it was sort of annoying.

No one would find her body this way. And even if they did, then people would only assume the death of her fiancé drove her to commit suicide.

Ryuk continued to laugh. God, when the hell was that frigging shinigami gonna shut the [CENCOR] up!?

"Okay. I've got the information. You wouldn't mind if I report this to my father, would you?"

"Well, I'd actually like to do it myself," she said.

Frick!

"And after talking to you, I've decided to do it as soon as possible." Maki turned away and started walking.

I stared at my watch, awaiting her to die. Five more seconds…four more seconds….three more seconds…two more seconds…just one more second….

Nothing.

Why the hell wasn't she dead!?

"Kira will definitely be caught, don't you think?" she said.

"Uh…yeah…" I looked at my watch again.

_She should have left by now! In fact, she should have already been dead! Wait…she's using an alias! That bitch!_

She suddenly stopped walking. "I should head back now. One of the task force members is probably back by now."

"Yeah, you're probably right. Well, let's cross our fingers." We turned around and began heading back to the headquarters. Damn it! I was running out of options. I had to stop her before it was too late. Wait…oh, frick! What if dad called just then? I already promised her I'd let her talk to him! If my phone rang, it would have been all over. I quickly turned off my phone.

_Her purse, her pocket, she has to have a drivers' license somewhere! I suppose I could always use force…no. Then I'd just look like a flipping lesbo. Frick, what am I gonna do?I have to get her somewhere isolated. But, where? What explanation would I give her? No, she's far too careful and paranoid. I can do this. I just need her to give me her real name._

Ryuk laughed once more. "Hey, Nozomi, the shinigami eye deal is still open. You sure you don't want to do it?"

"God, Ryuk, you're so flipping annoying!" I hissed quietly.

"Excuse me," she said, "but it you don't have any business at the headquarters, I'd like to go there alone, if you don't mind."

"Um…sure."

Damn!

"Thank you, Nozomi," she said. "After talking to you, I feel much more confident about my theory."

"Not at all."

She bowed and turned to leave.

_I have about five minutes before she gets to headquarters. I have to get her real name before then. I have to hurry…I can't waste any time_.

In case you haven't noticed, dear readers, but I can be serious when I have to be. It isn't as interesting, I know, but think of it as a Death Note recap. Just please don't stop reading the fanfic! I have to put food on the table, you know! I'LL STARVE WITHOUT YOU!!

….

Moving on.

"Wait, Maki!" I called to her. She turned back around. "Look, the thing is…you can't reach any of the task force members directly."

"What? You mean I can't contact anyone?"

"Didn't you find it weird that no one was at headquarters?"

She hesitated. "I did find it a bit strange…"

"The task force members aren't aloud to show their faces to anyone on the outside or else…a tragedy might happen, like the one that claimed Sexy Sta- I mean, your fiancés life."

"Oh…I see."

"That's why you were told that no one was at headquarters. What I mean is, you won't be able to have contact with any member of the task force because the police just won't allow it," I said.

"If this is supposed to be a secret, then how do you know so much?"

"…"

Oh, [CENCOR].

"Um… I know because…um…I'm in the task force."

"Really?" Maki said.

"Ooh! I did NOT see that coming!" gasped Ryuk.

"Yeah. I'm an agent. L is leading the investigation. He was concerned the task force had become too small," I continued, making stuff up as I went along. "Despite the fact that I'm a high school student, he allowed me to be on the investigation. Well, forced, really. L's a total bastard." Hey, I might as well have some fun with it.

"So L trusts you, then?"

"Trusts me?" I said. "He's got a tattoo on his ass that says 'NOZOMI'! And mine says 'L'."

Ryuk laughed. I had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing as well. Dissing L was fun!

"Um…well then…" she said, clearing her throat. "I'd still rather see if I could talk to any other member. Goodbye."

"…"

DAMN IT! WAS THERE NO END TO THIS BITCHES' SUSPICION!? WRAAAUGHH!!!

"Wait! I already said you can't get so see any of the task force members!"

"I was thinking of talking to L directly."

"What? But that's just retarded! Why the hell would he talk to a complete stranger? He's rather secretive, in case you haven't noticed."

"Yes, but I have a feeling he'll talk to me," she said. "I followed his orders once, though it was only through a computer. You see, I worked under him in a case in the US a few years back."

Oh god, the universe was just against me today, wasn't it?

"Wh-what?"

"Yes. I didn't tell you this, but up until three months ago, I was an FBI agent."

_This is it_! I thought in victory. _Finally, something I can use!_

"Just as I thought," I lied. "I knew you're skills were far better than those of an armature."

"Yes. I know it's unrealistic, but I'm certain I can trust L," she continued. "I think that if I go to headquarters and give them my name, they'll let me speak with L."

"But if the only person you can trust is L, then…why me?"

"It's…it's because you remind me of L."

Oh NO she didn't!

Trying to control the anger that was boiling up inside of me, I said "Would you investigate this case with me? I'm serious, the team needs someone like you! All you need is L's permission, a recommendation from a task force member, and a valid identification."

"You want…_me_ to join the task force?"

"I'd like to be the one to recommend you."

"…"

"Alright! Please let me investigate this case with you!"

And Ryuk laughed. He laughed and laughed and laughed. If he was human, I would think his lungs would give out.

"Yes, of course," I said. "I just need some ID first."

"Oh. Of course."

And from her pocket she pulled that awesome-tastic ID. It was all over now. I silently took the ID from her hand, my own hand shaking in anxiousness. It suddenly started to snow. I wrote down her name in the Death Note just as a man with an umbrella passed us. I paid him no mind, not knowing this was one of the men I would be working with.

Naomi Misora

Excellent.

I looked at my watch, a smirk forming on my face.

"Um, if you don't mind my asking," Misora said. "Why do you keep looking at your watch?"

Now I was grinning. "I guess it's because…I'm Kira."

She froze, staring at me with horror-stricken eyes. Then, moments later, she turned around and walked off.

"What's the matter?" I asked, trying not to laugh evily.

"There's something I have to do."

"Well, then…goodbye," I whispered. "Naomi Misora."

And she walked off to hang herself. It was a fairly dramatic moment, until…

"Ah…cheew!" I sneezed. "Gaw, frick! It's freezing out here! Come on, Ryuk. Let's go home. I'll make us an apple pie." I sneezed again. "And hot tea…" I sniffed.

"They make apples into PIES!?"

"Yep!" And we walked home happily, discussing what kind of day tomorrow held. Ah, yes. A girl and her shinigami.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

_A/N: Yo! Thank you for reading another chapter of NYWLOD! Next time: Nozomi gets sick, buys the wrong kind of porn, discovers there's cameras in her room, gets into college, AND she finally meets L! All in ONE CHAPTER!! Tune in next time for the sixth chapter in 'Nozomi Yagami's Wonderous Life of Doom'!"_


	6. More Sucky Stuff Occurs

_A/N: Like I promised in the A/N of the last chapter, Nozomi will finally encounter L. But before that, dear readers, Nozomi will do…a lot of stuff that I don't feel like listing. So…just read!  
_

_PS: Thank you so much for the kind reviews! :3_

Nozomi Yagami's Wonderous Life of Doom

Chapter 6

More Sucky Stuff Occurs

"Dammit…" I murmured the following morning, not bothering to get out of bed. Oh, why didn't a wear a thicker coat the day before, when I killed Naomi Misora?

"Hey, what's the matter with you, Nozomi?" Ryuk asked, munching on an apple.

"I'm sick, Ryuk…" I sniffed before going into a harsh coughing fit. "I feel like shit…"

He cocked an eyebrow (do shinigami have eyebrows?). What's "sick"? Is it some weird human thing?"

I rolled my eyes and sneezed. "Yeah, Ryuk. That's it…" I sniffled and grabbed a pen and the Death Note. I reached for the remote, but it was an inch to far. "Hn…Ryuk, turn on the TV," I whined.

"What're you doing?" he asked.

"I can't stop being Kira just because I have a…h-have a…." I sneezed again. I sniffed. "Have a cold. Don't you think it would be more than a little suspicious if criminals stopped dying around the same time I got sick? I'm already a suspect. I don't need any more suspicion."

Ryuk looked down at me. "You can worry about that later. Just rest, okay?"

I cocked an eyebrow. "Why do you care?"

He hesitated. "Because…um…you supply my apples! Yeah! And the sooner you get better, the sooner I get apples."

I smiled sickly. "Whatever. You know you care about me."

He scowled. Well, I think he meant to scowl. "I don't! You're no more than entertainment for me, got it?"

I sniffed, trying to fight a tickle in my nose. "Yeah, whatever, R-R-" I sneezed again. I sniffled miserably and curled up in a tighter ball, trying my hardest to get warm from under the blankets.

Ryuk stared at me with his usual blank expression. "Know what…I'll go steal some apples. Let you sleep. Besides, it smells like sick in here anyway." He turned away from me. He was about to go through the wall, but he hesitated. "And…maybe I'll steal some cold medicine…You know. If I feel like it." And he left my room.

I smiled to myself. Ryuk was a jackass. But, hey, he was my super awesome shinigami best friend jackass. And, of course, Ryuk didn't return with any medicine. But he had a crap load of apples. When he came in, he tossed me one. "Eat it," he commanded. "You know, in the shinigami world, we say "an apple a day keeps the death god away.""

I took a bite. "'Kay. Then go away."

"Oh, Nozomi?" my mother called. "Would you like some soup, dear? I'll make you some chicken soup!"

"NO, MOTHER!!" I screamed. "YOU'RE SOUP TASTES LIKE FLAMING DOG SHIT!! GOSH!!"

Ryuk cackled and began devouring his apples. Maybe Ryuk wasn't such a sucky roommate after all.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

After my cold had gone away, I continued my usual habit with the Death Note. I had finally realized how much of a bitch the Death Note actually was. It was frigging _addicting_. I hadn't stopped writing names in it for four days. FOUR DAYS!!!

"Hey, Nozomi, what's wrong with you? You've been writing in the Death Note for days non-stop," Ryuk said to me one morning. "What's the point in writing their names when you're having them die weeks later?"

"Well, Ryuk, I really thought about things when I had that cold. Maybe next time it won't just be a cold. Maybe it'll be pneumonia, or some other sickness. Or you know all I ever eat is sugar and calories. One day I may be hospitalized because of that, and I'm still a suspect of Kira. If criminals stopped dying at the same time I entered the hospital, that would be a little strange, don't you think?" I said back.

"…"

"…So stop eating crap."

I glared up at Ryuk. "That isn't even an option, you bastard!" I shoved the Death Note aside and began to sew the little compartment I made to sew on the inside of my jacket with clippings from the Death Note in it.

"You're pretty good with your hands, Nozomi," Ryuk said. "The boys must love you."

"Nah," I sighed, shrugging. "I'm eighteen years old and I've never had sex, much less a boyfriend. That's a bit sad, don't you think? Guys don't really like me. I might have boobs, buts it isn't like I'm pretty or cute or anything."

"What? I honestly think you're very cute, Nozomi."

"Ah, shove it up your ass, you lying douchebag…"

DNDNDNDNDNDNDN

"See you tomorrow, Nozomi!"

I turned back to Minami, Keiko and Saku-chan. "Bye, guys! Keiko, you're getting the American 'Play Girl' tomorrow, right?"

She nodded.

"Awesome! Bring it when you come over tomorrow! We'll have the Porno Party we've been wanting to have!"

I entered my house, feeling happy and excited. All the lights were off, so it appeared like no one was home. "Yo! Is anyone home! I brought cake from the store!" I looked around. There was no one. "Fine! More cake for me!" I giddily ran into the kitchen to put the chocolate delicacy in the fridge. I then went up to my room so I could fish out all the male porn magazines I had been collecting since I was twelve. I went to open the door…when the little white tab fell out.

_Some bastards' been in my room!_

I entered the room and lay down on my bed.

"Hey, Nozomi!" Ryuk greeted me. "No ones' home! You wanna play some video games? I'm getting pretty good at Viva Piñata! Hey? Nozomi? Are you listening?" I got up and left the room, Ryuk following close behind. "Nozomi? Come on, where are we going? Talk to me, dammit!"

I left the house and went down a couple of blocks before turning to Ryuk. "I think that my house is bugged, Ryuk. Cameras and wiretaps all over."

"What? Really? How can you tell?"

"I set up a test to see if anyone was in my room. I don't really feel like explaining it at the moment. But, the point is, people are gonna be watching Ryuk. So I can't talk to you as long as we're in the house, okay?"

"Got it."

I continued to walk down the street until I got to Yamamoto Book Store. Inside, I picked up the latest Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu light novel and the latest edition of Love Love Boy Porn. I also got a frigging sweet DVD of 'Worlds' Sexiest Men'. After giving the woman behind the counter a 10,000 yen bill, I got my bag of awesomeness and went home with Ryuk.

"Hey, Ryuk, what're you gonna do about your apples?"

"My apples…" Ryuk got a horrified expression on his face. "Oh, [CENCOR]!!! With the cameras around, It'll look like the apple's just floating in mid-air!"

"I'm sorry, Ryuk, but I guess you'll have to stop eating apples for a while."

"What!? You've gotta be kidding, you [CENCOR] little [CENCOR]!!!

I looked up at Ryuk, my eyes wide. "Ryuk…"

He sighed. "Sorry about that. Apples to me are like alcohol and cigarettes are for humans. I even get withdrawal symptoms!"

"Really, how?"

"My body gets all twisted, I do handstands, it really isn't pretty!"

"Uh…yeah. I don't want to see that," I mumbled, trying not to imagine it. "Okay. Here's the thing. I already gave L the hint that shinigami love apples, so I can't take the risk."

"…"

"WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU DO THAT!?!?"

"Look, Ryuk, it was either 'L, do you know? Gods of death love apples,' or 'L, do you know? Kira is your pimp, bi-atch.' I personally thought that the apples thing would add a little more mystery to it. Now, if you really want to eat apples, then you'll have to look at all the cameras and see if there's a blind spot. If there is, then you can eat all the apples you want," I told him.

"Sweet!"

The minute I got back in my room, I took out the porno magazine.

_It's so simple! What teenage girl doesn't want to look at naked men?_ I thought to myself. _L will think I'm just a regular teenage girl with a regular fetish for men. And it'll be easy, seeing as I do this all the time!_

I opened up my beloved porn magazine--- only to see boobies the size of melons.

"…"

"OH MY [CENCOR] GOD!!" I screamed, throwing the magazine against the wall as if it were contaminated. "Wh-Wh-Where the hell are all the naked men!?" I suddenly realized I must have accidentally picked up Love Love _Girl_ Porn rather than Love Love _Boy_ Porn. "Aww, dammit! Now I have to wait to get my naked men…" I suddenly remembered the cameras. Great. Now I looked like a perverted psychopath. I was, indeed, a perverted psychopath, but still. Sighing, I pulled out my Suzumiya Haruhi novel and began to read quietly.

"…Hey, Nozomi, I found a camera in the vent!"

"Awesome!" I yelled. Not because Ryuk found another camera, but because Nagato just totally kicked Asakura's ass.

"Hey, Nozomi!" Sayu called. "Come downstairs! Hurry! Hideki Ryuga's latest movie is on TV!"

"FLIPPING SERIOUS!?" I rushed downstairs as fast as I could, tripping a couple times. Once in the living room, I jumped down next to Sayu and stared at the television just as Hideki Ryuga said "I will love you…always."

My little sister and I started squealing about how sexy he was when suddenly, a news report came on TV.

"Huh? The ICPO is sending 1500 agents to Japan to investigate Kira," Sayu said.

"The ICPO is stupid," I mumbled, shoving a spoonful of ice cream into my mouth.

Once the Hideki Ryuga movie was over, I got up and got a bag of chips."Nozomi," my mother said. "You're eating chips? But you just had a full tub of ice cream and six cupcakes!"

"It was only five!" I said, rolling my eyes and went upstairs.

"Damn, Nozomi. You're a pig," Ryuk said. "How can you stay so thin?"

I made a deep growling sound in the back of my throat that only Ryuk could hear.

"Hey, I should tell you, I found sixty four cameras in your room today. I guess this means I can't eat apples in here…"

Inside my room, I sat down at my desk and opened up the bag of chips, trying not to laugh. I saw the little twinkle and smiled. Meanwhile, Ryuk was screaming about how the symptoms were starting. Trying to ignore him, I did my homework quickly. Little did L know, there was a mini TV in the bag of chips, not to mention a pen and a piece of the Death Note. I would do equations with my right hand and kill criminals with my left hand. I picked out a potato chip.

_I'll take a potato chip…and EAT IT!_

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

"Are you sure about this, Ryuk?"

"Yeah! I'm positive there's no one following you!" Ryuk said, his body all twisted up from the withdrawal. "Now, hurry the hell up so I can get some goddamn apples!"

"Alright, Alright!" I sighed. "Jeez, you don't have to be an ass about it!"

Once I got to the market, I spend 3,000 yen on apples for Ryuk. Over by the bench, I carefully fed him each apple. "You know, Nozomi," he said, "Aside from telling me I can't eat apples in the house, you've been rather nice to me. Maybe I won't write your name in the Death Note after all."

I smiled up at Ryuk just as he finished the last apple. "Thanks. Kay, let's go home, Ryuk."

We left the park silently as I thought of my super awesome master plan to trick L. God, I was a genius. I mean…_Kira_, I was a genius.

DNDNDNDNDNDND

"NOZOMI! ALL THE CAMERAS HAVE BEEN REMOVED! LET'S GO GET SOME APPLES AND PARTY!" Ryuk yelled happily. "Hey…Nozomi?"

I ignored Ryuk as I silently walked downstairs.

"Oh, yeah! There still might be wire taps!"

"Nozomi!" my mother called to me. "Sweetie, you'll be late for your exams!"

"I KNOW, MOTHER! GOSH!" I yelled, grabbing an apple and my backpack before rushing outside.

"Do your best!"

"I know you don't need it, but good luck!"

I smiled to myself. Today I wasn't Kira. I was Yagami Nozomi, a soon to be To-oh student!

"Hey! Nozomi-chan!"

I turned to see Keiko, Saku-chan and Minami. "Hey, guys!" I called, rushing over to them. "Are you guys excited?"

"Yeah! We're gonna be To-oh buddies!" Saku-chan said.

"We're not in yet," Keiko said to her. "Though I'm surprised that Nozomi didn't get into Tokyo University."

"Meh, I didn't wanna go to Tokyo U." I said as we boarded the train to the school. The entire way there, we discussed yaoi and porn rather than the exams. Because, honestly, yaoi was a hell of a lot more fun to talk about than a test.

Once we got to the school gate, a man yelled "You girls there! The test starts in five minutes!"

I looked at my watch. "…SWEET MERCIFUL CRAP! IT DOES!" My friends and I ran as fast as we could to the building, when Sakurenbo suddenly tripped. "Saku-chan!"

"Go on without me!" she yelled, holding onto her bleeding elbow.

"No! We leave no man- uh, woman behind!" Minami yelled as we all picked Saku-chan up and ran.

"TWO MINUTES TIL THE TEST BEGINS."

"DEAR GOD! HURRY!"

Fortunately, we managed to make it to the room just before the doors closed. "We made it!" I yelled.

"Victory!"

We suddenly realized everyone was staring at us.

"…"

"Please take your seats, girls."

"Yes, sir…"

Unfortunately, my friends were sitting all the way on the other side of the room. Now who would Sakurenbo cheat off of? Trying to ignore the fact that she was probably screwed, I concentrated on the test.

"You! Number 162! Sit properly in your chair."

I turned around to see who the proctor was yelling at…

When I saw him.

Messy black hair. Wide eyes. A strangely handsome face….

I felt myself blush. I never blushed unless I was looking at the Special Dirty editions of Love Love Boy Porn.

_Number 162_… I thought. _I must meet him…._

DNDNDNDNDNDNDND

"This is it, girls…" I mumbled. "We're…college students."

Minami, Sakurenbo and Keiko gulped at the same time as I did.

"You're a college student," Ryuk said. "I'm so proud."

My friends, Ryuk and I entered the large college for the entrance ceremony. We all took a seat in the front, the shinigami hovering over me.

"Now for the freshman representative, Yagami Nozomi."

"Wa-hoo!"

"Go Nozomi-chan!"

"Kick some ass!"

I smiled at my friends, who were cheering loudly.

"And freshman representative, Hideki Ryuga."

I suddenly got excited. Oh. My. GOD. I knew I would be giving the speech with another student, but I didn't know it would be Hideki Ryuga! I suddenly noticed something odd about him…

This was better.

It was Number 162, my entrance exams crush. God, he was SO hot!

I walked up onto the stage with him, trying not to blush. I was going to college with him! Yayz!

I delivered the speech, followed by Hideki. Once it was over, we were walking off the stage when…"

"Yagami Nozomi," he said.

_YAY! HE KNOWS MY NAME!_

I was about to answer, trying to play it cool, when…

I tripped. Right on my face. I just lay there, not moving.

"Are you alright?" Hideki asked.

"Just leave me here to die…" I mumbled.

He took my hand and helped me up.

"God, my life sucks…" I hissed. "Hey, um…look, I would normally chicken out by now, but you're, like, the first guy I've though was cute in, like, four years. So I was wondering…you wanna go out with me?"

"Go…out with you?" he mumbled. "Hmm…You're Yagami Soichiro's daughter, with a sense of justice as good as her fathers'. Am I correct?" Hideki asked me.

**….**

Aww, crap.

"Um, yeah…" I muttered.

I sat back down, he in the seat next to me. Hideki sat with his legs pulled to his chest. "And you're now taking an interest in the Kira case, correct?"

"Yeah."

"I have important information regarding the Kira case if you promise not to tell."

I smiled at him. "I won't tell anyone. What is it?"

"I want to tell you, _I'm L_."

….

Oh, [CENCOR].

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

_A/N: This concludes another installment of Nozomi Yagami's Wonderous Life of Doom. What will happen next? Will Nozomi act cool and serene like Light? Or will she start screaming and spazzing? Or some weird combination of the two? Will Nozomi's feelings for "Hideki" get in the way? Toon in next time to find out!_


	7. Screaming, Tennis and Concussions

_A/N: Yay! Finally the seventh chapter! Sevens' a lucky number, so I'm hoping this chapter will be good! And I know you were all anticipating Nozomi to start "screaming and spazzing." I apologize, but that would make L even more suspicious of her, so she will not be doing either…in front of L, that is. (Evil smirk)_

Some of you might have noticed that the chapter name is "**Screaming, Tennis and Concussions**". I'm just here to inform you that, yes. All of those will occur in this chapter.

Nozomi Yagami's Wonderous Life of Doom

Chapter 7

Screaming, Tennis, and Concussions

_Okay. This isn't so bad. I just asked L out on a date is all…GAH! I'M TOTALLY SCREWED!!!_

"Really? If you're telling the truth, then you have nothing but my respect and admiration," I said, smiling. But on the inside, I was screaming.

"Thank you," he said.

I tried not to look completely nervous. I had on a bright smile, trying to look like a was doing nothing less than vomiting sunshine, but all I wanted to do was go jump off a building.

"I did NOT see that coming!" Ryuk gasped, beginning to laugh. "What do you intend to do about this, Nozomi?"

"Please excuse me for a moment," I mumbled, heading towards the bathroom. Once in there, I took a deep breath and screamed as loudly as I could. I used to think soundproof bathrooms were stupid, but I'm glad they really do exist. If they didn't, the entire stadium of people would be able to hear me screaming "WRAAUGH! THAT MOTHER [CENCOR] BASTARD! I'LL [CENCOR] HIM UP SO BADLY, HIS [CENCOR] WILL BE STUCK IN HIS [CENCOR] LITTLE [CENCOR]!!!! OH, THIS IS JUST [CENCOR] GREAT! [CENCOOOOOOOOOOOR]!!!!!!"

"Ooh, language, Nozomi," Ryuk cackled as I left the bathroom quietly.

"Now where were we?" I asked, sitting down next to L again, a bright smile painted on my face. "Oh, yes, you're L?"

"Yes. The reason I chose to reveal my identity to you was because I think you will be of some help on the Kira investigation," he said.

_If Hideki Ryuga is L---no, even if he isn't L…I…I can't DO anything to him! If what he's saying is true, that must mean he's already shown his face to my father. If he died right after revealing his identity to me, it would only confirm their suspicions. And it's obvious that Hideki Ryuga is only a stupid alias. Even if I get lucky and it isn't an alias, if I write his name in the Death Note, I might accidentally think of Hideki Ryuga the pop idol. If Hideki Ryuga the pop idol dies, then that would also confirm their suspicions. Does he already suspect me of being Kira? Why else would he tell a detective's daughter that he's L? Does he still suspect the people that Raye Penber was investigation? That must be it…Wait. I'll look too freaked out. I just need to clear my mind…_

And suddenly, the melon boobies from the porn I accidentally bought the previous month popped into my head.

"God dammit!" I hissed under my breath.

Hideki turned to me. "Is something wrong?"

"Um, no!" I said nervously. "I'm just, um, PMSing!"

…

_Wait, why the hell did I say that?!_

He didn't seem to be fazed by the random information on my womanness and turned back to the stage. I sighed. This would be a long ceremony.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

"God, I didn't think that would be so interesting," Ryuk said to me as we exited the school.

"Hey, Nozomi!"

Aww, frick.

Ryuk chuckled. "Hey, Nozomi, there's your new boyfriend."

"Shut the [CENCOR] up, Ryuk!" I hissed quietly. I suddenly smiled and turned to the strange man I had had a crush on no less than an hour ago. "Hi, Hideki!"

"Nice meeting you," he said.

"You too."

He went over to a car. But not just a car---a flipping limo.

"Nice…car…" I managed to say, slightly twitching in anger. So he was my mortal enemy, was hot, _and_ had an awesome car!? Where the hell was the justice!?

"I'll see you around campus," Hideki said from the back seat of the limo.

"Uh, yeah. Take care," I said with a wave as the car sped down the street.

"Oh, I hate him. That sexy son of a bitch could rot in the fire pits of hell for all I care," I whispered bitterly.

"If you hate him so much, then why did you just call him sexy?" Ryuk cackled.

I blushed. "Shut up! He's _so_ not sexy!"

"Then why were you yelling 'Take me, 162! Take me!' last night in your sleep?" Ryuk asked, howling with laughter.

I ignored the shinigami. I ignored him on the train. And I ignored him when I got home. After trudging up the steps to my room, I locked the door and sat at my desk.

"Hey…Nozomi?" Ryuk said.

"…"

"Nozomi?"

"…"

"Nozo-"

"Dammit! He got me!" I yelled, slamming my fist down on the table. "I've never been so humiliated in my life!"

"Hey, why don't you just do the shinigami eye deal? Then you can kill him, no problem!"

"Yeah, but what if he isn't L!?" I snapped at Ryuk. "Then that'll just show the real L that I _am_ Kira! God, I can't believe I thought I loved that sick son of a bitch no more than two hours ago!"

And I just broke down.

"What? Hey, Nozomi! Aww, crap! I didn't mean to make you cry!" Ryuk said. "God, how do I turn you off!?"

It was true. I thought I did love Hideki Ryuga. I know it sounds stupid, but the moment I saw him at the entrance exams, I just…I couldn't stop thinking about him. I tried my hardest to remember his face because I didn't want it to fade from my mind. I didn't even write very many names in the Death Note because I was fantasizing about him too much. I didn't care about the Death Note at the time, all I cared about was 162!

But now…

I wanted him to rot in the fire pits of hell.

The thought of him dying made me laugh. I was laughing even harder than Ryuk did half the time. "No, this is perfect! Hideki Ryuga wants my friendship? I'll give it to him, then! Then one day, when he trusts me and I'll get the information I want! But for now…" I looked at myself in the mirror. My eyes were sparkling red with evil. "Let the games begin, Hideki Ryuga. We'll be…_bestest friends_."

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

_Tennis…that weirdo wants me to play tennis? _

"Good luck Nozomi-chan!" Minami called from the sidelines.

"Kick his sexy ass!" Saku-chan yelled. I rolled my eyes. Saku-chans' crush on Hideki Ryuga was getting to be a bit retarded. She didn't know he was my mortal enemy, of course. If she did, she would totally back off.

Keiko merely clapped.

"I'll admit, Hideki, I was a bit surprised when you asked me to play tennis," I said, adjusting my pink sports bra and sports skirt. "I'll bet you didn't know how good I was, though." I winked.

"I won't worry about it," he said, walking out to the court with me. "I was actually the junior British champion when I was younger."

"Oh. Are you from the United Kingdom?" I asked.

"I lived in England for about five years, but that won't really say anything about L's identity."

Crap!

Once we were on opposite sides of the court, Hideki served the ball beautifully. It was fast and steady. Ryuk actually jumped out of the way of the ball, even though he knew it would just go through him.

"Wow! That was flipping sweet, man!" I yelled, forgetting I hated him.

That was a very interesting match that day. He got a point. I got a point. He missed the ball. I missed the ball. I was beginning to wonder what he expected of me. If I won the game, it might be more of a suspicion. But it'll be obvious if I throw the match. But either way, I wasn't going to let

Him

Win!

My tennis racket and the ball collided, sending the yellow sphere over to Hideki. He tried to hit it, but it went past with great speed.

"Four to four," the referee yelled. "Yagami Nozomi to serve!"

I got the ball and smirked. I might have been insane and clumsy everywhere else, but I was flipping amazing on the tennis court.

_You think that by this game of tennis, we'll somehow be closer. No way in hell, man. If I want to defeat you…what do I do?_

And that's when it hit me.

No, seriously. The tennis ball actually hit me. Square in the forehead, actually. I fell on my back, feeling something wet near my head.

"Oh, crap, Nozomi! You're bleeding!" Ryuk yelled.

I was wincing in pain as I suddenly felt someone feel my pulse before holding me. "Are you alright?"

"H…Hideki…" I mumbled. "Owwwwie…it hurts like hell…"

"Someone get the nurse!" I heard Keiko yell. "She's bleeding!"

"If I die, it's all your fault," I whispered to Hideki bitterly.

"You won't die. I promise. Can you see how many fingers I'm holding up?"

I winced, trying to see clearly. "Um…your hand is shaped like a giraffe…" And everything went black.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

"Nozomi-chan?…are you awake?"

I groaned before turning on my side. "Whaaaaat?" I whined.

"Okay. That's good. At least you're alive…"

I suddenly recognized the voice. "Hideki…" I mumbled, turning to look at him. I was in the infirmary bed, an ice pack on my forehead. "You…you bastard! You hit me with the frigging tennis ball! Why the hell would you do that!? And where are my friends?! You didn't kill them with tennis balls too, did you?!"

"Um…in order…it was an accident. Your friends had to go back to class. And no," he said.

I sighed, throwing the ice pack off my head. "Sorry. I just feel like crap." I extended my hand. "Congratulations on winning."

"What? You won, Nozomi."

I raised an eyebrow. "Huh? But the tennis ball gave me a concussion."

"Yes, it did," Hideki said. "But the ball bounced off your forehead to the other side of the court; my side. Seeing as I was trying to make sure I hadn't killed you, I couldn't get the ball. So, yes. You won."

"Sweet!" I got up from the bed and straitened my top. "Come on. Let's take a walk."

"Um, the nurse said you should rest for at least another two hours…"

"Screw it! I feel fine!" I reassured him. But I didn't tell him that Scooby Doo and Napoleon Dynamite were standing behind him. Yeah. I was a little delusional. I suppose that's what happens when you get a concussion from a tennis ball.

_Note to self: NEVER play tennis with Hideki again…_

So we left the nurses' office and went outside the building. The cherry blossoms were in full bloom and the wind was blowing, so the petals were floating everywhere. It was so beautiful, I almost felt like grabbing Hideki's hand.

Almost.

"Hey, I'm hungry. Wanna go get some food?" I asked him.

"You're always hungry," Ryuk mumbled from behind me.

"Okay," Hideki answered. "I'm sure you want to ask me a few questions. But before that, I should tell you…I suspect you of being Kira."

Correction from earlier in the chapter. _Now_ I was screwed.

"What? You think I'm Kira?" I asked with a chuckle. "But that's retarded! You know I'm far too clumsy and dumb to pull of being Kira."

"Oh, dumb is something you're not, Nozomi," he said, which somehow made me blush. "And once I can be certain you're not Kira, I'd like you to help me with the investigation."

"Um…okay…"

We only had to walk a block before reaching the coffee shop I had in mind. I didn't like it for the coffee. I liked it for the awesome cake that was only 200yen a piece. God, I loved cake. I loved all sweets. Once in the coffee shop, it appeared to me that Ryuga enjoyed sugar as well.

"…And I'll take regular black coffee, extra sugar," I continued after Ryuga had ordered. "And a piece of white cake with a lot of frosting. You want a piece too, Ryuga?"

"Oh, certainly. Thank you."

After the coffee and cake arrived, I also realized that Ryuga was totally OCD. He stacked the little packs of creamer once they were empty. It took all my willpower as not to knock it down.

"God, I loooooove cake," I hissed happily as I continued to devour the delicacy.

"Nozomi, you're starting to look carnivorous," Ryuk said.

"Yes. I enjoy cake as well," Ryuga said, taking a bite. That was the one and only thing I liked about Hideki Ryuga. No matter how unladylike I seemed to be, I was still Nozomi to him. He obviously didn't think less of me when I ate that cake like it was my last meal ever, and he didn't think more of me because I was smart. I was just Nozomi to him. That was never going to change. You know, unless he decided to drop the suspicion of me being Kira.

Once I was done with my piece of cake, I glanced around. "This is why I like this place. It's so pretty and quiet. And we're in a place where no one can hear us, or make a fuss about the way you sit."

"I don't sit like this because I want to, Nozomi, but because I have to," He said, sipping his coffee. "If I don't, my deductive skills will decrease by at least forty percent."

"Hmm…" I suddenly remembered what he had called me when I was in the nurse's office. "Hey, did you call me Nozomi-chan earlier?"

He looked up at me. "Oh, yes. You're father refers to you as Nozomi-chan all the time, I suppose I just got used to it. Would you rather I not call you that?"

"No, it's fine," I said. "But only if I can call you Hideki-kun, okay?"

"Alright, then," he agreed. "So, what did you want to ask me about?"

"Oh, it's nothing," I said. Seriously. I forgot what I was going to ask him. "Let's just talk about whatever you want."

"Well, you're under no obligation to do this, but would you mind taking a test of you reasoning deductive skills?"

"Sure? Why not? It sounds like fun." It most certainly did _not_ sound fun.

Hideki-kun handed me three photographs. He explained what they were, but of course I already knew. I did write them, after all. I made it look as if I was carefully looking them over. "Hmm…it appears that Kira made a message in these, as if to mock you. See, if you arrange the photos this way, it looks like it says 'L, do you know? Gods of death love apples.' But if you put it the way the numbers on the back say, it would be 'L, do you know? Love apples, gods of death.' That wouldn't make much sense, would it?"

"That's incorrect."

…

"What?"

"You see, Nozomi-chan, there were actually four pictures."

That lying bastard!

He pulled out a picture that said 'have red hands' at the top.

"Well, yeah, but I had only three pictures to work with, so my deduction was perfect!" I said, trying not to snap at him.

"No, it wasn't," he continued. "You never considered that there might be a fourth picture. You knew the message with the three pictures was incomplete, yet you still decided to go with the three. I wonder why that is…"

_Frick! He's trying to trick me! If I keep falling for this, I'll be doing nothing less than organizing my own death!_

"You got me there," I said with a chuckle. "I didn't think of that."

"Nozomi, if you were me and you were faced with the possibility that someone was Kira, how would you go about establishing their guilt or innocence?"

"…"

"Well, if I were you, I'd probably have a [CENCOR], so it's kind of hard to think like you."

"…"

"Right. Sorry."

"Nozomi, now I am three percent sure you're Kira," he said. "But even if you did end up being Kira, it would still be a benefit to have you on the task force. Do you know why I say that?"

_God, what's with the questions?_

"I don't know. Maybe you think I'd be a help with the investigation?" I said with a shrug. "Or maybe I'd admit that I'm Kira. If I was, I mean. But, then again, I don't know if you yourself aren't Kira. It hardly seems fair to only have one of us be a suspect. I would probably be convinced that you're L if my father were to confirm it. If you can't do that, then I'm afraid I won't be able to help you."

Hideki-kun was about to answer me, when his cell phone rang. "Excuse me," he said, answering the phone. "Yes?"

Mine suddenly rang as well. "Yo?"

"Nozomi-chan!" Hideki-kun said. "You're father…"

"Had a heart attack…" I finished in a small voice.

My day was just getting suckier and suckier, wasn't it?

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

_A/N: Thank you for reading the seventh installment of Nozomi Yagami's Wonderous Life of Doom. Next time, a second Kira has been discovered! How will Nozomi respond to who she calls "Beta Kira"? Find out next time!_

_PS: thanks for all the kind reviews! :3_


	8. The Sucky Task Force

_A/N: Wow…eight chapters in five days…heh heh. _

_So, anyway, today is November 5__th__. If anyone watched the news last night, everyone would know that our new President is OBAMA!!! This chapters' dedicated to that excellent man! But, truthfully, I couldn't care less who won, but even so! As Nozomi would probably say in a situation like this…_

_Ba-ROCK on!_

Nozomi Yagami's Wonderous Life of Doom

Chapter 8

The Sucky Task Force

Well, that was certainly one hell of a night.

First off, as you recall, Hideki-kun gave me a flipping concussion when he hit me in the head with a tennis ball. Then he got closer to finding out that I was Kira. Then my father had a heart attack. After that I found out that Hideki-kun, was, in fact L. Oh, yeah, and I pretty much joined the flipping task force that was trying to find me.

Yeah. My life was suckish.

Two days later, I was quietly sitting in my room, writing my awesome Suzumiya Haruhi fanfic while stuffing a piece of cake into my mouth.

"God, how many pieces is that?" Ryuk said in awe.

"Pieces? Please, Ryuk, this is my third full cake of the day," I said, shoveling another bite into my mouth.

_Yuki looked back at Kyon, a sparkle to her usually dull eyes. "Kyon-kun, if I were ever able to feel human emotions, I am 103 percent positive I would be in love with you. But we cannot. Suzumiya Haruhi would get her jealous feelings once again and might destroy the universe. Kyon-kun, please tell me…could you ever love me?"_

_Kyon stared at Yuki, not knowing how to say it. "Nagato…I don't know. I…I think I do love you! It's just…I also think I love Asahina-san. And Haruhi? I don't want to admit it, but…I'm positive I love Haruhi."_

_"Kyon…"_

_They both turned to see a figure in the doorway with short brown hair._

_"Haruhi…" Kyon mumbled._

_"I…I don't…" the brunette immediately ran out of the room._

_"Haruhi!" Kyon chased after her, leaving Nagato alone in the S.O.S. Brigade club room. After running around the school for nearly twenty minutes, he was able to catch up to Haruhi. He gripped her wrists tightly in his hands so she wouldn't run away. "Haruhi…you're annoying and you're weird and you have to be about the biggest bitch I've ever met, but…I love you."_

_"…Kyon…" Haruhi muttered. Her teary eyes turned cold. "Yeah, and you also love Nagato and Mikuru-chan! How the hell do you expect me to love you when…"_

_"Haruhi, shut up!" Kyon snapped. "If I had to chose between you, Nagato, and Asahina-san…I'd pick you any day!" he leaned in to kiss her when suddenly…_

The page was suddenly covered in cake.

"…"

"NOOOOOOOOOOO!" I screamed. "MY FANFIC! MY PRECIOUS FANFIC! IT'S RUINED! RUUUUINED!"

"God, you are so retarded…" Ryuk mumbled, playing Mario Cart on my TV. "Hey, what's the point in this video game? It's getting sort of boring. Got any Zelda games?"

I nodded. "Yeah. The Wind Waker and Ocarina of Time."

"Sweet!" Ryuk turned off the video game and was about to plug in the Game Cube when suddenly…

"Wait! Don't change it!" I commanded. There, on the TV screen, was a white screen with "KIRA" written in red letters. "What the hell…"

"…The last thing I want to do is kill the innocent. I hate evil, and love justice," a dark, synthesized voice said. "I've always thought of the police as allies, not enemies. I intend to create a perfect world. A world that is free of evil. If you agree to join me in my mission, I know we can make it happen. And as long as no one tries to catch me, I promise the innocent will not die. Even if you don't believe me, all I ask is that you publicize your views in the media. If you can do that, I will not kill the innocent. I will create a better world. Say goodbye to the world you now live in. Soon, we will live in a world ruled by honest and kind people. Try to imagine it. A world where the police and I will…"

"Good job, Nozomi!" Ryuk said.

"I…I didn't…" I mumbled.

"…All I need now is the response from the police. You must decide whether or not to create a better world for all of us. Please announce your decision on the six-o'-clock news in four days. I have prepared two videos. One if the answer is yes, and another if the answer is no. I await your answer."

And the screen went back to the regular news.

I smirked. "Kira's so awesome! That was so cool!"

"But…you're Kira," Ryuk said.

"…"

My smile grew larger. "Oh. So I am. It looks like another shinigami has ventured into the human world, Ryuk. These next few days will be fun."

…

"Yeah. Whatever. Ready for me to kick your ass at Zelda?"

"Bring it on, shinigami! Bring it on!"

" I call Ganon!" Ryuk said as we got down in front of my television and turned the game on.

"No, let me be Ganon!" I said.

"No way! I called it! You can be Link."

"That pussy? NO! I want Ganon!" I yelled. "Come on, Ryuk, it's MY game!"

"Yeah, and I'm a god of death who could easily kill you!"

"…"

"Fine," I pouted, choosing Link as my character. Suddenly, my cell phone rang."Whaaaaat?" I answered in a whiny voice.

"Nozomi-chan," came my fathers' voice. "Ryuzaki wants you to join the Task Force. If you want to, come here immediately." He hung up.

"…"

"Where the hell is 'here'?"

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

"I'm glad that you've decided to join us, Nozomi-chan."

I shook L's hand, smiling. "No problem, Hideki-kun."

"I'm afraid I'll have to ask you to call me 'Ryuzaki' from now on," he said.

"What? But Hideki-kun makes you sound cute!" I pouted.

"Being a bitchy little suck-up, are we?" Ryuk cackled.

"I'm Aihara," the man with the afro said.

"I'm Asahi," dad said.

"And I'm Matsui."

"Shut up, Matsuda," I sighed. "I've known you since you since I was sixteen. I've been calling you Matsu for two years now and I intend to continue."

"Right…okay…"

Yeah. Matsuda and I go way back. It was barely even his third week as an officer when I first met him. It was the first 'Bring Your Kid to Work Day' at the police station and I couldn't find my father. I ran into Matsuda. While he was trying to help me find my father, we got to talking and became pretty damn good friends. I knew "Aihara", too, as Aizawa. Aizawa used to call Matsu an idiot whenever he messed up, so he got a _lot_ of crotch kickings from me. Same went for any other officer who decided it was a good idea to make fun of Matsuda. And whenever I would go down to the police station, I usually went to see Matsuda rather than my father. I constantly called him adorable and cute, because…well, he totally is. But I didn't think of him as 'cute' as in pervy 'cute', but just as plain adorable. If I ever had a big brother, I'd want him to be Matsuda (or Napoleon Dynamite. Either way, it'd be totally kick-ass).

"Alright, I'll have you start going through all the information we already have and take a look at these videos," Ryuzaki said.

I looked at the big pile of files. "But that sounds like…work."

"It is work."

_Had these people no souls?_

"Fine," I groaned, sitting down in the chair in front of the television.

"Alright. Let's begin, shall we?"

I silently watched the second Kira message I had only watched an hour previous. As I watched it, I suddenly realized…

"Dammit!" I yelled, jumping up from the chair.

"What is it? Did you figure something out?" Ryuzaki asked.

"What? No! I forgot to record Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu on DVR!" I yelled, pulling out my cell phone.

"Nozomi-chan hasn't changed a bit," I heard Matsuda say.

"Hello?"

"Sayu!" I said into the telephone. "I need you to put Suzumiya Haruhi on recording, okay? …What? What the hell do you mean you're already recording Ojamajo Do Re Mi and Tenshi ni Narumon at the same time!? Suzumiya Haruhi is far more important! What…No! Sayu, you better not! …NO! YOU LITTLE WHORE!!" I suddenly realized everyone staring at me. "Um…just record it or I'll cut off all your hair while you're sleeping. M'kay, bye." I hung up. "…So where were we?"

After watching the second Kira video a third time, L asked me "so, did you figure anything out?"

After looking into his eyes for a few seconds, I realized this was just another one of his tests. "You'll think I'm insane, but I think…" I got up from the chair and did a generic anime pose. "THIS IS NOT KIRA AT ALL!"

"Wow! You're good, Nozomi!"

"Thanks, Matsu!" I said with a smile. "But, anyway, I think this may be…oh, I don't know…a _second_ Kira. This Kira obviously has the ability to kill a person with only a face."

"That's very good, Nozomi, as we were also suspecting a second Kira."

"No flipping way! _What_ a _coincidence_!"

"You're looking too fake," Ryuk said. "Smile more, you'll look dumber! They won't suspect you then!"

_Oh, God, Ryuk's just being a suck up so I'll buy him more apples_…

"Wait, if you knew that too, then…that was just another one of your tests, you bastard!"

"Nozomi!" my father snapped.

"What? He _is_!" I whined.

"My intention was not to trick you, Nozomi," Ryuzaki said, obviously unfazed by the crude name I just called him, "But if I was the only one to suspect a second Kira, that wouldn't be too convincing, now would it? But, since we're both on the same page, I suggest we try to catch this second Kira. Perhaps we should create our own Kira video to trick him…"

"Ooh!" I said, my hand shooting up in the air. "Speaking of video, can I use that voice synthesizer to do Darth Vader?"

"Um, I don't really think this is the time for-"

"I WANNA DO IT!"

"…"

L sighed. "Fine."

"Yay!" I rushed over to the little microphone and turned it to 'synthesize'. "Luke, I am your father," I said into it and immediately began to giggle. "This thing rocks!"

"Um, Ryuzaki, are you sure Nozomi is…you know…_smart_ enough to be Kira?" I heard Aizawa mumble.

"Nozomi is very brilliant, just very…optimistic," Ryuzaki said. "Not exactly the brightest bulb when it comes to social skills, but I figure that's the kind of person Kira to be."

I continued to play with the synthesizer, making it look as if I wasn't listening.

"Ryuzaki, I know this isn't the time, but I know my daughter," dad said. "And I don't think she is Kira."

"You also didn't think she got a kick out of looking at naked men."

I proceeded to laugh my ass off. "Okay, that was fun!" I said, pretending to be laughing at the synthesizer. "But, now, where were we?"

The four men stared at me like I had just shot a bazooka at a baby seal.

"Um…yes…" L said. "Anyway, we should make a video to look like the real Kira sent it out to fool the second Kira. And, Nozomi… I would like you to play the part of the real Kira."

"Sweet!" I hissed. "Ooh! Ooh! Can I use my Darth Vader voice for the video?"

"I guess so-"

"No! Wait!" I grabbed the synthesizer again. "You gonna eat your tots?" I said into it, laughing again. "No! I wanna be Napoleon Dynamite! That would be so cool! I mean, seriously, Kira with a Napoleon Dynamite voice! Can I?"

"…"

"You may be right, Aihara…" Ryuzaki mumbled. "But, at any rate, Nozomi, could you come up with a script in time for tonights' news?"

"Hell yeah I can!" I exclaimed, pulling a piece of paper out of my backpack. "Gentlemen, prepare to be amazed!"

And I wrote. I wrote for two whole hours before Ryuzaki said it was time to record it. "Here you go, good sir!" I said, handing him the papers.

"'Kyon and Yuki began to spoon just as Mikuru came in with the tea…'" Ryuzaki read.

"Wait!" I grabbed the papers from him. "Sorry. That's my Suzumiya Haruhi screenplay. _Here's_ the Kira script."

Ryuzaki took the real one and read it over. "Well, now. This is very good. But according to this…you're commanding the second Kira to kill me."

"Well, yeah," I shrugged, "Because I wanna make it believable. If I say 'hold off on killing L,' the second Kira will totally know something's going on. But, feel free to change anything…and crush a girls' soul…" I said with a pouty face.

"…"

"Fine. Nothing will be changed. I'll leave it to you now, Aihara."

"I know Aizawa too, Ryuzaki," I said. "I used to kick him in the balls whever he made fun of Matsuda. Yeah. Good times. Gooood tiiiimes."

Two hours later, I sat on my bed, eager to hear my synthesized Napoleon Dynamite/Kira on TV.

"We have a shocking video from someone who claims to be Kira…"

"Eeeee! Here it comes, Ryuk!" The screen changed to gold with 'KIRA'' written on it.

"I am Kira."

My smile faded away. That wasn't my Napoleon Dynamite voice. It was my script, but not my synthesized voice. I suddenly saw through the voice that was currently playing as the voice of the person who I hated the most. "WRAAAUGH! I'M GOING TO MURDER THAT SON OF A BITCH!" I screamed. "I worked hard trying to get the Napoleon Dynamite voice perfectly! Awww…" I sat on my bed and sulked.

"…You know, we never got to play Zelda earlier," Ryuk pointed out.

"…"

"Ganon's mine!"

"Crap!"

Days later, at the hotel in which we held the investigation meetings, we received a message from Watari.

"Ryuzaki, we have a reply from the second Kira."

"Oh, great. He probably wants to kill us because the Kira video we sent out wasn't funny enough," I pouted.

"Nozomi-chan, I already said that the voice you did was too childish to be Kira," Ryuzaki said.

_Oh, he's telling ME how Kira should be? Jackass…_

"And it wouldn't sound believable with you Napoleon Bonapart…"

"Dynamite! Napoleon _Bonapart_ was short and fat! Napoleon _Dynamite_ is…well…EXCELLENT!" I did a guitar pose.

Everyone stared at me.

"…What? Hasn't anyone seen Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure?" I sighed. "Just show us the reply, Watari-san…"

We all gathered around the laptop, Ryuzaki sitting in the chair in front of it. The video began to play.

"Kira," came the synthesized voice. "Thank you for your reply. I will follow your orders and do as you say. I wanna meet you like, SO bad!"

I suddenly realized something. This second Kira wasn't a grown man like I had thought. It was a party-boy teenager. I could tell by the way he said that last sentence.

"Um, sorry about that," he said. "But I do want to meet you. I don't think you have the Eyes."

"What's this eye stuff he's talking about?" Aizawa asked.

"Um, well, this is KIRA we're talking about!" I said nervously. "The dudes' insane! He's probably high on heroin or something!"

_Damn it! What the hell is he thinking, talking about shinigami in a public message? There's only one explanation….It's worse then I feared…the seond Kira is…is…BLONDE!_

(TO THOSE READERS WHO ARE BLONDE, THE AUTHOR HAS NOTHING AGAINST YOU AND DOES NOT BELIEVE YOUR HAIR COLOR AFFECTS YOUR THINKING CAPACITY…OKAY, MAYBE A LITTLE.)

"When we meet," the second Kira continued, "we can confirm our identities by showing each other our shinigami."

_Oh, frick…_

"AAAAAH!" I suddenly realized Ryuzaki had started screaming, his hands up in the air. After a good, I don't know, FORTY SECONDS of screaming, he fell over in the chair.

"Sh-Shinigami?" he mumbled. "Am I supposed to believe such things exist?"

And I laughed. "What? That's the only reason why you screamed? You're a [CENCOR] psycho, man."

"Nozomi!" My father snapped. "Apologize right now!"

"What am I, _four_!?" I demanded. "I don't have to! Admit it, you guys think that was a little weird."

"Well…kinda…"

"Shut up, Matsuda," Aizawa hissed.

The screen on the laptop suddenly turned to snow.

"Um…sorry," I finally said when the room was silent. "I guess that was a little bitchy-"

"Nozomi!"

"Fine, _insensitive_ of me," I groaned. "But, really, listen to yourself. There's no such thing as shinigami. That's as retarded as believing in Santa."

Matsuda turned to me with wide eyes. "Wh-what?"

"I mean, um, hypothetically," I said. "You know if there was no Santa, which of course, there _totally_ is!"

"You may be right, Nozomi," Ryuzaki said. "But I recall Kira having a prisoner write a message about shinigami before."

"Then maybe this is the same person!" suggested my father.

"I doubt it," I said. "If this was the real Kira, why would she bother answering our message?"

"Why do you keep referring to Kira as a 'she'?"

"IT'S A POSSIBILITY, DAMMIT!"

"Nozomi's right," Ryuzaki mumbled, pinching the bridge of his nose. For some reason, that seemed _really_ hot to me. "The real Kira would have no reason to reply to the video we sent out. Kira could have just used 'shinigami' to confuse us. Besides, if it was Kira, he still would have commanded I be killed."

"Yeah!" I said. "My thoughts exactly!" In reality, though, I really didn't think off all that. But the smarter I looked, the better! "Besides, the word 'shinigami' could mean their ability to kill. If Kira and Beta Kira-"

"Beta Kira?"

"…"

"What? I like it!"

"Stick to second Kira."

"Daaaamn," I hissed. "Anyway, if Kira and the second Kira were to 'show their shinigami' to each other, that could possibly mean show each other their power to kill."

"Yes, that's exactly right," Ryuzaki said, pushing the chair back to place. He sat down in that strange way again as if nothing ever happened. And he suddenly began forming a plan, one I didn't really listen to (as usual) and decided to just nod ever few seconds.

"…And sent a second video out on Sakura TV tonight."

That caught my attention.

"I wanna be Kira again!" I said. "I wanna do my Kira/Napoleon Dynamite thing sooooo bad!"

"Would you just give that up?" Aizawa snapped.

"Oh, bite me!"

"What the hell did you say!?"

"Nozomi! Aizawa!" L said in a rather snappish tone.

"Sorry, Ryuzaki…"

"Alright. Nozomi, I guess you can be Kira, but no Dynamite voice, okay?"

I sighed. "Fine. You're no fun…" I suddenly turned my ears off once again as Ryuzaki continued to explain. I was picturing my awesome screenplay.

"…Is that clear?"

"Yes."

"Yes."

"Yes, Ryuzaki."

"Um…" I mumbled. "Uh…yes?"

"Alright. Now, Nozomi, you go get the chlorine and the ducks."

"…"

"Wait, what?"

"I could tell you weren't listening," Ryuzaki sighed. "So, let's begin…"

"What can I get you, ma'am?"

"A piece of chocolate cake, a piece of white cake, carrot cake, velvet cake, and a nutmeg brownie. Also, a cup of coffee with so damn many fake sugars the coffee itself gets cancer."

"All to go?"

"What? No! I'm having all that stuff here!" I sighed as the waitress walked away. "My life is totally sucking at this point…" I mumbled to Ryuk. The shinigami looked past me and laughed. "What's with you, Ryuk?"

"Oh, nothing," he said, obviously lying. "That waitress just spilled boiling hot coffee on herself, it's really hilarious, you should take a look…"

"A strawberry sundae, please," I heard a male voice say. The voice was super sexy and I wanted to turn around to see who the face belonged to, but I was too depressed to even scream about how my cake was so late.

I sipped my coffee when the waitress brought it over. "DAMN YOU! IT'S TOO BLACK! HOW MANY FAKE SUGARS DID YOU PUT IN THERE!?"

"S-Seven!" the waitress said nervously.

"ONLY SEVEN!?" I added eleven more packs of sugar to the coffee. "…Alright. That's better." The waitress walked away fearfully. "Hey, Ryuk, we're in a hell of a situation, aren't we?"

"What's this 'we' crap?"

"Fine. Me," I said. "I really think I'm starting to like Ryuzaki, though I know he's my mortal enemy. I try to erase all thoughts of him from my mind unless he's being killed in those thoughts, but I…I don't know. Earlier today, I thought he looked…_hot_. That isn't like me, Ryuk! I know I'm a pervert, but…I think I actually _want_ to be friends with Ryuzaki."

"Yeah. And the fact that there's a second Kira that could totally get you killed shouldn't be any concern whatsoever."

I glared up at Ryuk. "Just screw it," I sighed. "I'm getting tired. Wanna go home and watch Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure?"

"Again?"

"Yeah."

"EXCELLENT!" the shinigami and I exclaimed and did the guitar pose. What a day that was.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

_A/N: Next time, Nozomi will go to Aoyama with Matsuda and her friends, and one of those friends just happens to take a liking to Matsu. And Nozomi will finally meet the second Kira! Who will it be? Who IS the second Kira? And I know all of you are wondering whether it'll be Misa as a lesbian or a guy. But you'll have to wait til next time to find out! ^_~_


	9. The Second Kira

_A/N: As I promised in the last chapter, Nozomi will finally meet the second Kira in this chapter. I know you're all wondering if Misa will return as a lesbian, or I will change her sex like I did with Light? You'll just have to see for yourself!!_

Nozomi Yagami's Wonderous Life of Doom

Chapter 9

The Sucky Task Force

"Nozomi? Are you paying attention?"

"Yeah, go ahead…" I mumbled, not looking up from Super Mario World on my DS.

Ryuzaki sighed. "Listening isn't really your style, is it?"

I glared at him. "And I guess being normal isn't your style either?"

"…"

"Touché."

I sighed. "So, what've you been going on about?"

"The second Kira sent us a tape and a journal."

"Really, now?" I took the journal out of Ryuzaki's hands and looked it over.

"So? What do you think?" he asked.

"Well, it appears that the second Kira wants to meet Kira at the baseball game right here," I said. "But if we put this journal on the news, it would create a panic and the game would be canceled. All in all, the second Kira is a real fricking dumbass."

"Yes, you may be right."

"…"

"May? Dude, it's flipping obvious!"

Ryuzaki went over to a chair, sat down in that weird way, and popped a chocolate into his mouth. "To be honest, it's so stupid. I'm not even sure how to deal with this whole situation anymore."

I bit my tongue, trying not to laugh. When he talked with a mouth full of chocolate, it sounded like he had a cold or was having an orgasm.

"If we make this message public, we'll be forced to cancel the game," he continued.

"But won't canceling the game make him angry?"

I commenced to zone out like I had been doing so much lately. God, Ryuzaki was so _boring_ when he talked. The task force had been working on this case nearly 24/7 for the past week, and I was so flipping tired of listening to him go on and on and on and on and on and on and on. All I wanted to do was get a tall glass of sake, curl up in bed, read a few yaoi mangas, and then watch Suzumiya Haruhi before playing video games with Ryuk for seventeen hours strait.

"…So we should probably have some of you around there at the time. Nozomi, you and Aizawa should go."

"But I dun' wanna go with that bastard," I whined, not caring that Aizawa was nearly two feet away. "I wanna go with Matsu. Matsu's the only person here I can remotely stand around here."

"Uh, okay, I should go," Matsuda said. "I'll blend in more, you know? And if Aizawa makes Nozomi-chan angry, she'll probably hit him in public."

"I _would_," I said with a smile before glaring at Aizawa. He glared back.

"Alright," Ryuzaki agreed. "Matsuda and Nozomi will go."

"…"

"Wait, where are we going?"

'Sigh…'

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

"…Okay, we'll talk more about our trips tomorrow."

"M'kay. Bye, Matsu!" I embraced Matsuda in a tight hug.

"I'm only gonna see you tomorrow," he laughed.

"Yeah, but I never see you anymore," I pouted. "And you're the only person here who doesn't think I'm Kira."

"Yeah. No offence, but I really don't think you could pull of Kira. Sorry."

_Oh, THANKS Matsu_.

"And I know Ryuzaki's hoping to prove your innocence," Matsuda said.

"Meh, I don't care what he thinks," I sighed. "Well, bye! See you tomorrow!"

"Bye. Careful getting home."

"You too!" I crawled in the taxi, waving to Matsuda as the car drove off. Yeah. I liked Matsu a lot. Not like _like_ like, but he was just so damn cute, I couldn't help it!

"Boyfriend?" the cab driver asked.

"What? Oh no, he's just my super awesome-tastic friend."

"_Right_…"

"Shove it!"

At home, Ryuk and I were playing Super Smash Bros. Melee, he Marth and I Princess Peach, talking about the days that awaited us.

"So, is Aoyama cool?" he asked.

"Meh, I guess," I shrugged, totally kicking his ass with Peach, "You're gonna be hovering over me the whole day anyway, so you won't do much."

"Crap…"

"What? You wanted to go somewhere?"

"No, it's just that I'm losing to a flipping princess who gets kidnapped every time Mario turns around!"

KO: PEACH WINS!

"Ready for me to kick your ass with Princess Zelda now?" I asked with a smirk.

"OH, YOU'RE ON!"

"Nozomi!" my mother called. "Are you home?"

"One minute," I sighed to Ryuk, putting the game on pause and going over to the door. I opened it and stuck my head out. "Yeah."

"Well, you're home late," mom said. "What've you been doing?"

I panicked. "Um, I was, uh, hanging out with my boyfriend! …Wait…"

Ryuk laughed. "That's the biggest lie of the century! Not even your own mother would believe that!"

"EEEEEEEE!" Sayu rushed up the stairs. "Did I hear right? You finally got a boyfriend?"

"Uh…yeah…" I lied.

"Well, what's his name?!" she demanded.

"Um…Ryuzaki!" _Wait,_ _what? Why the hell did I say that?_

"Ooh! What a cool name! Can we meet him? Huh? Huh?" Sayu asked.

"Uh, no, he's not exactly a people person…"

Ryuk laughed again. "Ain't that the truth…"

I glared at him. "But, yeah. He doesn't exactly like being around people. And why are you bugging me so much, is it so shocking that I have a boyfriend?"

"Yes."

I scowled. "Well, why don't you get a boyfriend? You're fourteen already, dear god Sayu…"

"At least I'm not an eighteen-year-old virgin! In this day and age, that's really sad," she said.

"Well, at least my IQ is higher than a dog!"

"Whatever! My IQ is 145, and you know it!"

"Uh, girls, please calm down," mom said. "Nozomi, are you going to eat?"

"No. I'm full from room service at the hotel," I sighed, going back into my room.

"Hotel!? I'll bet you're just saying that! I'll bet you two were just studying!"

"For your information, we were having sweet FLOOR sex, thank you very much!" I yelled.

"Yay! My sister's a woman now!"

I sighed, turning back to the video game. And I suddenly realized…

"Oh, god, did I just call Ryuzaki my boyfriend?" I gasped.

"You also said you had 'sweet floor sex'," Ryuk said.

"Oh god, how the hell am I going to face him tomorrow?" I groaned, smacking my forehead, the words 'floor sex' ringing in my head. And suddenly, no matter how much I didn't want to, I pictured L naked. "GAH! IT BURNS!!" I screamed, proceeding to roll around on my carpet for the next two hours.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

The following day, in Aoyama, Matsuda and I were looking around for my three and only friends.

"So, why did you decide to make it a group?" Matsu asked.

"Um…" I couldn't tell him it was because it would be hard for the second Kira to tell who Ryuk was following around. "Cause just you and me would look suspicious!"

"Ah, good thinking…"

"Oi! Nozomi-chan!"

I spotted my friends a few yards away. "Hey!" I called. "Come on, these are my friends. You'll like them." I grabbed Matsuda's hand and rushed over to them. " 'Sup?" I said, doing the trekkie sign.

"Most excellent," they answered, doing the sign as well.

"So, who's your friend?" Saku-chan asked.

"Oh, this is Matsuda."

"Nozomi!" he whispered to me. "I thought we were using fake names here!"

"What? These are my friends! They're trustworthy, I know it," I whispered back. "Alright, this is Keiko."

"Hi."

"Saku-chan."

"Greetings, fellow human!"

"And Minami."

"…"

"And Minami."

"…"

"AND MINAMI, DAMMIT!"

"Oh, uh, hi," Minami mumbled. She was nervously staring at the ground, a faint blush on her face.

"Uh…hi…" Matsuda said, doing the same.

"So, uh, yeah," I said. "Matsuda's like, the only guy friend I've ever made, so…I'll kick you if you're mean to him."

"Nozomi!"

"What? I do it with everyone else!"

We proceeded to walk down the streets of Tokyo, when suddenly Minami pulled me aside. "Nozomi-chan…" she whispered to me. "Do you…know Matsuda very well?"

"What? Yeah, of course!"

"Well, um…" she gulped, the blush on her cheeks returning. "I…I wanted to… can you ask him if he'll go out with me?"

"Minami…we _are_ out…" I mumbled.

"Well, yeah, but on a date. I…" she smiled nervously. "I think he's really sort of…sexy."

I smacked her upside the head. "Don't ever even _say_ the words 'sexy' and 'Matsuda' in the same sentence!" I shuddered. "I find him to be super adorable, and calling him sexy makes him less cute. Okay?"

"Uh, okay…" she mumbled. "But…I really like him. He's cute. Can you maybe…" she gulped again. "Know what, never mind. He'd dump me anyway…"

"What? No way!" I said. "Matsu isn't a total jackass like the other bastards you date. He's really nice and sweet and-"

"Nozomi…" Matsuda came over to me. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Sure. Be right back…" I said to Minami and went over with Matsuda. "Yeah?"

"Can you set me up with Minami?"

"…."

How ironic was this?

"Uh…Minami?" I said. "The blond one?"

"Yeah."

"Are you sure you don't mean Keiko? She's the scary goth one with a bunch of fanboys."

"No. I mean her," he said, pointing at Minami, who had just accidently ran into a pole. "I like her. She's pretty. And nice."

"Um…well…yeah, but-"

"Ah, never mind," he sighed. "She'd dump me anyway."

God, this was SHEER irony!

"Nu-uh! She wouldn't!" I reassured him. "She's nice! Sure, she can't hold a boyfriend for more than two weeks, but still! Besides, Minami's closer to your age than the rest of us are. She got held back twice in middle school. The only reason she's in To-oh now is because I let her copy my answers. But, anyway, you should totally go for it!"

"Um…" he glanced over at Minami again. "I…I can't."

Dammit! Why was it that nearly everyone I knew was a flipping pussy?!

"Fine, don't ask her out," I sighed. "Be lonely for the rest of your life, whatever. But don't come crying to me when she gets a boyfriend, gets engaged, gets married…"

"Damn! I want to ask her out, but…" he sighed. "I'm too nervous."

"Wow_, what_ a shock."

A few days later, I was quietly sitting on my bed, stuffing my face with Hello Panda cookies and re-reading a Suzumiya Haruhi novel while watching the anime on TV at the same time. Ryuk was munching on a few apples. Suddenly, I heard the door ring downstairs. "SAYU! YOU GET IT! I'M BUSY!"

"FINE! GOD, I'M NOT YOUR SLAVE!"

About a minute later, I heard her yell "Nozomi! Someone's here for you!"

I got up from the bed and tied my hair back into the ponytails they were always in. I trudged downstairs. Who the hell dared interrupt me during Suzumiya Haruhi? Once downstairs, I saw a sexy teenage boy, about my age. He had shaggy blond hair, sparkling blue eyes, and somewhat of a baby face. He was dressed in black, gothic clothing, but looked pretty happy to me. He was clutching a black notebook to his chest.

"Uh, hi," I said, appalled by his sexiness. Looking back at mom and Sayu, I went out onto the porch with the boy. "Who're you?"

"Pleased to meet you," he said in an equally sexy voice. Where had I heard it before? "I'm Amane Miso."

"I was afraid you would get worried if I showed the message on TV," he said. "I just couldn't take it anymore, so I brought…this." He showed me the notebook. To my shock, it was black with the words 'DEATH NOTE' at the top.

I looked up at him with wide eyes. It was just as I feared…the second Kira _was_ blond! I gently touched his notebook with the tip of my index finger, and suddenly saw a shinigami. It looked like a mummy, the only thing not white about it being the purple face paint.

"…Please come in," I mumbled, not knowing whether to be really glad or really pissed. "Mom," I said to her as we came back into the house. "He came all this way to return my notebook. Could you make us some tea?"

"Um…sure…" mom said.

I lead Miso up to my room, not saying a word until we got there. I shoved my book and panda cookies in my drawer and turned off the TV just as Haruhi and Kyon fell off the cliff. Damn, this was my favorite episode. "Have a seat," I said, pulling out my desk chair.

"Oh, uh, thank you," he said quietly, sitting in the chair.

I looked at Miso, he looked at me. "How did you find me?" I finally demanded.

"I knew it!" he gasped. "You don't have the shinigami eyes! When you have the eyes, you can see the name and lifespan of anyone. But when you look at someone with a Death Note, you can only see their name."

I glared up at Ryuk. "…What? Not even I knew that!" he said.

"So, now you've found me," I said, leaning back in my chair. "But you were careless. You could have been caught by the police."

"Yeah, but I didn't," Miso said. "And as long as I do as you say, I won't be caught any time soon. Besides, you need someone to see L's name, right? I could be your eyes!" He smiled a smile so sexy I nearly forgot why I was so pissed at him.

"So…what?" I said.

"Nozomi, would you please make me your boyfriend?"

"…"

Huh?

"You…you want to be my…boyfriend?" I mumbled, shocked by the words I just heard. "But…but we can't do that! Everyone in Aoyama that day was caught on a security camera, that includes you and I. If we were seen together after that…it wouldn't look very good."

Miso began to rummage around in his pocket before pulling out a picture. "This is my on the day I went to Aoyama." I have to admit, I couldn't even tell the person in the picture was Miso. He had on a black wig with glasses and was wearing a school uniform.

"Well, then. That's certainly convincing," I said. "But, what about your fingerprints? There were fingerprints on the tapes you sent to the TV station."

"Those weren't mine," Miso said. "Up until now, I've lived in the Kansai region. There I had this friend who was really into the occult. I suggested we distribute this fake poltergeist video to the TV station as a joke. I had her do all the dubbing so my fingerprints wouldn't be on them. Once that was done, I took the tapes from her, put on that 'Kira' picture, and did the voice with that awesome synthesizer effect."

"That is cool, isn't it?" I said. "But, anyway, this friend of yours, where is she now?"

"Why are you doing this to me!?" Miso suddenly snapped. "If you want me to kill her, then I'll kill her! Here, if you still can't trust me…" he held out the Death Note. "I'll let you hold onto my Death Note. But that would still make me the owner, so I get to keep my eyes. Isn't that right, Rem?"

The shinigami called Rem nodded. "Yes. That's right."

Miso gave me the notebook. "Now there's no way I could possibly kill you. And if I become a burden to you, then you can just kill me."

Why was he going this far? "For all I know, you could have removed pages from your Death Note!"

Miso's eyes swelled up with tears and he shot up from the chair. "Why won't you trust me!? I don't care if all you do is use me!" He sank to his knees on the floor. "…Exactly one year ago, my parents were killed in a robbery. I was home with them at the time. I…I saw them be killed. I wanted that man to pay for what he did, and months later…" he looked up at me, his eyes sparkling with tears. "Kira punished him. That's why Kira means everything to me. All I wanted was to thank you for what you did." He let his tears drip to the floor.

Normally I found it sad when a boy cried, but now I actually felt bad for Miso. I didn't like him the way he liked me, but still…he would be of use. And after all, meeting me was _all_ he wanted. I slowly walked over to him, got down on my knees, and hugged him. He gasped when I did. "I understand…" I said. "I can't be your girlfriend, but I can pretend like I am." I gently dried his tears with my thumb.

"Thank you," he mumbled with a tiny sniffle. "I'll try my hardest to make you love me, I promise." He let me go and rubbed the tears from his eyes.

"Here, one moment…" I took out my handkerchief and dried the remainder of his tears. I offered it to him.

"Thanks…" He quietly blew his nose, almost daintily, and sniffled.

"Alright. We'll be a pretend couple. I suppose it's a good start. Now that that's all done, can I see your shinigami?"

"What? Oh, yeah, sure…" I took out a bit of the Death Note from my pocket and touched Miso's hand with it.

"Hey. How's it going?" Ryuk said.

"Dude! This is so cool! You're a totally different shinigami than Rem is, aren't you?" Miso said. "Nice to meet you."

"Same here."

"Uh, Miso, there's just one important thing I should tell you about," I said.

"What's that?"

"If you're ever arrested or brought in for questioning, don't mention anything about us or the Death Note, got it?" I asked.

"Alright. I promise," said Miso. "So I guess this means we're officially boyfriend/girlfriend, right?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Then I just have one more condition."

I sighed. "What's that?"

"You have to go on a date with me at least once a week," he said.

"What? We can't!"

"Huh? Why?" he said with a horrified expression on his face like I had just told him he had AIDS or something.

"L already suspects that I'm Kira," I told him. "I'm actually working on the Kira task force with him. I've already seen his face, and he figures he's safe as long as I don't know his name. And little by little, I'm winning his trust. But we can't appear to be too close to each other or I'll be under greater suspicion."

"But how-"

"I don't really feel like explaining it," I sighed. "But do you understand?"

He hesitated. "Well, yeah, but is that why we can't go on dates? It'll look too suspicious?"

I nodded. "And to make sure our meetings go unnoticed, I'll have to be seen with other guys. My friend is a total guy-magnet, so I could probably borrow a few of her fanboys-"

"What? You're going to date other guys!?" Miso gasped with the 'AIDS' face again.

"More or less," I shrugged.

"I DON'T WANT YOU TO!"

I looked back at Miso, who was now looking furious.

"If I so much as see you with another boy, I'll kill him!" Miso snapped.

I gasped and took a few steps back.

"_Scary_," Ryuk said.

"Look…_baby_…" I shuddered. "This is serious. We're both risking our lives to change the world, here."

"I know, but…" Miso mumbled. "I love you more than the world, Nozomi."

"No, I think you love Kira," I said. "We just met."

"You're right," he said. "But don't you believe at love at first sight? The moment I saw you…I just knew."

_What the hell is wrong with this guy!?_

"You just got done telling me that you would do anything for me!"

"Well, yeah, but I never said you could date other guys!"

"If you don't do as I say, I could easily kill you!" I would never really kill Miso, I just wanted to freak him out is all.

"I would never allow that, Yagami Nozomi."

Miso and I turned to look up at Rem, who was hovering above us. "If you do anything that results in this boys' death," the shinigami said, "the first thing I will do is kill you. You do realize I can see his lifespan. If he happens to die before that time comes, then I will write your name in my Death Note."

I was about to retort, when there was a knocking on my door. "Nozomi," my mom said. "It's almost eleven thirty. You really shouldn't have a boy here this late."

"FINE, MOTHER!! GOD, I'M NOT A FREAKING KID!!" I screamed.

"Sorry, Mrs. Yagami," Miso said, obviously nervous after my screaming. I went downstairs with him and Rem to say goodbye. "Goodnight," he said. Miso was about to leave, but he hesitated. "Nozomi…"

"Yes?"

"…" He rushed over to me and gently kissed my cheek. I blushed. "Goodnight," he whispered. "I love you." He went off into the night with the shinigami.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

_A/N: Yay! I've been waiting to put in Miso! I'm sorry to all those girlxgirl fans out there, but I'm not really into that stuff. =_= Next time, Miso meets L…and chaos unfolds._


	10. Even MORE Sucky Stuff Occurs

_A/N: Yay! Chapter ten! :3_

_And seeing as it is chapter ten, I'm having a super awesome special!!! I've seen this on Naruto Abridged before, so I wanted to do it too! Now, I plan to make NYWLOD at least nineteen chapters, maybe twenty or twenty-one, not including the epilogue. And I've seen other people with popular stories do this, and they inspired me…_

_To have a FANFIC FANART CONTEST!!!!!_

_Now here's the thing. I'm having a contest to see who can draw the super awesomest picture from any moment in the story so far. Or it doesn't even have to be a moment in the story; Just something you thought would be funny for the characters to do. Now that means ANYTHING. It could be a MinaMatsu (Minami and Matsuda), NozomixL, a collision of Nozomi and Suzumiya Haruhi (Nozomi would flipping LOVe that XD), Nozomi killing a turkey, or anything at all! _

_Just put the picture online and send the author (me) a link to it. Unless ordered otherwise from the artist, I will put the links to every entry on my page for the world to see. Your entry doesn't even have to be in the final five places (the "That Is Just Awesome Award", the "Honorable Mention", Third Place, Second Place, and First Place.)!!! _

_The contest ends Friday December 13, 2008, by which time I will be long done with the story. I will put the winners and their work in the Authors Note a day or two later. A person can put up as many drawings as they want. However, I DO NOT recommend posting a picture until after the story is finished, which will be in two weeks or so. There's a damn lot of hilarity coming your way, so you might want to use some of those sceens. Including a sceen where L and Nozomi get drunk, so you don't want to to miss that! ~_^_

_I only have one rule: NO YURI!!!!_

_Oh, and you don't have to participate if you don't want to…it would just make me super happy…And if I'm super happy then I may consider writing another super hilarious story…_

_Oh, yeah! And even if you decide to wait to submit something, please leave a review telling me if you want to so I could add you to the list of people who will enter._

_But, anyway, thank you for taking the time to read this. Now onto chapter 10!_

_PS: I ended the contect on Friday the Thirteenth because that's Nozomi's favorite holiday. XD_

Nozomi Yagami's Wonderous Life of Doom

Chapter 10

Even MORE Sucky Stuff Happens

I sat at the edge of my bed, trying to decide what emotion I was feeling at the moment. Guilt? Hatred? Love?

_No! Don't even think about love! Ryuzaki is my enemy and I don't even like him more than that! Sure, we're friends, but that's only some of the time!_

I had just gotten home from the hotel, trying to comprehend what was going on with me. While there, we got the video that Miso had sent. L revealed that he suspected that Kira and the second Kira had already met and used the message to confuse them. He also told me that if I were Kira, that would be a problem…

Because I'm the first friend he's ever had.

"My life sucks," I whined. I got up, changed into some street clothes, and went out for a walk with Ryuk, trying to clear my head.

"What's going on with you?" Ryuk asked. "You're never this quiet."

"It's just…I don't know," I sighed. "I think that…Ryuzaki…I think I might actually li-"

"NOZOMI-CHAN!"

_GLOMP!_

I fell on my back, an extra weight on top of me. I winced open my eyes and saw Miso. "I know you said to wait two weeks, but I couldn't help it!" he said. "I was actually just on my way to your house when I saw you."

"…"

_I've never been so provoked to kick a guy in the balls before._

"I just wanted to see you so badly," he said, getting off of me.

I stood up too. "Well, you might as well come over…"

"Cool!"

We quietly walked to my house from there, Ryuk and Rem following close behind us.

"Hi, Miso!" Sayu said when we entered the house. "I saw you in a bunch of magazines!"

Oh, yeah. I forgot to mention that Miso was an upcoming male model.

"Could you make us some tea?" I asked my mom as Miso and I went up to my room. "So…what do you want?"

He raised an eyebrow. "What do I want? To see you, of course!"

I blinked at his smile. He was so sweet, so cute. It made me feel bad to only be using him.

"…Rem," I said, looking up at the shinigami. "I've noticed that you have feelings for Miso. If he was happy, that would make you happy, right?"

"You could say that," she said.

"And Miso," I said, turning to the boy. "If I was happy, you'd be happy too, right?"

"Of course!"

"So…could you get Rem to kill L?"

Miso stared at me for a moment before turning to Rem. "Please, Rem? Being happy with Nozomi is all I've ever wanted."

"…"

"Fine. I will kill L," she said. "But I do not like you, Yagami Nozomi."

"No one really does."

"And though I will kill L, it will not kill me."

"Yay! Thanks, Rem!" Miso cried, hugging his shinigami.

I suddenly realized what I had just done. _Ryuzaki's…gonna die…_I shook my head. _No! What the hell am I thinking? He's L! He's trying to ruin my plan of making an ideal world! But still…I…no! There's no 'but's! L's gonna die and that's that!_

"Don't kill L until I give the order, alright?" I said. "I'll spend tonight thinking of how we'll kill him." I turned to Ryuk. "Wanna see him choke on his cake?"

"Definitely!"

I turned back to Miso. "And I'm going to need your cell phone number."

"It's about time!" he said. "Gimme yours too, okay?"

"No, Miso, I can't do that."

"What? But I'm your boyfriend! I should have your number!"

"In case you've forgotten, I'm under suspicion by the police. It isn't hard to bug even cell phones these days," I explained.

"Oh…well, I know! I'll just give you one of mine!" He reached into his pocket and pulled out a red cell phone. "I ended up with three of them, because I use them for different things."

"This is perfect," I said, taking the cell phone.

"Great! I can hear your voice everyday, and text you too!" Miso exclaimed happily.

"No, I'll be the one doing the calling," I said.

"Well…when are you going to call me?"

"Probably tomorrow," I told him. "That's probably the day we'll kill L, but I'll call you either way."

"Tomorrow?" he gasped, getting a happy smile. "Great! It doesn't sound like a very romantic call, but I guess we could talk about 'us' afterwards!"

"You should probably go home now, Miso."

"What?" he mumbled. "But it's only seven! The time for lovers is just beginning! I could take you out for dinner, we'll take a stroll in the park, and then the main event!"

I quickly grabbed Miso's wrists, leaned in, and kissed him tenderly.

_God, I always pictured my first kiss to be with someone I actually have feelings for. But, then again, I didn't expect to get my first kiss when I was eighteen. But I suppose it can't be helped. I only kissed him so he'd shut up anyway…_

Miso kissed me back, obviously happy about this. I slowly backed away from him. "You have to go home now, alright?"

"O…Okay…" he mumbled, a deep blush on his cheeks. We walked downstairs together and I opened the door for him. "Bye, Nozomi-chan…" he nervously kissed my cheek.

"Bye," I said back, shyly looking at the ground. He left quietly.

"Bye, Miso! Come back soon, okay?" Sayu called from behind me. "Dang, Nozomi. I didn't expect you to get a boyfriend until your mid-thirties."

"Eat me…"

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

"…But the only kind is a sex fetish!"

"There's all kinds of fetishes, you bitch!"

"Actually, there are 3,975 different kinds of fetishes, sexual and not."

"Nu-uh! List 'em!"

"Sneezing fetish, foot fetish, hair fetish, nose fetish…"

I sighed, as my friends and I continued to walk down the path in front of the university. Somehow, they had started bickering about fetishes. But, then again, they always fought about random stuff. Last week it was doctors, week before then it was pasta, just weird stuff that no one seemed to get. I looked up and froze. My friends ran into me.

"What is it, Nozomi?" Keiko said.

There he was. Sitting on the bench, there was the person who was supposed to die today. He was reading a book, holding it with his thumb and index finger. "Oh, crap…"

"Hey, who's that? He looks familiar," Minami said.

"Um, uh, no way! He, uh, he looks like a pedophile, we should go…" I was backing away with them when Saku-chan yelled "HEY! NOZOMI'S FRIEND!"

"Dammit!"

Ryuzaki looked up and waved. "Hey, Nozomi!"

"Um…could we continue this later? I need to talk to him alone."

"Oh. Okay. Bye, Nozomi. Bye, Nozomi's friend!" Keiko, Minami, and Saku-chan turned and left.

I put on a fake smile and went over to him. "Hey, Ryuzaki! How's it going? Hey, is it alright for you to be here? Didn't you say you were afraid to come out it public?"

"I was," he said. "But you're the only one on the outside who knows me as L. If I were to die in the next few days, I've instructed everyone at headquarters to assume that you're Kira."

"…"

DAMN HIM!!!

"Besides, you are the one who said you missed me around campus. As long as it doesn't kill me, college is fun."

I nodded. "Yeah, I suppose so. Without you around, intelligent conversation is hard to come by."

"Hey, do you want to have some cake with me in the cafeteria?" he asked, getting up from the bench.

"Most definitely!" I said happily, walking down the path with him toward the cafeteria. "I've noticed you like sweets a lot. You're my kind of man."

"Your kind of man…?"

"…"

"No! No, I didn't mean it that way!" I said, blushing a faint maroon. "I mean we just have a lot in common, that's all."

"Yes, I suppose we are somehow alike…"

"Nozomi-chan! There you are!"

_GOD DAMMIT_!!!

I slowly turned around to see Miso. "Hey!" he said in that happy voice that really pissed the hell out of me. "I had a photo shoot nearby, so I thought I'd come see you! Hey, who's your friend?"

"I'm Hideki Ryuga," he said.

"Yep! Isn't that weird? He has the exact same first and last name as the idol!" I said nervously.

Miso stared at Ryuzaki. I turned to look at him too…

And my heart dropped to my knees.

He was laughing.

Did he see that Miso was the second Kira?

"You're a very lucky girl, Nozomi-chan."

I froze. "Wh…What?"

"I've been a fan of yours since the August edition of _18_," he said to Miso.

"Really? Thanks!"

_He reads 18? Gay…_

"Hey, is that Amane Miso?"

"Oh my god, it is!"

"He's so hot!"

All of a sudden, there was a huge swarm of fangirls around Miso, squealing about how cute he was and stuff.

"Hey! Someone just grabbed my ass!" Miso gasped. Ryuzaki was right behind him, looking nervous.

"Uh….this is an outrage!" he cried. "Taking advantage of the situation like that is uncalled for! I will find who's responsible!"

"You're so funny, Ryuga!" Miso smiled.

_Okay. Either Ryuzaki's being really gay…or he's up to something…but I have to ask Miso for L's real name as soon as possible! But all these people are in the way…_

"Miso!" A woman with tightly wound black hair pushed past the crowd and grabbed his hand. "It's time! Or were you planning to be late again?"

"Uh, no. Sorry, Yoshi," Miso mumbled as the woman pulled him away. "Bye, Nozomi-chan! I'll see you when I'm done working! Miss you already!"

And just like that, the crown dispersed. "Well, we should probably get going," Ryuzaki said.

"Know what, you go on without me," I said. "I gotta use the bathroom."

"Alright. See you, there."

We went our separate directions. I took Miso's phone out of my pocket and took a deep breath. L was going to die. I didn't want to kill Ryuzaki, but…L was a threat. _I'm sorry, Ryuzaki. I really did like you._ I slowly dialed the number of Miso's phone, when suddenly…

_"Kono machijyuu afureru mono ni mamire utsutsu wo nukasu you na koto wa nai. Asu e to tsunagaru michi no hate de kono te ni tsukamu mono wo mitai kara…"_

The familiar ring tone came from behind me. I slowly turned around to see Ryuzaki, holding Miso's phone. "Yes? Hello?" he answered.

"…What the hell do you mean, 'hello'?" I demanded.

"Oh, is that you, Nozomi?"

"OF COURSE IT'S ME, DUMBASS!" I snapped. "Why do you have Miso's phone?"

"Oh, it's Miso's? I just found it. I guess someone dropped it in all the commotion…"

I suddenly remembered when he grabbed Miso's butt. _He wasn't being gay…he was taking Miso's phone! That bastard!_

"I can give it back to him," I said to Ryuzaki.

"Oh, sure, that makes sense." He hung up the phone and handed it to me. "Okay…bye."

"Bye." I stalked off in the other direction. That idiot didn't even know about Miso's other phone. I proceeded to call Miso's other phone when…

There was a ring.

_OH, COME ON!!_

"Huh? This time it's actually my cell phone…" Ryuzaki picked up the phone. "Yes? …Yes, I see….So it's done, then? ….Okay." He hung up the phone and turned to me. "I don't really know how you'll take this, but we've just taken Amane Miso into custody out of suspicion of being the second Kira."

….

Oh, crap.

Ryuzaki began to talk some more, but I couldn't even hear. All I wanted to do was crawl in a ditch and die.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

Hours later, I was sitting in my room, trying to come up with a solution for this problem.

_I could always just kill Miso! But then Rem would kill me. Besides, I don't have the heart to kill Miso. But, then, if I don't do something about him…_

"Hey, Rem."

I broke out of my trance to look at Miso's shinigami. "What're you doing here?"

"Yagami Nozomi…" Rem said. "Miso has refused my offer to help him escape. No doubt because it would cause you trouble. When his suffering became more than he could bear, he asked me to kill him. All of this because he wants you to love him."

I stared at the ground, not really knowing what to say.

"I couldn't possibly let it go on like that. I could bring myself to kill him. There was only one way to save Miso from his suffering…"

"Forfeiting ownership of the Death Note," I answered.

"Yes. Now Miso has no memory of the Death Note or anything related to it. He still loves you, Yagami Nozomi, but not because you're Kira. He will no longer be able to see me or Ryuk, either."

I was stunned. Miso…loved me? He loved me for Nozomi? Not for Kira? I almost started crying.

"You did the right thing, Rem…" I mumbled.

"Yes, but if you don't save Miso, I will kill you."

I snapped my head up to look at the shinigami. "O…Okay. I actually thought about this. I know exactly what L would do." I turned to my own shinigami. "Ryuk…this is goodbye."

Ryuk's eyes grew wider than usual. "What? But Nozomi! So, what, I can't hang around you anymore? We can't play video games or watch pointless TV or throw rocks at the ducks in the lake?"

"I'm afraid not."

"Dammit!"

I looked up at Ryuk, not liking this any more than he did. After hesitating, I turned back to Rem. "Come on. Let's go to the woods. We can make the deal there."

I slowly dialed the number into my cell phone, prepared for what I was about to do.

"Yes?" Ryuzaki answered on the other line.

"…It's Nozomi," I mumbled. "Look…I think I might be Kira."

There was a hesitation.

"Alright. I understand. We'll be expecting you in room K2801. Goodbye." He hung up and I took in a deep breath.

I quietly entered the hotel room he had said on the phone. Everyone was there. My father, Aizawa, Matsu, and Ryuzaki. He was sitting in a chair in front of a laptop and didn't turn to look at me like the others did. I gulped. "Ryuzaki…like I said on the phone…I could be Kira."

My father gasped and clutched my shoulders. "What? No, Nozomi! What're you even saying!?"

"Dad, if Ryuzaki is L, then it's safe to say he's the worlds' greatest detective. And right now he's pretty sure that I'm Kira," I said soberly. I usually was never this serious. "And L's never been wrong before."

"No! Stop this, Nozomi!"

"Just think about it, dad!" I snapped. "That FBI agent, Raye Penber, he was investigating me when he died. I was in Aoyama on the twenty-second. And shortly after, I was the first person in the Conto region who Amane Miso, the alleged second Kira, approached. It would be idiotic not to assume I'm Kira. What I mean is, I may be Kira subconsciously. I might be her and not even know it."

"What? No, Nozomi…"

"I'm…I'm not sure of anything anymore!" I cried. "I'm so damn confused right now! It's so troubling, I'm not even paying attention to anime anymore! THAT'S PRETTY DAMN SAD!!" I took in a deep breath. "For all I know, I could be killing people as I sleep."

"I'm afraid that would be impossible," Ryuzaki said. "I never told you this, but for five days, there were cameras hidden in your room."

"…"

"So you were watching 24/7?"

"Yes."

"YOU MOTHER [CENCOR] PERVERT!" I screamed.

"Nozomi!" my father snapped.

"Fine," I sighed. "But, still. I've found myself thinking that some people deserve to die. If I can think like Kira, shouldn't that be a little proof that I am Kira?"

"I feel the same way, Nozomi-chan!"

I looked over at Matsuda. "Matsu…" I mumbled.

"I've also found myself thinking that some people deserve to die," he said. "But that doesn't mean that we're going to go out and kill people! Besides, how could you have killed people when you had no knowledge of them? We were watching your room all the time!"

"Oh…Matsu…" I muttered. "Don't try to defend me, love."

"Yeah, don't," Aizawa said. "Anyway, we were only about to watch her when she was home. Nozomi could have found a way to kill those criminals when she wasn't at home."

"Yeah, thanks, Aizawa," I hissed sarcastically.

There was a hesitation.

"Honestly, I really don't like the way this is going," Ryuzaki said. "But let's do it. We will fully incarcerate Nozomi and place her in solitary confinement."

"What?"

"You're going to incarcerate her? Seriously?"

"Yes. I don't really like it, but what choice to do I have? Nozomi…" he turned to me. "From now on, you won't go anywhere where I can't see you."

"No, this is crazy!" dad said. "There's no way my daughter could be Kira! She could never pull it off!"

"Why does everyone think I'm too stupid to be Kira?"

"Mr. Yagami, could you make up an excuse for Nozomi's absence?" Ryuzaki asked. "Something to tell your family."

"And my friends, too," I said. "They go rabid when I'm away for too long."

"Um…alright…and her friends too."

"But this is so sudden!" dad said. "What do you want me to say? And I see no reason for Nozomi to be imprisoned."

"Let it go, dad," I said. "Until this fear I have of being Kira goes away, I want nothing more than to be imprisoned."

"…"

"Alright."

Aizawa grabbed a pair of handcuffs and was about to put them on me. "Wait!" I said before he could do it. I turned to Matsuda. "See you…whenever the hell I get out." I embraced him in a tight hug. "Bye, Matsu. Don't let Aizawa treat you like crap, okay?"

"Uh…okay…"

"Ryuzaki," I said, looking at the detective. "…I want you to kick Aizawa whenever he's mean to Matsu."

"Consider it done."

"Ryuzaki! What the hell!?"

"And Aizawa…burn in hell."

"You too, Nozomi," he grimanced. I stuck my tongue out at him.

"And dad…bye."

"Uh…bye."

I let them put the handcuffs on me.

"Take her away, Aizawa," Ryuzaki said.

And he proceeded to do so.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

_A/N: I don't really feel like writing a preview for the next chapter, so just find out later._

_And thank you all for the kind comments! I hope to see some of your art work later on! And remember; it doesn't even have to be good! A picture of Nozomi and her friends could look like a polar bear humping a joice pouch and I will still put the link on my page. _

_So please consider entering the 'NYWLOD' Fanart Contest!_

_Until next time,_

_--Mello Lufs Matt 74_


	11. Nozomi and L Get Closer

_A/N: As some of you may have noticed, I changed the story title from 'Nozomi Yagami's __**Wondrous**__ Life of Doom' to 'Nozomi Yagami's __**Wonderful **__Life of Doom'. I just figured 'wondrous' didn't have as much of a ring to it as 'wonderful'. _

_Aside from that…enjoy the chapter!!!_

_Just so you know, L and Nozomi will get drunk in the next chapter. ^_^_

Nozomi Yagami's Wonderful Life of Doom

Chapter 11

Nozomi and L Get Closer

Third day of confinement and I was already pissed off.

"DAMMIT, RYUZAKI! LET ME WATCH MY FLIPPING SUZUMIYA HARUHI!!" I screamed. "I'LL NEVER KNOW WHAT HAPPENS WITH THE S.O.S. BRIGADE! AWWW, AT LEAST LET ME WORK ON MY SCREEENPLAY! COME ON…"

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Nozomi," Ryuzaki said. "If I did, you might see a broadcast of a criminal. It would be most unfortunate if he were to die just then."

"Oh yeah, speaking of that," I said, "have any more criminals been announced?"

"Yes, very many. But no one's been killed."

"Really? No one?" I sighed. "Well, ain't that a bitch?"

FIFTH DAY OF CONFINEMENT

"Gah! I'm going crazy! I need an apple so damn badly…"

I glared at Ryuk, who was complaining non-stop. I had been listening to it for five days now. I was trying my hardest to think of happy stuff like duckies, but Ryuk's voice just went on and on and on and on…

SEVENTH DAY OF CONFINEMENT

"COME ON, MAN! YOU'VE GOTTA LET ME WATCH SUZUMIYA HARUHI, YOU JUST GOTTA!" I begged Ryuzaki. "At least let me watch it from the internet! I'll go insane without my Suzumiya! KYON! DON'T GIVE INTO MIKURU'S SEXINESS! BE FAITHFUL TO HARUHI, YOU BASTARD!"

Yeah. I was beginning to snap.

"Nozomi, you've been here for a week already and I'm sure it can't be easy. Are you alright?"

"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK!?!"

"I'll take that as a yes…"

I sighed, trying to calm down. I figured it was about time. "I probably look really bad in here, what with my false pride. I guess I'll have to…get rid of it!"

Ryuk looked at me. That was the code only he knew. He hesitated before saying "got it. Bye, Nozomi. Next time we meet, I'm going to kick your ass with Kirby on Super Smash Bros. Melee, got it?" he disappeared.

And suddenly, it was all gone.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

What the hell was I doing here? I wasn't Kira! How did such an idiotic idea get into my head!? I think I would have remembered killing countless people.

"Ryuzaki!" I yelled up to the camera. "This is stupid! I'm not Kira, I know I'm not!"

"If you recall, Nozomi, you were the one who wanted to be put in captivity," he said.

"Yeah, well I'm a girl! I want to do one thing one moment, and I'm against it the next! It's the way my brain works! Ryuzaki…I think I would have realized it if I were Kira."

"I'm afraid I can't let you out, Nozomi-chan," he said. "I will not let you out no matter what you say or do, that was the promise. And I do believe that anyone who is Kira would be conscious of it. The killings ceased the moment we put you in confinement."

"Listen to me, Ryuzaki!" I yelled. "There's no way I'm lying! I thought you trusted me! I thought we were friends! I'm not Kira!" And at the moment I was telling the truth. At least I thought it was the truth. Now, I didn't know anything about the Death Note, about Ryuk, about shinigami, nothing. "Please, Ryuzaki-kun! Hurry up and let me out! I'm not Kira! Look me strait in the eye, I SWEAR I'm not Kira! I wouldn't lie to you, I like you too much to do that! Please, just let me out!"

"I'm afraid I can't do that, Nozomi."

I drooped my head. "Dammit, how did it turn out like this?"

FIFTEENTH DAY OF CONFINEMENT

"At least untie my hands! Alone time is useless now!"

"Alone…time?"

I grimaced. "Not that kind of alone time! I draw the faces of the S.O.S. Brigade on my fingers when I'm lonely. Yeah, I'm that depressed."

"…"

"Nozomi-chan…"

"What?"

"No criminals have been killed since you were put in confinement," Ryuzaki said. "Just admit that you're Kira already."

"I already told you, you're wrong!" I cried. "I'm not Kira, never _was_ Kira, and I'm never going to _be_ Kira! I'm not surprised that you think I'm Kira because of the way this investigation is going, but I'm telling you, I. AM. NOT. KIRA!"

"I'm sorry…Nozomi-chan."

THIRTIETH DAY OF CONFINEMENT

"Ryu…zaki…" I murmured. "Is Miso okay?"

"Yes. He's fine, Nozomi," Ryuzaki said.

"I want to talk to him," I said. "I want to see him."

I heard L quietly talking to someone for a moment. "Alright. I suppose that's okay. Watari will bring in a monitor. You'll be able to hear and see Miso, and he'll hear you."

As L had said, Watari came in and put in a tiny monitor in front of me. He flipped a switch and I saw Miso. He was tied up to an upright backboard. He was tied and chained up, a band covering his eyes.

If I was a boy, I would have totally gone tingly.

"Miso…" I said quietly into the speaker Watari held.

His head perked up. "N-Nozomi-chan? Are you there? DAMN YOU!!" he cried. I thought me meant me, but it became apparent he was talking to L. Or who he thought was "his stalker". "Why the hell would you involve my girlfriend in this!? Nozomi, are you okay?!"

"Yes, I'm okay, Miso," I whispered, trying to sound as loving and comforting as I could. "Don't be scared, okay? This'll be over soon."

"R-Really?" he said, tears streaming out from under the eye mask they made him wear. He lowered his head. "Nozomi, I need you…"

I started to cry as well. I couldn't help it. All I wanted was to comfort Miso, to hold him, to tell him it would all be alright. "Miso," I said. "When we get out of here, we're going on the best date ever, okay, love?"

"Really, Nozomi-chan?"

"Yeah."

"Okay…" Miso sniffled. "I…I love you, Nozomi-chan."

"Ohh…" I cooed. "Miso, I…" I smiled. "If my hands were free, I'd pretend to hug you."

That got a tiny smile out of him. I assumed it was his first smile in a month. "You're awesome, Nozomi-chan."

FIFTHIETH DAY OF CONFINEMENT

"Nozomi. Are you feeling alright?"

I glared up at the camera. "I…I guess…" Dammit! I had already missed seven new episodes of Suzumiya Haruhi! Now I would never know what's going on! Nagato could be pregnant for all I know! Mikuru might have had a sex change! Koizumi could have died! That's it…I had to get out of there and I had to get out now!

"Ryuzaki…" I mumbled. "I know not a single criminal has been killed since I've been put in confinement…but that's probably because Kira knows the situation I'm in-"

"No, Nozomi. Criminals have stopped dying because you're Kira."

"How the hell can you even say that!?!" I yelled, my eyes swelling with tears. That was only the second time I had cried the entire time I had been imprisoned.

"I'm…sorry, Nozomi-chan."

It could have been my mind playing tricks on me, but I could have sworn I heard a bit of hurt in his voice.

FIFTHY THIRID DAY OF CONFINEMENT

"Nozomi-chan, please get up. We will be letting you out."

I snapped my head up to look at the camera as if it were Ryuzaki himself. "What? So I'm cleared?"

"More or less. I'm having Aizawa take you to an abandoned parking lot. You will meet your father and Miso there," he continued.

"…"

"Does it have to be Aizawa?"

"Be happy you're getting out at all."

"Oh…okay."

They let me out of the cell soon after. It felt good to get out of there. Just as Ryuzaki had said, Aizawa took to me an abandoned parking lot building and we awaited my father's arrival.

Suddenly, a car drove up.

"Nozomi-chan!" Miso cried, rushing forward to hug me.

"Miso-kun!" I gasped, hugging him too. I didn't have feelings for him, but it still felt good to hug someone. Ryuzaki wouldn't let me so much as touch Matsuda, there way no way in hell I was hugging Aizawa, and…I was too embarrassed to hug Ryuzaki-kun.

"Dad! What's this all about?" I asked him.

"That's your dad?" Miso gasped. "Aww, crap! I just called your dad old and a crazy gay stalker man! Uh, sorry about that, Mr. Yagami! I'm Amane Miso, Nozomi's boyfriend!"

My dad opened up the back door or another car. "Let's go. Get in," he said.

Miso and I exchanged glances before obeying him and getting in the backseat of the car. We drove on for a while, not really talking very much. Until I finally said "I was starting to think I would never get out of there. It feels good to be cleared."

"I'm afraid not."

I looked up at my dad. "What?"

"You two are being taken…to your execution."

And Miso and I started yelling.

"What?"

"Are you [CENCOR] kidding!?"

"What the hell are you talking about!?"

"I wanted to be the one to show you to your death," dad said, not looking at either of us, not even in the rearview mirror. "L knows you're Kira, Nozomi, and Amane Miso is the second Kira. He figured the only way to prevent the murders was to kill the both of you."

"He…he was lying…" I mumbled, more shocked with the fact that Ryuzaki wanted me killed rather than the fact he was having my own father do it.

"L was trying to get a confession out of you, Nozomi. He would have said anything. He figured the killings would stop as long as the two of you are executed."

"But that's crazy!" I yelled. "I know Ryuzaki! He would never jump to conclusions like that! Besides, we're friends! Or, at least, he's _my_ friend…"

"What the hell kind of a father are you!?" Miso finally said. "This is your own daughter you're talking about!"

"This was L's decision, not mine," dad said.

"No…No, you're lying!" I cried. "Even if Ryuzaki decided to kill me, he would never let my own father do it. He's not cruel like that."

"Think what you want, Nozomi," my father said. "But L wants you dead, and that's all that matters. He's never been wrong before. And if the killings don't stop after you two die…he will be executed as well."

I felt my eyes grow wide. "What? He…he said that?" I hesitated. "No! No matter what happens, please don't kill Ryuzaki! Under no circumstances, please!" My eyes swelled up with tears. "Dad, I am begging you, do NOT kill Ryuzaki. Please…" I stared at the floor. "He means a lot to me now. I'd rather rot in the fire pits of hell then let you kill him. Just….don't."

"Alright. We're almost there."

"DAMMIT!" I screamed. "Fine. Kill me, I don't give a damn. Just please, PLEASE tell Ryuzaki that…I love him."

WOAH! SHOCKER!

Okay, yeah. I didn't really say that. I just wanted to freak you little bastards out is all. XD. But, seriously, _here's _what happened…

"Alright. We're almost there."

"DAMMIT!" I screamed. "Well, at least don't kill Ryuzaki-kun! If he died, I would never be able to live with myself."

"Actually, you wouldn't be living at all…"

"Shut up, Miso!"

Dad drove the car under a bridge and stopped there. The car was quiet for a few minutes before he said "this is good. There's no one around to see us. Listen to me. Nozomi…I'm going to kill you and then myself."

I gasped. "Wh-what!? Dad, just think about this! This is crazy! If we die here, the truth will never be revealed!" He pulled a gun from his pocket. "No, dad, please!"

"You will be executed either way," he said. "This way, I can do it myself." He held the gun to my forehead.

"No, dad, please stop it!"

"Don't do this! You'd kill your daughter like this!? You're no different than Kira, you sick bastard!"

"Amane," dad said to Miso. "I have no reason to kill you. The police will eventually find this car and execute you as well."

Miso's eyes were overflowing with tears, as were mine.

"Nozomi, my daughter…" dad glared at me. "From one murderer to another, I'll see you in hell!"

"NO! STOP IT!"

Dad pulled the trigger and…

Wait…

What the hell just happened? There was the boom, but I wasn't dead.

I slowly opened my eyes, the tears blurring my vision. The gun was still in my face, smoke coming out of it. "You…used a blank?"

Dad sighed in relief and sat back in his seat. "Thank god… I'm sorry I had to put you two through that. It was the only way to see if you were Kira or not. If Amane was the second Kira, he would have killed me instantly. And Nozomi…" He looked up at the rearview mirror. "Were you watching, Ryuzaki?"

"Yes."

"Oh my god, someone's in the mirror…"

"Shut up, Miso!"

"And as we discussed, Amane Miso will remain under surveillance. And like I said before, they are free to go now."

"Hell yeah!" Miso and I cried.

"Thanks, Ryuzaki-kun!" I said to the mirror. "But you're a real bastard for putting us through that! I'm _SO_ kicking your ass next time I see you!"

"That won't be too hard," he said. "From now on, you will be with me 24/7, just as promised."

"…"

"Wait, what?"

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDND

I tugged on the chain, feeling even more pissed off than before. "Uh, Ryuzaki, you do realize that I'm a girl, right?"

"You would not be pretty if you weren't."

I rolled my eyes. "Well, it isn't exactly normal for a girl to be handcuffed to a guy. It's a little weird, actually. Are you sure you're not doing this just to be a pervert?"

"Would you rather this or be in that cell again, Nozomi-chan?"

"…"

I sighed. This really sucked. I was going to have to be chained together with Ryuzaki until we found Kira. In other words, the rest of my life.

"So, what're Nozomi and I gonna do about dates?" Miso demanded.

"For dates, all three of us will go casually."

Miso stared at Ryuzaki like he had just maimed a baby seal. "No…way…IN HELL!" he cried. "So, what? You're telling us to kiss in front of you!?"

"I'm not telling you to do anything, Miso-san," Ryuzaki said. "But I will be observing."

"WHAT THE HELL!? YOU PERVERT!"

"Nozomi-chan, please make Miso be quiet…"

"Shut up, Miso!"

"Come on, Nozomi!" Miso said to me. "Don't you trust your lover?"

"No matter what the title is, Miso, you were the one who said it was love at first sight-"

"So, what? You just took advantage of me and kissed me because I said I liked you!?" he demanded, eyes swelling up with large tears. Honestly, I would think Miso was gay if he wasn't so faithful to me. "You bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch! Bitch!"

"About the love at first sight thing," Ryuzaki interrupted. "It was in Aoyama on the twenty second of May, right?"

"Yeah…"

"Why did you go to Aoyama that day?"

"I don't know, because I wanted to!" he shrugged.

"So when you came back, you knew you're love-at-first-sight Nozomi's name, right?"

"…"

"Yeah," Miso said.

"You don't even know how you knew her name?" Ryuzaki asked.

"Yeah, that's right!" Miso snapped, getting up in Ryuzaki's face. I was secretly hoping they would start wrestling before sharing a gay kiss, but I was never that lucky.

"Then if Nozomi-chan was Kira, how would you feel?"

"If Nozomi-chan was Kira?" Miso turned to look at me. He suddenly ran over and started hugging my arm. I suddenly realized he was at least a foot taller than me. "Well, if Nozomi-chan was Kira, that would be the best! I've always been grateful to Kira for killing the man who murdered my parents, so that'd be sweet! If Nozomi-chan was Kira, I'd just love her more and more! But I feel like I love her so much, I can't love her anymore!"

"We're talking about Kira," Ryuzaki said. "Aren't you afraid of loving Kira more?"

"Well, we're talking about Nozomi, and I couldn't even consider loving anything more than Nozomi!" Miso exclaimed. "Besides, I'm a Kira supporter. If I ever met Kira, I'd only want to help her!"

"But then it would be obvious you were the second Kira."

Miso shrugged. "Uh, I guess. But I'm not Kira!"

Ryuzaki sighed, obviously convinced that Miso was an even bigger idiot than he looked. "We will be keeping you under surveillance. When you go out, let us know through secure wire. We've paid them and told them that from now on. Home or work. And from now on, Matsuda will be your manager, known as 'Matsui.' He will be with you all the time."

I pouted. "No fair! Why can't Matsu be with me all the time? I never see him!"

"Because you're not famous, Nozomi-chan."

"Yeah, I knew that…"

"We have not told them he's an officer, so please don't give him away," Ryuzaki said to Miso.

"But I don't want him as my manager," Miso whined.

"Miso!" I smacked him upside the head. "Don't talk to Matsu that way!"

Matsuda looked shocked. "What? What problem do you have with me, Miso-Miso?"

And with that, Aizawa finally spoke up. Actually, he yelled. "Dates, friends, Miso-Miso, whatever! Cut it out! This is the Kira case! Take it seriously!"

"Screw you!" I snapped at Aizawa. "We are taking it seriously, you bastard! Don't you think after nearly two months of being locked up, Miso and I are taking it pretty damn seriously!?"

"…"

"S…sorry…" Aizawa said. He glared up at Miso. "Amane, to your own room!"

"What? But I wanna hang out with Nozomi more-"

"TO YOUR ROOM, DAMMIT!"

"But-"

"No buts!" Aizawa pushed a fighting Miso over to the door.

"No! I wanna be with my girlfriend!" Miso complained. "Damn you! No! Nozomi-chan! I love you! Goodni-" Aizawa slammed the door on him.

"…"

"Nozomi-chan," Ryuzaki mumbled. "Are you seriously in love with Miso?"

I grimaced. "Oh, hell no! Like I said before, he keeps pressing-"

"Then can you pretend like you seriously love him back?" Ryuzaki asked. "There's no doubt that he has something to do with the second Kira…and that he is madly in love with you."

"You're telling me to get close to him and investigate the second Kira?" I asked.

"Yes. And a very big reason of why we released you was so we could investigate the second Kira through him," he continued.

"Ryuzaki," I said. "No matter how much of a bitch I appear to be, I can't toy with his feelings when he obviously loves me so much. Try to understand, to crush someone's feelings…I can't really do that. I like Miso a lot, but not romantically. I'm just pervy for him. But, then again, I'm pervy for all guys."

This made the other men fall awkwardly silent.

"I understand," he said. "But it would help us incredibly if you were to ask him to keep this a secret."

"Okay," I said. "But could we stop with all this hotel-hopping?"

"Yes, I've also wanted to do that for a long time," he agreed. "As soon as I showed by face to you, I started building. It'll be done in a few days."

"What'll be done?"

Ryuzaki went over to his laptop and typed something in. "This is it."

"Damn!" I gasped. There was an incredibly tall, blue building.

"Twenty three stories, all for the Kira investigation," L said. It's hidden from the outside, but there are two helicopters on the top. We will be living out of here as much as possible. If we decided to increase our numbers, it would be about sixty. Miso-san shouldn't complain if we give him an entire floor."

"Ryuzaki, where are the funds for this coming from?" Matsuda asked.

"I want to solve this case at all costs," Ryuzaki said.

"I want to solve this no matter what, too, Ryuzaki-kun," I agreed.

"If you say no matter what, can't you get closer to Miso-san?"

"…"

"I guess."

"Excellent."

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

"Okay, this is going to be a problem…"

Ryuzaki looked at me from the other side of the bed. "We have no other choice, Nozomi-chan."

I scowled. "This is really going to piss off Miso. You promise you won't rape me in my sleep?"

"Do I seem like that sort of person, Nozomi?"

"…"

"Fine."

I managed to fall asleep and slept peacefully through the night, dreams of yaoi and cake filling my head. When I woke up, I didn't open my eyes, wanting to fall asleep again. But then I realized my arms were wrapped around something warm. I didn't care what it was, but I loved it. I inhaled it's pleasing scent and snuggled closer.

"Um…Nozomi-chan?"

I slowly opened my eyes and gasped in horror. It was Ryuzaki I had been hugging, and he was staring at me like I was insane. I quickly backed away and accidently fell off the bed. "I-I'm sorry, Ryuzaki-kun!" I cried, blushing immensily. "I guess you were just so warm I thought I…I'm sorry."

He nodded and extended a hand. I realized it was to help me up. I took it and wobbily stood up. "It's quite alright, Nozomi-chan. You're father did tell me how you like to _grab_ things in your sleep…"

"That jackass…"

So, no matter how much I tried not to, I ended up cuddling up to Ryuzaki every night after that. He said he was fine with it, but I always found a hint of blush on his cheeks when I would wake up.

Yeah. This whole "chained together thing" was working _real_ well…

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

_A/N: This concludes yet another chapter of NYWLOD. Next time: Nozomi sneaks out…without L chained to her! (dramatic music plays). And L and Nozomi get drunk! Will L be a happy drunk or an angry drunk? Tune in next time to find out!_

_PS: I've decided not to hold the fanart contest unless someone decides to do it within a week. I now realize it was a stupid idea and a bit conceited to actually think someone would want to draw a picture of something in my story. I wasn't trying to be, but I suppose that's what others would probably think. I apologize. T_T_


	12. Party On Dude!

_A/N: Yay! Chapter 12! X3_

_I would like to thank michi-nin and Kawazoe Michiyo for being the first to decide to participate in the contest. That makes me really, really, really, really, REALLY happy! :3 _

_And, yes. If you were all wondering, the chapter name (Party on, Dude!) is, in fact, a reference to Bill and Teds' Excellent Adventure. And I know you're all wondering, and L will be…(durm roll)_

_A HAPPY DRUNK!! X3_

_And Nozomi and L will share something super special that I know you all have been anticipating. But you'll have to wait to the end to find out!!!!_

Nozomi Yagami's Wonderful Life of Doom

Chapter 12

Party On, Dude!

I decided I liked the building L had made. I liked it very, very much. In our room, we got a large bed so we wouldn't have to touch whatsoever. Miso liked that more than I did, really. But he didn't know about my "cuddling" problem. And there was a long hallway. I wanted to run down it so badly, but Ryuzaki wouldn't do the same. I also decided I hated being chained together with him.

After about a week, when we were in the large monitor room, I heard a familiar voice yell "Hey! Nozomi-chan!" When I heard the voice, I snapped my head up to look at one of the many monitors. And I saw three unforgettable faces.

"Nozomi-chan," Ryuzaki said. "Aren't those your three friends? How did the find you? You didn't give them this address, did you?"

"No…I don't know how they found me…" What were they, stalkers or something?

"Nozomi!" Minami called again, waving up to the camera.

"Can I let them in?" I asked Ryuzaki.

"I suppose. Don't tell them we're working on the Kira investigation, though."

"M'kay." I pressed one of the many buttons and the doors opened for them.

Keiko, Minami, and Saku-chan rushed into the building before the doors could even open the whole way. I was pissed that they had come here, but I had still missed my friends.

"EEEEEEE!!!" we all started squealing and got in a group hug. "Oh, god, it's been forever!"

"It's good to see you!"

"What's with the chain?"

"Why haven't you invited us over?"

"Again, what the hell's with the chain?"

"Come on! Join us!" Saku-chan said to Ryuzaki. It was apparent she still liked him. "When we were talking on the phone, Nozomi-chan said you were like family now!"

"Shut up, dumbass!" I hissed, pinching her arm.

L put a finger to his bottom lip. "You consider me to be family, Nozomi-chan?"

"…"

"So! What're you guys doing here?" I asked, trying to avoid Ryuzaki's gaze.

"We're going to Club Yaoi tonight," Keiko said. "It opened two weeks ago. They're having gay male strippers."

Club? Yaoi? Men? My three favorite things in one evening! Plus, I hadn't looked at any porn in at least three months. "Awesome!"

"Yeah! You should come too!" Minami said. "Why do you think we came over here in the first place?"

I grinned. "Oh, hell yeah!" But then I looked down at the handcuff on my wrist. "Wait…"

"So, what's with the chain anyway?" Keiko asked again. "Are you Ryuzaki-kuns' bitch or something?"

I gasped, feeling my face heat up. I heard a tiny chuckle from Ryuzaki. "Shut up! We're only chained together because he suspects me of being Kira."

"Nozomi…" Ryuzaki hissed. Oh yeah. I guess I forgot we weren't supposed to mention that to anyone.

"No way!" Sakurenbo gasped.

"But isn't Kira a guy?" asked Minami.

"Possibly," Ryuzaki said, licking a chocolate donut. "But I'm very sure it is Nozomi-chan. I would like to prove her innocence, though." He was about to say something else, but Keiko somehow managed to move across the room to stand in front of Ryuzaki, sending him death glares.

"Have you done dirty things to Nozomi in the midst of night?"

"Keiko!"

"No I have not," Ryuzaki said casually, as if it was a simple question.

Keiko stared him down for a moment before saying "he's innocent."

"Uh…yeah…" Sakurenbo said nervously. "So, you coming or what?"

"Ryuzaki-kun," I said, turning to the older detective. "Can we hang out with my friends tonight?" Yeah. That sounded weird.

"Nozomi-chan, though I am rather glad you want me there, not as if you have much of a choice, I'm afraid we cannot. We just received a number of papers and we have to go through them tonight."

"Aww! But I wanna hang out with my friends!" I complained like a whiny teenager.

"Sorry, Nozomi-chan."

"You never let me do ANYTHING!" I whined. "Can't I take the handcuff off for just one night?"

"…"

"Yeah, not the smartest thing to say, I know," I sighed. "But, please, Ryuaki-kun! I'm a girl, for crissakes! I have to hang out with my friends or I'll explode!"

"Sorry, Nozomi-chan," he said again, finishing off his plate of donuts.

All of my friends sighed in sync.

"Insensitive bastard…" Keiko hissed.

"Maybe next time, Nozomi-chan," Minami said with a shrug.

"…No," I whispered. "I'll be there."

"What? How!?" Saku-chan said rather loudly. Loudly enough for Ryuzaki to turn around, eyeing us suspiciously. "I mean…_How_ did you ever get chained together with someone so hot?"

This seemed to satisfy him, as he turned back to the monitors.

"Dumbass!" I growled, pinching her arm again. "But, listen. I promise I'll be at Club Yaoi tonight, without Ryuzaki. Don't ask questions, I just will."

They all exchanged glances.

"Alright," Keiko nodded.

"Good luck," Sakurenbo said.

"Bye, Ryuzaki-kun!" they all called. My three friends were about to

leave, Minami leading the way. But suddenly, someone opened the door and

she ran into him.

"Uh, sorry!" she gasped, backing away. "I…uh…"

"Um…hi, Minami-chan," Matsuda said, blushing as much as she was.

"Hi…" she mumbled back, staring at her feet shyly. "I…I haven't seen

you in a while, Matsu-kun…"

I cocked an eyebrow. "You guys saw each other after Aoyama?"

"Yeah," Matsuda said. "I frequently shop at the grocery store she works at, so…"

My eyebrow only raised higher. "But, Matsu, that's five miles from where you live. There's another place around the corner from your apartment."

"Oh, um, really?" he said, still blushing and trying to act oblivious. "I hadn't noticed it…"

"Matsuda loves Minami," Keiko, Saku-chan and I sang.

"Shut up!" Minami took a deep breath and looked back up at Matsuda.

"Look, I might as well do this now before I chicken out again, but…" A few

more deep breaths. "Do you…want to go out with me sometime?"

Now they were both maroon. "Um…sure…Yeah. I'd like to go out

with you…"

"Awesome…" Minami mumbled. Suddenly, her entire body froze.

"Aww, crap. She's paralyzed," Keiko sighed, taking one of Minami's

arms.

"She'll call you later," Saku-chan said, taking Minami's other arm.

"Bye!" They dragged Minami out of the building. When they were out front,

I saw on the cameras, Minami and Saku-chan started squealing like a couple

of school girls while Keiko merely clapped slowly.

"She totally likes you," I said to Matsuda.

"What? No…do you really think Nozomi-chan?"

"I think I know my best friend, Matsu," I said to him, smiling. And I

didn't mention it, but I had a feeling that Matsuda was going to be the real

"the one."

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDND

I had spent the last half hour watching Ryuzaki, making sure that he was sound asleep. It was weird enough that he could sleep sitting in that weird position, but this guy was a total heavy sleeper (though the seven sleeping pills I put in his cake probably had something to do with it…). I was just checking that he couldn't be awaken. I had shaken him, snapped my fingers in his ear, and even lit a match on his neck. This guy was as good as dead.

I began to rummage around in my nightstand. Eventually, I found the tiny box of tools I had stashed in there earlier when Ryuzaki was changing his shirt, which he had spilled tea on (but let me tell you, it was NOT easy, being that we were still chained together). I took out all the sharp stuff and began fiddling around with the keyhole on my handcuff. It took about five minutes, but I managed to get it off. I wanted to celebrate my awesome freedom when I realized the real reason why I risked taking it off in the first place. Quietly as possible, I changed my clothes into a black cocktail dress. Then I decided that was too dressy for a bar with gay men, so I decided to change into a regular gray T-shirt with Nagato on it and a jean skirt with the S.O.S. Brigade logo sewn onto the back pocket. I also took out my ponytails and turned them into big, flowy pigtails. And I took off my reading glasses. I hardly ever took those off. I grabbed my purse, about to leave, when I looked back at the sleeping Ryuzaki. He looked so peaceful, so quiet, so cute…

Wait! What the hell was I thinking?! This was the douchebag who thought I was Kira! But still…

I was betraying his trust. I had promised not to remove the handcuffs until Kira was caught.

No! Since when did I care about his feelings? Since when did I care about anyone's feelings? Taking a deep breath, I left the room. I silently tiptoed down the stairs into the investigation room, where Aizawa, Mogi and Matsuda had fallen asleep on the couches. Everyone else had gone home. Now I had to go super slow over to the door as not to wake them. I could always beg Matsu not to tell anyone, give him my 'I never get to hang out with my friends' sob story, or maybe the 'Please? Do it for me, Matsu' thing with the huge and cute eyes, or I could always threaten him, no matter how much I didn't want to. But Mogi and Aizawa weren't so soft. I slowly slithered over to the door. I began to open it --- when Matsuda stirred.

"Huh? Nozomi-chan?" he mumbled, looking up at me with sleepy eyes.

I suddenly panicked, thinking as quickly as possible. "Uh…This is a dream, Matsuda! I'm not Nozomi! I'm…uh…Billy Willy Wonka McSweeny Todd! You're in the Emerald City! The Wizard of…um…the Wizard of IHOP will kill you if you don't fall asleep! Hurry, Matsu, hurry!"

"Oh…okay…" Matsuda yawned before falling back to sleep.

I let out a shaky sigh. I really thought I was screwed just then! Quietly as possible, I managed to escape without anyone noticing me. My feelings of guilt washed away as I got a cab.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

"_Nazonazo mitai ni chikyuugi wo tokiakashitara_…"

"EEEH! HARE HARE YUKAI!"

My friends and I were watching a group of shirtless gay men dance to the ending song of Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu, as were about five hundred other girls with joy in their eyes. Even Keiko managed to let her eyes smile. But not me. Normally, I would be drunk by now, my shirt off and screaming "TAKE ME!" to one of the strippers. But not now. All I felt like doing was take a few sips of sake, discuss the latest yaoi with my friends, go back to the investigation building, and cuddle up with Ryuzaki in bed. I was feeling so crappy at the time, I didn't even care that I was fantasizing about snuggling up with him.

"…_Jikan ni narou yo. Byuuuun! Warp de loop_!" Minami stopped singing along with the men long enough to realize I wasn't jumping around like everyone else was. "Hey, Nozomi, what's wrong?" she asked.

"Yeah, normally you'd be starting a naked conga line on the tables by now," Keiko chimed in.

"That was one time!" I snapped. "And no one died, if you recall!"

"That doesn't explain why you're looking like such a sad sack," Sakurenbo said, nibbling on a big cookie. What the hell kind of stripper bar sells big cookies?

"I know, it's just…" I sighed. "I feel so bored."

"_Bored_?"

"At a gay strip club?"

"God will never forgive you!"

I sighed again. "I'm just not into it like I was before."

"What?"

"But that's crazy!"

"I think I know why."

We all averted our attention to Keiko, who was quietly sipping a soda. "Nozomi-chan, being that you're normally handcuffed to Ryuzaki-kun 24/7, have you by any chance seen him…_naked_?"

I blushed furiously as Saku-chan and Minami started squealing.

"Is it true?"

"I'll bet it is!"

"Shut up!" I demanded. I began to twiddle my thumbs, looking in the opposite direction. "Well…_once_…"

"OMG!" they all screamed, surrounding me.

"But it isn't like you think!" I cried. "He is such a freak! Ryuzaki's such a germaphobe, when we come back in from outside, he immediately takes off his 'contaminated' clothing with, like, no warning! The first time, I didn't realize quickly enough what he was doing until it was _all_ off."

"…"

"So was it big?"

I spat out my drink and coughed. "You bitch!" I snapped at Minami. "Don't even make me think about that, okay!? God it was so…so…" I shuddered.

"Well, that explains your problem," Keiko explained. "You've seen Ryuzaki-kun naked and now you're brain in convinced that he's all the ass you need."

"Eeeeew!" I groaned. "Dude, I was seriously _blinded_ for, like, four minutes after seeing him naked. I kind of don't want to see it again."

"Fine. X-nay on the naked-ay," my gothic friend said. "Imagine his pants are still on. Imagine all of the sexy muscles he probably doesn't have, but we're going to pretend he has for the time being."

I obeyed her and immediately blushed. Ryuzaki was sexy, even without the muscles.

"Ooh! Nozomi's blushing!" cried Minami. "That totally means you like to imagine him shirtless!"

"Shut up!" I said. "I'm a pervert, and you know it!"

"Then why isn't this turning you on?" Keiko asked, motioning to the (now naked) gay strippers.

I hesitated, not really knowing how to answer her question. "Can…can we just not talk about this right now?"

"Kay, fine."

"Hey, Mihama Fumika is throwing a cosplay party at her dad's country club tomorrow. Wanna come with us?"

"Why the hell does Japan even _have_ country clubs? It makes no sense…"

"Well, do you wanna or not?"

"That sounds fun…but no," I said sobery. "I feel really bad about betraying Ryuzaki's trust like this. I really hate myself right now."

"Cause you _love_ him…"

"Shut up, Saku-chan!"

"Well, then, bring Ryuzaki," Minami said with a shrug. "We're cosplaying the S.O.S. Brigade and I have a Kyon outfit if he'll wear it. I'm going as Haruhi."

"I'm Itsuki!" Saku-chan said.

"And I'll be Nagato," said Keiko.

"Yay! So I can be Mikuru?" I squealed.

"Not _just_ Mikuru. Combat waitress from the future Mikuru!"

"Yay!"

Eventually, around five a.m., I decided it was time to head back to headquarters. After tip-toeing past the others, I snuck up to the room Ryuzaki and I were forced to share. He was still sound asleep, looking all cute…

I smacked myself across the face before crawling back into bed. I snapped the handcuff back on my wrist before pulling the covers up and trying to fall asleep. Unfortunately, I was only to get a few hours of sleep before we had to get up.

"Nozomi-chan, it's morning," Ryuzaki said, yanking on the chain.

"Noooooo I'm tiiiiiired," I whined. He continued to pull. "I'm really starting to hate you." He only pulled harder. "Okay, I'm going to rip out your balls if you don't quit."

But then L just called Aizawa and Matsuda in to help him drag me downstairs.

"No! You sons of bitches!" I screamed, trying to wriggle out of their grasp. "Matsu! How could you betray me like this!? We're bestest friends, remember? REMEMBER!?"

"Sorry, Nozomi-chan," Matsuda mumbled. "It's Ryuzaki's order."

"NO!" I shrieked. "Ryuzaki, you son of a bitch! You've turned Matsuda over to the dark side!"

"Uh…what?"

"I HATE YOU ALL! YOU'LL BURN IN THE FIRE PITS OF HELL! HELL, I SAY! _HELL_!"

"You know, Nozomi, saying we're all going to die is rather incriminating," L said.

"BITE ME!"

I put up quite a fight that morning. By the time the men managed to drag me downstairs, I had bitten Aizawa, punched Ryuzaki in the face, and kicked Matsuda in the crotch. But those men were strong. Except Matsuda. He couldn't even stand up after I kicked him. I think I might have popped one of his testicles…

But I digress.

The whole day started off really suckish. The sound on my computer was broken, so I couldn't watch the latest Suzumiya no Haruhi episode. Crap. And second of all, I couldn't stop thinking "what a lucky cake" as Ryuzaki ate his delicacy.

"WRAAUGH! QUIT IT!" I screamed at myself, slapping myself across the face. Everyone suddenly stared at me.

"…"

"Sorry. Lack of sleep makes me spazz out sometimes."

"Well, then," Ryuzaki said, taking a bite of his brownie. "I suggest you don't waste the night at clubs with your friends."

"…"

"You knew?"

Ryuzaki nodded, not looking at me. "I discovered the sleeping pills you hid in my cake. Smart, Nozomi-chan, but not smart enough. I wasn't really asleep."

"What? B-But I lit a match on your frigging neck!"

"Yes, but I'm very good at withstanding pain, Nozomi." L finished off his chocolate delicacy and glanced at me. "Lucky for you, Nozomi-chan, Kira didn't kill anyone last night. If he had…well, you'd be in confinement all over again."

I sighed. "Thanks for not busting me."

"Please know, Nozomi-chan, if you ever remove the handcuff again, I will be forced to have you arrested."

I gulped and nodded. "That's perfectly understandable. I'm sorry for sneaking out. I just haven't gone out with my friends in a long time. I know that's no excuse and I'm sorry. Will you please forgive me? Pleeeeease?"

"…"

"Of course, Nozomi-chan."

I grinned. "Yay! Hey, speaking of my friends, do you want to go with us to a cosplay party tonight?"

"You're only asking because you know you can't take the handcuff off again," he said almost sadly.

"Nu-uh!" I said back. "I felt guilty about last night, so I wasn't even planning on it tonight. I want you there. Nothing's ever interesting without you around." And I meant it. I knew it in my heart that I had spent the entire previous night wishing Ryuzaki was there with me. We were, in fact, friends. "Besides, my friends wanted you to come. They totally love you."

"…Really?" he asked. I nodded. "Well, then. It appears you are no longer my only friend. Now there are three more. Keiko, Minami, and Sakurenbo," he said, raising a finger with each name. "This is excellent."

I grinned. "Oh, and by the way, we'll be cosplaying tonight."

"Cosplay?"

I began explaining to him about cosplay and what it meant to be an otaku. Then he asked what anime was to be cosplayed. I told him all about Suzumiya Haruhi no Yuutsu down to the very last detail.

"…So Suzumiya Haruhi is like a god?" he asked. I nodded. "A god…like…Kira?"

"Oh, you sick son of a-"

"It was a joke, Nozomi-chan."

"…"

"Well, then." I cleared my throat and blushed. "Um…so anyway…So Kyon, the person you'll cosplay, is like the main character."

"I thought Haruhi was the main character."

"Well, she is, but Kyon is like the narrator. He's in love with Yuki, Mikuru, and Haruhi."

"Really? And he admits this to them?"

"Well, not really. But you can just tell he loves Mikuru and Nagato. And it's common knowledge that he loves Haruhi. He loves Mikuru in the pervy way, Yuki because she saved him from Asakura, and he has a love-hate relationship with Haruhi."

"How can you hate a person and love them at the same time?"

"Well, you see, with Kyon and Haruhi…"

That turned out to be one of the greatest days of my life. I spent four hours answering his questions about the anime. They were strange questions like "why does Haruhi always insist on stripping Mikuru?" and "How did Haruhi get to be so cruel?" and "If Haruhi could change the world at will, then why didn't she do it years before?"

"But, wait, why didn't Asakura just kill Kyon when she first arrived in the human world?"

"Well, the thing about that is…"

"Hey, Nozomi-chan! Ryuzaki-kun!"

I sighed when I heard the voices of my friends. I was almost sad to have my time with Ryuzaki end like this. I hadn't even realized it was almost five p.m. My three friends rushed in the building after I unlocked the doors, dressed magnificently as the anime characters they were closplaying. Saku-chan was in the boy's school uniform of the anime, her short hair mussed up to looked like Koizumi's. Next to her, Keiko had on a long black cloak with a black witches' hat, complete with the wand. Her cat Bakura (he actually looked like Bakura from Yu-Gi-Oh…) was perched on her shoulder, glaring at us. If cats could talk, he would be damning us all to hell. And lastly, there was Minami wearing Haruhi's red bunny suit, the Brigade Band pinned onto her sleeveless costume, her hair designed just like Haruhi's (except blond). And her once long hair was cropped to her shoulders.

"Oh…My….God…" I mumbled. "EEEEEE! YOU LOOK SO CUTE!"

"Really?"

"You think?"

"Minami…" I said in awe. "You're hair…it's so pretty!"

She blushed. "Really? Thanks. It's for the costume. Besides…Matsu thought it was cute…"

Saku-chan sniggered. "Matsu?"

"…Quick! Change into your clothes!" Minami said, thrusting a brown paper bag into my arms. She tossed the other bag over to Ryuzaki. "Go! Go! Go!"

Ryuzaki and I went into the bathroom. He changed first as I averted my eyes, then I changed as Ryuzaki faced the wall. Once I was done, I looked back at L and, against my will, blushed. "Wow. You…You're the perfect Kyon."

He put his thumb to his bottom lip. I smiled at the childish quirk. "Really?"

"Yeah," I said, fixing the tie. "You…you look so handsome…" I laughed quietly. "Wow. I'm actually blushing. I never blush."

"Heh…well, you make a beautiful Mikuru."

I looked at myself in the mirror. I was combat waitress from the future Mikuru, but with black pigtails. I looked just like her.

Except I wasn't pretty.

"Thanks, Ryuzaki-kun…" I mumbled. "That means a lot. I know it isn't true, but…"

"What? Not true?" he asked.

"You can quit playing dumb, Ryuzaki," I said. "I know I'm not pretty and I never will be pretty. I was meant to be smart, not cute."

"I'm not lying, Nozomi-chan," he said. "I would not say it if I didn't mean it. You are an absolutely beautiful Asahina Mikuru and a gorgeous Yagami Nozomi."

I gulped. "Thank you…I…" I chuckled as not to cry. "Gorgeous? Gay…"

He chuckled as well. "So, shall we go?"

"Yeah, let's-a-go…"

We went back out to the investigation room. My friends immediately started to squeal.

"EEEEE! You look so adorable!" Minami said.

"Damn, Ryuzaki," Keiko said. "You're really sexy."

"I'm….sexy?"

"WOAH! Check out Ryuzaki-kun's butt!" Saku-chan gasped. "It's frigging adorable!" She reached out a hand and tried to squeeze it, but I smacked her upside the head.

"PERVERT!" I screamed at her.

Ryuzaki blushed.

"Don't mind them," I sighed. "They're perverts."

"That we are."

Suddenly, the door opened and in came Matsuda, carrying a few folders. "Ryuzaki, I was wondering, will…" He noticed Minami with her short-haired, perfect-body, big-boobied glory. He hid behind me shyly.

"Matsu, don't be shy." I said.

"I'm not being shy," he whispered. "I just don't want Minami to see the…um… "joy" she just gave me."

"…"

Ew.

"So, let's get going!"

We left the building and went out to Keiko's black Mercedes. Keiko always drove because she never drank alcohol, so there would always be someone sober behind the wheel. She, of course, got the front seat, Saku-chan got passenger. In the back, Minami got the left window seat, I was in the middle, and Ryuzaki was in the right window seat. Keiko started up the car and we sped down the highway.

"…You may not believe this, Nozomi-chan, but I've never been to a party before," Ryuzaki said to me.

"Oh, don't worry about it," I reassured him. "Just…act natural."

"Natural?"

"Natural."

"Hmm."

Minutes later, we arrived at the country club (seriously! Why the hell does Japan have country clubs?). The cosplay party was in the big courtyard with the pool and mini golf course. It was complete with glowing lanterns, punch and a table with various sweets.

"Oh, hey, guys!" Fumika greeted us at the gate. Mihama Fumika was the preppiest girl at To-oh. She liked _everyone_. Fumika was cosplaying Ed from the anime Fullmetal Alchemist, complete with the hair and costume. Her right arm was painted gray. I suppose that was for the robotic arm. "I'm so glad you came! Hey, who's this?" she asked, pointing at Ryuzaki. He was about to answer, when she said "Oh, yeah! You're that weird guy, Hideki Ryuga, right?"

"Weird guy…?"

"Yeah, this is Ryuga," I said.

"Awesome!" she said, grinning. "Well, have fun!" Fumika left to go dance with her boyfriend, Ichira Ranmaru, who was cosplaying Ichigo from Bleach. God, even the preppy and annoying girls had boyfriends.

"Don't mind her," I said to Ryuzaki. "She talks before she thinks. You're not weird, Ryuzaki-kun. You're a bit strange, but not weird."

He flashed me a tiny smile. "Thank you, Nozomi-chan."

"Wa-hoo!" Saku-chan cried.

"Let's have some fun and rape some men!" Minami yelled, rushing away with Keiko and Sakurenbo.

"Um…are you really going to rape men?" Ryuzaki asked me.

"No. It's just an inside joke, don't worry about it."

"So, what do you _do_ at parties?" he asked.

"Well…um…" I looked around. Now that I really thought about it, there wasn't actually a point to parties, was there? "Um…hey, I know! Let's go get some cake? You want some cake?"

"Nozomi-chan, I always want cake."

So we went over to the food table. We each got a large piece of white cake with tons of frosting. I also grabbed us a couple glasses of punch. Ryuzaki and I went over to a table.

"It'll get more exciting," I said. "I promise."

He nodded, taking a large bite of cake. "I find it to be very exciting now. So many people…"

Suddenly, the Japanese version of Avril Lavigne's 'Girlfriend' suddenly turned to Chieko Kawabe's 'Be Your Girl.'

"Oh my god, you SO have to dance with me!" I said to Ryuzaki.

He coughed and looked up at me. "Nozomi-chan wants me to…I'm afraid I don't know how to…"

"Oh, that's okay!" I said. "For this song, all you have to do is shift your weight from foot to foot. Like everyone else." And everyone else was doing just that. "Pleeeeeeeease, Ryuzaki?"

"…"

"Alright."

"Yay!"

I grabbed his hand and pulled him out to the dance floor. "Okay, you put your hand here…" I pulled his hands down so they were on my waist, "and I put my hands here…" I wrapped my hands around his shoulders. "See? It's simple."

"…I like this," he said after a long pause.

I smiled and buried my face in his chest. "…I like you a lot, Ryuzaki…"

"What was that, Nozomi-chan?"

I flushed. Did I really just say that? "Um it's nothing…"

_Why the hell did I say that? It's not like I feel that! Ryuzaki and I are just friends, and that's only some of the time!_

_Right?_

The song suddenly ended and I broke away from Ryuzaki, feeling irrevocably embarrassed.

"Is something wrong?" he asked me, a thumb held to his bottom lip.

"No…it's nothing…" I mumbled, trying to avoid his gaze. "I…I'm thirsty, let's sit down."

"Alright."

We went back over to the table and sat down. I sat as far away from him as the chain would let me. I felt embarrassed. I felt confused. I wouldn't say that if I didn't mean it, so why the hell did I tell him I liked him a lot? I didn't…did I? I always figured that when I fell for a boy (or girl, depending on the situation), I would know that I liked him. I would know that I wanted him. And I would know if he was right.

So why didn't I know anything?

"Well, that was certainly a strange experience," Ryuzaki said.

I took a sip of punch. "You…you were good, for your first time. I guess you are good at everything."

"Not true, Nozomi-chan," he said, sipping the punch himself. "I'm simply terrible at tongue twisters."

I laughed. I forgot all about the words I had said nearly twenty minutes ago and decided to smile. Screw mixed feelings. I would sort that out later. Besides, I felt lightheaded. I suddenly realized how pale Ryuzaki looked. "Hey, you're not catching a cold, are you?"

"No," he reassured me. "There's just something wrong with this punch, I believe." He suddenly swayed and fell out of the chair.

"Hey! You okay!?" I said.

He only laughed. "That was…cool."

I raised an eyebrow. When the hell did L start using such small and uneducated words? "Now that you mention it, this does taste a little weird…" I took a long sip. I couldn't detect anything, so I tried it once more. Still nothing. I tried it a third time. And my blood ran cold.

It was spiked.

"Oh god!" I gasped. "There's sake in here! Ryuzaki, how many have you had?"

"I don't know…twelve…" he mumbled, his words slurred.

Well, this was flipping great. We were both drunk. I had only had four glasses of the spiked drink, but I was still feeling a little dizzy.

"Ryuzaki-kun, you're drunk," I whispered.

"N-No!" He stood up wobbily. "I-I swear to drunk I'm not God." He suddenly slung his arm around me, grinning drunkishy. "Hey, Nozomi, you're really {CENCOR} pretty, you know?"

I rolled my eyes. "Aww, frick, you're a happy drunk…"

He groaned. "Nozomi-chan…"

"Yeah, what is it?" I asked quietly.

"I believe another side effect is…regurgitation…"

Two minutes later, we were in a bathroom stall, Ryuzaki vomiting in the toilet as I crouching behind him, holding back his hair.

"I am n-never…(vomit noises)… going to a party with you again!" Ryuzaki coughed before throwing up again.

I began rubbing his back in little circles, trying to relieve some of the pressure. "I'm so sorry…" I whispered.

"Okay…I'm done," he said in a weak voice. The older detective could barely keep his balance.

"Come here…" I moved so he could rest his head in my lap. "You feeling any better?" I asked quietly, gently stroking his hair.

"You're warm, Nozomi-chan…" he mumbled. And I couldn't help but think…

_Ryuzaki is so sweet when he's drunk._

"I'll have someone come get us, okay?" I whispered. I pulled out my phone and just picked a random contact.

"Hello?"

…

Okay, when the hell was Watari's number programmed into my phone?

"Watari-san," I said. "Ryuzaki and I are-"

L suddenly grabbed the phone from me. "Watari? Hey, Watari! How's it going?"

I took the phone back.

"Miss Nozomi, is Ryuzaki…drunk?"

I sighed. "Yeah."

"I'll be there shortly."

He hung up.

"N…Nozomi-chan…"

After hanging up, I looked back down at Ryuzaki, who I was cradling like a child. "Yeah?"

…

"You're my best friend."

I know it was the alcohol talking, but Ryuzaki seemed so…cute.

And before I knew it, I was slowly leaning in. Before I could refuse, my lips were gently pressed to his. I was eighteen, but that was my first kiss, even though he wasn't conscious for it. Well, there was my kiss with Miso, but that didn't mean anything.

This did.

After breaking away, I smacked myself across the face…and realized what the hell I had just done.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

Fortunately for me, Ryuzaki couldn't remember anything past the dancing.

_Un_fortunately, I did.

But, then again, I had a hangover. How did I know I really did kiss Ryuzaki? For all I knew, that could have been some bizarre-o dream. But then again _again_…

I could still remember the feeling of his lips.

It was the next day and Ryuzaki and I were still in bed with killer hangovers. He was actually laying down for the first time, an ice pack on his forehead.

"Nozomi-chan," he mumbled. "It's already noon. We should start on the case now…"

"No way," I said. "You look like crap, so I could only assume you feel like it too. Just get some sleep, okay? I'm sure we can skip one day."

"…"

"Just this once."

I smiled tiredly. "So, aside from getting drunk, did you have fun last night?"

"Yes. It was quite exciting."

"Hey…Minka Takino is having a party next week-"

"No."

I chuckled lighty. "Fine. But I suggest we sleep off these hangovers."

"I agree with you, Nozomi-chan."

I cuddled up to him, legs wrapped around his waist so he couldn't move away from me and face in his chest. Mixed feelings be damned. "Wow, you're warm…" I whispered.

After hesitating a moment, Ryuzaki wrapped his arm around me as well, pulling me closer.

And we fell asleep that way.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

_A/N: This concludes the 12__th__ chapter of Nozomi's story. I hope you were all happy with how I portrayed a drunken L. I was thinking of making him go all crazy like Rock Lee in Naruto when he got drunk, but I don't really think L would ever act that way, even if he was drunk._

_And the song Nozomi and L were dancing to I a real song. It's the ending theme to 'Elfen Lied'. If you listened to it, you'd see it really is quite the romantic song. And, yes. They have dubbed 'Girfriend' into Japanese. Look it up._

_Next time:_

_Nozomi and L have a bit of a…confrantation. And L kicks a girl! (El Gasp!)_

_Tune in next time to see what happens!_


	13. The Ultimate Battle Between Nozomi and L

_A/N: yay! Thirteenth chappie! X3 _

_Please enjoy and, yes. Like I said in the last chapter, L will kick Nozomi. That bastard! Doesn't he know about the 'no hitting girls' rule? XD_

Nozomi Yagami's Wonderful Life of Doom

Chapter 13

The Ultimate Battle Between Nozomi and L

All I have to say about that sunny Sunday afternoon was… it could have gone better.

Miso and I were supposed to be on a (forced) date up in his room. He wanted to do, ahem, 'intercourse,' but lucky for me I couldn't get over three feet away from Ryuzaki. Unlucky for me, Miso was super pissed off. To make matters worse, my friends showed up out of nowhere. I commanded them to leave, but they reminded me I had said that Sunday was 'our day' to just hang out around the building as they told me the latest gossip in To-oh.

"…So Sakaki Haruna is pregnant!"

"No frigging way!"

"Yeah! With Sohma Sejii's baby!"

"But I thought he was gay?"

"He is. With Sakaki Hayate, Haruna's big brother!"

"EEEEEE!! No way!"

"Do females always squeal about random stuff like this?" Ryuzaki asked Miso.

"All the time, Ryuzaki…all the frigging time…" Miso sighed. "God, this has to be the lamest date I've ever been on…"

"Oh, yeah." I turned to my female friends. "You three, go stand in the corner for the next two minutes!"

"Got it…" the obeyed and went over to sit in the corner, still watching with interest.

"Better?"

"No…" Miso said, glaring at Ryuzaki.

"Oh, please, don't mind me, I'm not even here," Ryuzaki said, taking the final bite of his cake. "Hey, are you going to eat that cake?"

"Cake makes you fat," Miso said with a shrug. "I'm not going to eat it."

"Actually, I find that you can burn calories by using your brain," Ryuzaki said.

"So now you're calling me stupid!?" Miso snapped. "Fine, I'll give you the cake, but only if you leave Nozomi-chan and me alone."

"Please don't leave us alone," I whispered to Ryuzaki frantically.

"Even if I were to leave you alone, we'd still be watching on the cameras," Ryuzaki said.

"You pervert!" Miso cried. "Could you stop it with your creepy hobby?!"

"Call me what you want," Ryuzaki said, reaching to the other side of the table. "Last chance for cake." Without waiting for a response he took the cake.

"Fine, then! I'll just turn off all the lights and close the curtains!"

"We have inferred cameras in here, you know."

"Hey, what's wrong with you?" I asked Ryuzaki. "I thought the point of us moving here was so we could catch Kira. But you don't look all to motivated to me."

"Not motivated? …You're right," Ryuzaki said in a bored voice. "Actually I'm a little depressed."

"Depressed because Nozomi-chan doesn't love you…"

"Shut up, Saku-chan!" I yelled over at my friend. "Now, go to your corner!"

"But I-"

"CORNER!"

She obeyed.

"So, why're you depressed?" I asked him.

"Well…" he took a bite of cake. "Truthfully, all this time I thought you were Kira, and my entire case depended on that fact. I guess I just can't get past that my deduction was wrong." He gulped. "But, having said that, I'm still suspicious of you. That's why we're wearing these," he said, raising his handcuffed hand. "We also know that Kira can control actions. He might have controlled your actions so we would suspect you. If it is true that you and Miso were controlled…then everything makes more sense to me."

"It's been two minutes," Minami said, jumping back onto the couches with Keiko and Saku-chan.

"So, you think Miso and I were controlled by Kira when we were suspected of being Kira."

"Yes. I can say with certainty that you two are Kira," he continued. "I know that Nozomi-chan was Kira when we put her in confinement, and it isn't mere coincidence that the killings stopped once we locked you up. Everything until then pointed to you. But then after two weeks, criminals actually began dying again. It has occurred to me that Kira's power transfers from person to person. So if we tried to imprison said person, it would do no good."

"Well, we don't know that," I said. "There's no possible way to know if that's the case. Cheer up, would you?"

"Cheer up? No, I'm sorry, I can't." Ryuzaki put his index finger in his mouth. "It's probably best if I stop trying so hard. By chasing Kira so desperately, we're only risking our lives for nothing. Yes, it's just a waste of time."

I stood up, my body nearly shaking in anger. "Ryuzaki…"

He looked up at me. "Huh?"

I pulled my arm back and punched him right in the face. He fell back, the chain pulling me too. We knocked the table over. Miso gasped while my friends began making bets.

"I got a thousand yen on Nozomi-chan!"

"Two thousand yen on Ryuzaki-kun."

"Are you crazy? Look at how scrawny he is!"

"Yeah, but Nozomi's super weak."

"She just took him out now, didn't she?"

Ryuzaki sat up and looked at me. "You know, that really hurt."

"Would you just shut up already!?" I snapped. "That's enough! You don't feel like doing anything, just because your genius deduction was wrong?"

"Fine, perhaps I phrased that the wrong way," he said, rubbing the cheek I had punched. "I meant it would be pointless for us to make a move, so we shouldn't even bother."

"If we don't chase Kira, she'll never be caught! Is that what you want!?" I demanded.

"Ooh, all we need is popcorn now…"

"Shut up, Saku-chan…"

"If you were just going to give up, then why did you involve all those innocent people!?" I demanded. I grabbed his collar. "And more importantly, what was the point in putting Miso and me behind bars!?"

"I understand…" he mumbled. "But still…whatever the reason…"

I was shocked by what happened next. Ryuzaki kicked me. Right in the jaw. Didn't he know about the 'guys can't hit girls' rule?

"An eye for an eye, my friend."

I staggered back, pulling him on the chain with me. I fell on the couch, Ryuzaki right on top of me. The couch fell over and we were thrown to the floor.

"Ooh! Nevermind! Four thousand yen on Ryuzaki-kun!"

"God! Don't you know you're not supposed to hit girls!?" I yelled.

He sat up and looked at me with a glare. "It doesn't matter if my deduction was wrong. The point is, I am positive that Yagami Nozomi is Kira and Amane Miso is the second Kira, but that won't be enough to solve the case. And that's why I'm a little depressed. Is that so hard to understand?"

"Yes. Yes it is!" I said, staggering to my feet. "But you should listen to yourself! It's as if you won't be satisfied unless I am Kira!"

"Not satisfied unless you are Kira?" he said in a serious voice. "Well, there may be some truth to that. In fact, I think I wanted you to be Kira."

I punched him again, this time right in the face. He didn't move, so I kicked him in the crotch too. God, this guy had balls of steel!

"Boo!"

"Minus two points for hitting below the belt."

"Um...points?"

"As I said before, an eye for an eye," Ryuzaki said, quivering with the pressure of my fist. "And I'm a lot stronger than I look, you know."

"Really?" I smirked. "In case you didn't notice, strong men know how to hold their liquor," I teased, knowing that he was sensitive about letting himself get drunk at the party we had gone to the previous month.

Ryuzaki spun around and kicked me in the jaw again. I punched him in the gut, he kicked me in the shin. After he kicked me right in the face, I staggered back and my eyes filled with painful tears.

"God, that really hurt, man!" I snapped, rubbing my cheek, letting the tears stream down my face. "Wh-Why would you do that?"

His expression softened. "What? My apologizes, Nozomi-chan, I'm sorry…" he came over to look at my cheek, and I punched him and hard as I could.

"God, you actually fell for the crying girl trick!?" I sniggered. "You're even more of a dumbass then I thought!" He had fallen against the wall, so I grabbed his collar again, about to punch him, when…

"No, stop it! That's enough!" Saku-chan cried, rushing forward to stop us. Unfortunately, she tripped on the table and accidentally pushed me…right into Ryuzaki. "…What?"

Have any of you readers seen Naruto episode 3? Remember when that kid accidenly shoved Naruto and made him kiss Sasuke? Yeah. It was like that…except it wasn't sexy.

I slowly backed away from Ryuzaki, our lips parting silently. I stared at him, he stared at me. The room was completely silent (except from Miso cursing under his breath).

"R…Ryuzaki…" I mumbled.

"…"

"Well, I'm going to get more cake," he said casually as if nothing ever happened. He got up, expecting me to follow him, but stopped when the chain tugged. Ryuzaki turned back to me. "Nozomi-chan? What's wrong?"

I was staring at him, my body shaking and my lip quivering. "What's wrong? What the hell do you think is wrong? We just sucked face and you're acting as if it's nothing!"

"Well, it was nothing."

My eyes swelled with tears and I broke down. I hated that son of a bitch more than I hated sugar free candy. And that was a lot of hate.

"Hey!"

"Nozomi-chan!"

My friends rushed over to hug me while Miso just stared at me with confused eyes.

"You insensitive bastard!" Minami yelled at Ryuzaki.

"Have you no soul!?" demanded Saku-chan.

"I'll make you burn in hell for this," Keiko hissed.

"Hmm?" Ryuzaki mumbled, putting a thumb to his bottom lip. "What did I do wrong?"

He didn't do anything wrong.

There was just something wrong with me.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

Things were full of tension between us for the rest of the day. An hour later, while Ryuzaki sat at one of the computers, I was crying my eyes out into Matsuda's chest. He kept mumbling "it's okay…" Why the hell did guys only say 'it's okay' when girls cried? It made no sense to me. Meanwhile, my dad was ranting to Ryuzaki about how girls are more emotional than men and take a kiss very seriously, but Ryuzaki was doing nothing short of tuning him out. Aside from that, Miso was screaming his head off at L for kissing me. The detective continued to mention that he didn't kiss me, but it made no difference to Miso. Eventually, Ryuzaki had Aizawa and Matsuda "escort" Miso back up to his room. After Matsu left and I didn't have a shoulder to cry on anymore, I merely glared at Ryuzaki.

He noticed, put down his forkful and cake, and wheeled his chair over to me. "By any chance, is something bothering you, Nozomi-chan?"

I scowled even more. "What do you think?"

"Perhaps you should vent about your problem. I hear that's a good way to make a person feel better."

I growled. "The problem is you!"

He cocked his head to the side. "Me? What did I do?"

"Uh, the kiss! Ring a bell!?"

"Ah…" he nodded. "But as I already explained to Miso-san, I did not kiss you. It was a mere accident."

"I _know_!" I groaned. "I know you didn't kiss me! The problem is that you seemed not to care!"

He raised an eyebrow. "Is a kiss something you _should_ care about?"

I nodded, trying to make myself calm down. "Yes, Ryuzaki. A kiss should be a big deal. Even if it was accidental, we still have to talk about it."

"Well, what's the point in talking about it when it meant nothing?"

My eyes were blurred with tears. "Because maybe it meant something to ME!" I yelled, louder than I had wanted.

Suddenly, all the men turned to stare at me.

"Just screw it…" I mumbled, beginning to sob. I pulled my legs to my chest like Ryuzaki and just cried as quietly as physically possible. I suddenly felt someone gently touch my hand. I looked back at Ryuzaki.

"…I'm sorry if it means more than I thought," he said. "In case you haven't noticed, I'm not exactly a genius when it comes to common knowledge about romance and stuff like that."

"It wasn't romance…" I managed to mumble.

"Right. Exactly."

I glared over at the other men, which was my sign that I wanted them to get the hell out of there. They obviously got the message and left the room immediately. Though, I saw on the monitors, that Matsuda was listening at the door.

I took a deep breath. "I'm overreacting," I said. "I'm only making such a big deal about this because…" I looked at him. "I…I like you a lot. More than you like me. And that's what bugs me. That's why I'm so pissed. Look, I don't think you remember this, but when you were drunk at that party last month…" I sighed. "I kissed you. I don't know why, and I don't know how, but all I know is that it happened. And, I want to deny it, but I can't…I liked it."

There was a deep silence.

"So…Nozomi-chan…is professing her love to me?"

"…"

I chuckled nervously. "What? No! I was talking about cake! Why, what'd you hear? GOSH!" I turned back to my computer, suddenly realizing what a hell of a mistake I had just made. "You know, you should really get more sleep. You're starting to snap, man."

"…"

Yeah. Not the greatest cover-up. But, hell, it was all I had.

"Hmm…" he mumbled. "I could have sworn I heard Nozomi-chan say-"

Ah, the hell with it.

I leaned into him, not allowing him to finish that sentence. I locked my lips with his, not caring what happened afterward. Ryuzaki merely blinked in shock before closing his eyes as well. And, to _my_ shock, he kissed me back. Once it was over, we just stared at each other, dreamy looks on our faces.

But then we realized what we did.

He wheeled back over to his computer, neither of us looking at each other. "That never happened," he mumbled.

"What never happened? Nothing happened!"

"Yes! Nothing happened whatsoever!" he agreed.

"Yeah, just looking into the Kira case," I said, clicking a few things on my computer. "Why? What'd you think happened?"

"Nothing aside from looking into Kira."

"Exactly!"

But, of course, something did happen. And that made it incredibly awkward between us. For more than a few days.

For a month. For one long, awkward, agonizing month.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

_A/N: This concludes the 13__th__ chapter of Nozomi's story. Next time: _

_Matsuda jumps off a building…and LIVES!!!_

_And will things ever get back to normal between L and Nozomi? Has their relationship ever __**been**__ normal in the first place? Tune in next time to find out! ~_^_


	14. The Suckiness Continues

_A/N: Finally! The Task Force finally have a lead as to who Kira is! FINALLY! Seriously, it took two frigging months to figure out it was Yotsuba. Dumb-fricks…_

_And in this chapter, L and Nozomi…WILL HAVE SEX!!_

_LOL, jk, they won't. XD But Matsuda DOES fall off a building. That's entertainment right there. ;D_

_And to answer Michi-nin's question, yes. Just send me the link in the "SEND MESSAGE' button on my page. Thank you all and I hope you enjoy reading this chapter. X3_

Nozomi Yagami's Wonderful Life of Doom

Chapter 14

The Suckiness Continues

Like I said before; one long, awkward, agonizing month later…

I was looking through the files on the computer when I suddenly realized something…

"Ryuzaki! Take a look at this!" I said. He wheeled his chair over to me, getting a little too close. I blushed and backed away a little, he did the same.

"Hey, are things still awkward between those two?" I heard Matsuda mumble.

"Shut up, Matsuda!" Aizawa hissed. "They don't know we were listening at the door!"

But, of course, I did know. If I didn't know, that wouldn't have made any sense to me whatsoever. But it did. So, logically, I did know. You know?

Anyway.

"Look at this," I said. "All of the latest killings in the past month were Japanese businessmen. Or CEOs whose leaders were leading in the business industry. There's been a downturn in business, with the exception of Yotsuba. So, in other words, these deaths have been benefiting Yotsuba. I can only assume that Kira is supporting Yotsuba." I smiled. "Are you feeling a bit more motivated now?"

A couple hours later, I was playing the Suzumiya Haruhi game on my DS when Ryuzaki glanced over at me. "Nozomi-chan, aren't you supposed to be, you know…working?"

I shrugged. "Dude, this IS working. I'm almost on level seven and then I get the super awesome Brigade Band. I _am_ working on something."

"I meant the case…"

"I'll do that after I get Mikuru's bunny outfit…"

"…"

Ryuzaki grabbed the DS out of my hands with his thumb and index finger, turned away from me, and turned it off.

"NO! YOU SON OF A BITCH!" I screamed and glomped him. Not the greatest way to resolve a situation, but whatever. We were on the floor now. I was trying to grab my game system and Ryuzaki was holding it high above his head, not allowing me to get at it. Eventually, my screaming turned to laughing, and even he laughed a little. This was the kind of situation I felt like kissing him again. I was about to when suddenly…

"Um…."

We suddenly realized my father and Mogi had returned.

"…"

Ryuzaki and I stood up quietly and got back in our chairs, focusing on the computers. He tossed me my DS and I shoved it in my hoodie pocket.

"Oh, hi, Chief! Mogi!" Matsuda said. "Hey, you'll never guess what Nozomi-chan figured out! She has a theory that Kira may be involved with the Yotsuba group!"

My dad started going on about something or other, but I wasn't really paying attention. I was twiddling my thumbs, trying to make sense of what had just happened. I had actually wanted to kiss Ryuzaki. That was a bit troubling.

"If you want my opinion, you'd be better off as police officers."

I turned to Ryuzaki, who had started talking. I had no idea what he was talking about, but I was trying to make sense of it anyway.

"Although I am grateful to you for the time you've taken to work on this case, I was alone when I started this case. And I know I can do it alone."

"No way!" I said. "Ryuzaki, as long as I'm alive, you're not going to work on this case alone!" And I meant it. I didn't want to admit it, but I wasn't continuing to work on the Kira case so we could catch him. I think I was working on it so I could be close to L.

"That's right. I'll have Nozomi working with me until I catch Kira, so I won't be alone after all," Ryuzaki said.

"Besides, this building's too huge for just four people!" I continued. "Do you really wanna waste tax payers money? HUH!?"

"Nozomi-chan, please leave this to me."

"Right. Sorry."

"But as I said, I think the rest of you should remain as police officers."

"But when you contacted us, you said you needed the help of the police to solve this case!" my father objected.

"That's because the police is an organization who were still hoping to arrest Kira," Ryuzaki said, popping a couple of cherries into his mouth. "They weren't bowing to him. And with all due respect, the help of one or two people is a lot different then the entire police force. Besides, the police have made their position clear. They don't want to arrest Kira." Ryuzaki pulled the cherry stem out of his mouth. It was in a knot. I wasn't really surprised though. He _was_ an excellent kisser.

"I see what you're saying," dad said. "If we're not police officers anymore, we won't be of much use to you. But after all we've sacrificed, I think we should make the decision to stay or go back to the police force."

"Good point. And by all means, please make your decision."

The men began discussing it amongst themselves, and as they did I stared at the knot which was Ryuzaki's cherry stem. "…Hey, you know that means you're a good kisser."

He looked up at me, then the stem. "I don't really like to trust discards of fruit. Do _you_ think I am?"

"…"

"I most certainly do."

"Well, then. You're an excellent kisser yourself."

"…Heh…thanks…"

We were both blushing up at this point.

"Ryuzaki…" Aizawa said to him. "Is there any way I could keep my job as an officer and still work on the case?"

"There isn't. If you remain an officer, I have to ask that you don't return here," L said, popping a few more cherries into his mouth.

"But I won't leak any information-"

"I won't be sharing any of our information. If you want, you could chase Kira on your own, but I can't see how that's a good idea."

"But…but the chief has a family too!" Aizawa said.

"Our situations are completely different," dad said.

Boring. Yeah, I just turned back to playing my DS. But, apparently, in the time I had defeated the Kuppa King, Aizawa had quit and L hired two criminals to work on the case. Man, I need to pay attention more…

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

About a week later, I was sitting at one of the computers, staring off into space, as usual. Normally I would be thinking about if I were Kira or not, but not now. Now I was thinking of Ryuzaki. I found myself doing that a lot lately. I was thinking of why I was thinking about him, but I just couldn't seem to think of the answer. I just…_was_.

"What's wrong?" Ryuazaki asked. "You've been staring at me for the last two minutes."

I blushed. "Uh, s-sorry, I guess I didn't realize…"

"Wait, let me guess, you're annoyed because I'm the only one eating cake at the moment, am I right?"

"No, that's not it…" I mumbled.

"Here," he said, offering his cake to me.

"Really, don't worry about it," I said with a tiny smile. Though I really did want some cake…

A couple hours later, I was surfing the internet for the latest Yaoi (Ryuzaki thought I was looking into the Kira chatrooms for possible info) when a large 'W' came onto the screen and there was a beeping. "Yes, what is it, Watari?"

"I have just received an emergency signal from Matsuda's belt."

_That_ got my attention. I snapped my head away from the computer to stare at the W. "Wait, does that mean he's in trouble!? Where is he!?"

"It seems as though the signal…is coming from the head office in the Yotsuba group."

My blood ran cold.

"Matsuda, you idiot…" Ryuzaki said in an annoyed tone.

"Shut up!" I snapped at him. "Yes, we all know Matsuda's an idiot, but I think it's more important that we, oh, I don't know, GET HIM OUT ALIVE!!" I gulped and felt my eyes swell with worried tears. "Listen to me. I know he's older, but Matsu is like a little brother to me. I love him like family, so we HAVE to do something, please, Ryuzaki!"

He hesitated, staring into my teary eyes. "…I'll think of something."

I sighed in relief.

Minutes later, he took out his cell phone and dialed Matsuda's number. It rang and rang and rang…

"Uh, hello?"

I nearly cried out in happiness when I heard Matsuda's voice. This meant he was still alive.

"Yo, Matsui!" Ryuzaki said in a skater accent. "It's Asahi!"

"Oh, yeah, Asahi! It's been a while!" Matsuda said.

"Hey, it doesn't sound like you're out, don't tell me you've gone home already. So, you by yourself?"

"Yeah, I'm by myself."

Ryuzaki covered up the receiver. "He's not with Miso right now. Matsuda must be on his own." He turned back to the phone. "So, do you wanna, like, go out drinking tonight?"

"Uh, right now? Oh, sorry. I'll have to pass tonight."

"Oh, what's the matter?" Ryuzaki said. "Is your wallet _in trouble_ again?"

"Yeah, that's right!" Matsuda said. "Big troubles with money! You know me way to well!"

"Matsuda's in big trouble," Ryuzaki said away from the receiver.

I gasped. "Well, figure out how to save him!" I hissed.

"Well, that's too bad," L said into the phone. "Guess I'll drag you out some other time, see you, buddy." He hung up.

"Why the hell did you do that!?" I snapped. "He might be in real big trouble! They might be ready to kill him!"

"If the Yotsuba members were to kill him, he wouldn't have answered, don't you think?" Ryuzaki asked. He continued when I didn't answer. "Call Miso. And do it quickly."

I pulled my cell phone out of my pocket and dialed Miso's number. It rang and rang and rang…

"Hello?"

"Miso!" I said. "Listen, Matsuda's in-"

"Just kidding! Hey, you've reached Miso, I'll call you back later." The voicemail ended.

"DAMMIT!" I hissed. "Miso, it's Nozomi. Call me back when you get this, got it!?" I hung up. "Well, what're you planning to do, Ryuzaki?" I demanded of him. I was about ready to kill this guy if he didn't figure out a plan to save Matsu.

"Well, we have to consider that if Matsuda dies, our suspicions about the Yotsuba group would be confirmed."

I growled. "You BASTARD! Don't even think about leaving Matsu alone in this. If he dies, there is no way in HELL I'm working on this case anymore, got it? Until you catch Kira, I'll make every day of your life a living nightmare! Now either you think of a way to get Matsuda out of there alive, or I'm going to knee you until your balls pop!"

Ryuzaki turned to look at me. "Let's just watch the situation for the time being."

"You…you insensitive jerk…" I mumbled. "How can you just watch when Matsu's in a life or death situation? I was so wrong about you…"

He turned back to me. "Just wait. I promise you, we'll save Matsuda, just please stop crying, Nozomi-chan."

My cell phone suddenly beeped. I grabbed it and answered before it could even ring twice. "Miso!" I gasped. "Thank god! Miso, you're not with Matsuda at the moment, are you?"

"Him? He's a total jerk! He just ran off and left me here! Oh, hang on, I'm getting a call on my work phone…"

"DAMMIT, MISO!" I cried.

"Oh, hey! It's from Matsu!"

"Miso's just received a call from Matsuda!" I said to Ryuzaki.

"Tell him to hold the phone up so we can hear."

"Miso, when you're done filming, come over to the Yotsuba head office!" Matsuda said. "There's a chance you may be able to appear in Yotsubas' commercials."

"What!? For real!?" Miso gasped. "You're amazing, Matsu, the best manager ever!"

Ryuzaki tugged on my sleeve. "Nozomi…there is a chance we may be able to save Matsuda."

I scowled. "You said you promised!"

"I'm sorry about that. But we can only save him with Miso's help. He'll do anything you say, right?"

"Of course. He's like my pet."

"Here's what I need you to tell him…"

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

Luckily, Miso had convinced about a dozen girls from the agency to come with him to Yotsuba headquarters. That was only part of Ryuzaki's plan. The other part scared me half to death, and I had to accept the fact…

_Matsuda might die_.

I was watching from the camera in the room they were in. My heart was pounding as the night went on. Miso's lady friends were entertaining the Yotsuba men, while he was looking to see if there were any gay ones for him to entertain. Aside from that, Miso was pretty much useless. I kept a close eye on Matsu, making sure he was alright. After an hour or so, he went to the bathroom, where he proceeded to call me. I waited anxiously.

_RIN-_

"Matsu!" I gasped, answering my phone. "Oh, you're alright! I'm so glad you're okay! Have they threatened you or anything? If they have, I'll kick their-"

Ryuzaki grabbed the phone from me.

"Ryuzaki, are you watching this?" Matsuda asked.

"Yes."

"Look, I'm really sorry-"

"That's not the point right now."

"Okay," Matsuda said. "Listen, the eight men in the meeting were trying to determine who they'd get Kira to kill for them!"

I gasped with a shudder.

"I heard them say it clearly. There's no doubt, they're behind this."

They began discussing Ryuzaki's plan while I was taking deep breaths, trying to calm myself. I didn't know what I'd do if Matsuda had died.

Once they had hung up, I nervously watched the monitors. There was only a thirty percent chance that Matsuda would live through this. I nearly broke down into hysterics with the tension.

"Nozomi…"

I looked at Ryuzaki. "What?"

"Please calm yourself. Worrying isn't going to change the outcome of this plan," he said.

"Okay…"

But I couldn't calm myself.

Because it was time.

On the screen, Matsuda kicked the door open. "Man, I am soooo drunk," he said in a happy voice, staggering in. He slowly went over to the sliding glass door. "Now, it's the moment you've all been waiting for! The Taru Matsui show!" He went out onto the balcony, and climbed up onto the ledge.

I shut my eyes. I didn't want to see this.

All I could here was the sound of Matsuda screaming when he fell.

"Quick! Let's get to the ambulance!" Ryuzaki said.

"Right!" I followed close behind him. We were already in the paramedics clothes, so all we had to do was get to the ambulance. When we got to the sight, we pretended to put the "dead" Matsui in the ambulance.

"While I'm aware of the fact we're short handed, I'm not very pleased with doing this myself," Ryuzaki said in an annoyed voice. "Matsuda, you idiot…"

I was only glad that Matsuda was okay. After we had changed into our regular clothes, I dragged Ryuzaki back to the room Matsuda was in after the fake fall he took. However, I was pretty excited to see Matsu alive, so I was rushing as fast as I could, leaving L to yell "Nozomi! Dammit, wait a minute!" behind me.

I pushed open the door to see my dad and Matsuda on the mattress used to catch him. "EEEEE! MATSU!" I cried, rushing over to hug him. "You idiot! Do you have any idea how scared I was!? You could have been killed!" I started to cry.

"Hey, it's okay, Nozomi-chan!" Matsuda said. "I'm alright, aren't I? Please don't cry…" He gently dried my tears with his thumb. I sobbed and hugged him tighter.

"Why did you even do that in the first place!?" I demanded.

"Well…Ryuzaki and the others were treating me like I was useless so…"

I quickly smacked Ryuzaki upside the head. "YOU ASS-HOLE!" I screamed at him. "MAKING MATSUDA FEEL BAD, I'M GONNA KICK YOUR ASS!" and I proceeded to do so.

What an epic day that was…

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

_A/N: This ends the fourteenth chapter of Nozomi's story. Next time:_

_Minami and Matsuda finally start something everyone has been anticipating; Miso infiltrates the Yotsuba headquarters, and much, much more. Don't miss the next installment of 'Nozomi Yagami's Wonderful Life of Doom'!_


	15. A Plan Unfolds

_A/N: Yay! 15 is a magic number! X3_

_And, yes. I have noticed that Aizawa has been at the task force building in this chapter, after he quit, and I know he's not supposed to return until after they capture Higuchi. But let's pretend for the time being that he, like, came to get his stuff or something. So the plot will make sense. _

_And I am sorry to inform that the story will come to a close after they do capture Higuchi, which is in just a few chapters. I know I've uploaded 15 chapters in, like, ten days, but it's been a lotta fun. :3_

_Wait! That's a speech for the A/N at the ending. Until then, enjoy chapter 15!_

Nozomi Yagami's Wonderful Life of Doom

Chapter 15

A Plan Unfolds

About three days later, I was playing Tetris on my phone in the monitor room when it beeped. "Yo yo yiggity yo?" I answered.

"N-Nozomi…"

"Minami?" I said. "Hey, why're you crying? What's wrong?"

"What do you mean what's wrong?" she sobbed. "You planned on letting me find out through a newspaper?"

"What do you mean?"

"I mean that Matsuda's dead!" she said. "The newspaper said that Amane Miso's manager is dead. Matsuda was Miso's manager. I can't believe you didn't tell me that the first guy I like is…" she sobbed.

"Minami, let me explain-"

"No! I'm coming over there!" she hung up.

"Aww, crap…"

"What's wrong, Nozomi-chan?" Matsuda asked.

"Minami thinks you're dead and she's sobbing her flipping eyes out," I sighed. "She's on her way over now. I think she'll be a bit surprised when she sees you…"

"Minami-chan is…crying? Because she thinks I'm dead?" he asked, beginning to blush. "I didn't think she liked me…"

"Matsuda, she asked you out on a date," I said. "To normal people, that's sort of a sign that a person likes you."

Minutes later, Minami arrived at the investigation building. "Oh my god, Nozomi, I can't believe…" She stopped when she saw Matsuda. "Oh…MATSUDA!" she rushed over and hugged him tightly. "But, wait, how…? Ah, screw it!" Minami got on her tip-toes and kissed him.

"Ooooh!" I squealed.

"Well, now…" Ryuzaki mumbled.

When they broke away, Matsuda just stared at Minami, a bright red blush on his face. "Um…m-maybe we should do this-"

"Outside…" Minami finished for him. She grabbed his hand and pulled him out of the investigation room out into the hallway. Little did she know there were security cameras out there, and we were able to see her and Matsuda making out wildly.

"Well, that's not something you see everyday…" I said.

"No it isn't, Nozomi-chan…No it isn't…" Ryuzaki said.

We proceeded to watch for the next fifteen minutes. When Minami started taking off his tie, I grabbed the large microphone that could be heard throughout the building and screamed "HEY! No sex in the building!" This made them both stop and turn a faint maroon.

"Well…I should go!" Minami said, rushing out. "Um, bye, Matsu!" And she was gone.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

A week later, we were watching the Yotsuba guys on the big monitor. I was the one to point out that there were seven members at the meeting rather than eight. We came to the conclusion that they had killed off one of their members.

"…We need to discuss who we're going to kill next," the bald man at the head of the table said.

Everyone gasped.

"See? This is what I've been telling you!" said Matsuda.

And from there, I stopped paying attention. That was a real problem up at that point, but I didn't really care. All I cared about was what would happen next in my Suzumiya Haruhi screenplay. Another member of the task force would explain it to me later.

"…How could they kill that easily!?" I heard Matsuda say. That broke my train of thought and I decided I might as well listen to the conversation.

"Hey, this is just as we suspected!" I pointed out after listening for a few minutes.

"No, actually, we could only be completely sure once those people they named are dead," said Ryuzaki, pouring chocolate on his bowl of marshmallows. "We have to monitor these meetings and see what they say, how they act, and most importantly, if the people they say actually die."

"Ryuzaki!" my father and I yelled.

"What is it? There's no need to yell in unison."

"I can't carry on knowing these people will die!" I snapped. "That's just immoral!"

"Here it comes…" Ryuzaki said under his breath.

I started to nag to him about how it was wrong to let these people die and so on and so on.

"Nozomi, I need you to do something…"

Some crazy stuff happened after that. I called one of the members that was in the meeting and used the synthesized voice to convince, no, FORCE him to be our mole in the Yotsuba group. It was Namikawa, and he was super sexy, if I do say so myself. And I couldn't help but want to mess with him.

"Alright, now. Namikawa, one more thing…" I said. I sniggered. "Say 'I'm gay and I love Oscar Meyer Corndogs.'"

Ryuzaki smacked his forehead and sighed. I could distinctly hear him murmur the words "dumb ass…"

"What? But I-"

"DO IT!"

"I'm gay and I like Oscar Meyer Corndogs," Namikawa said out loud. The Yotsuba guys began sniggering. I laughed as well and hung up.

"Oh, good times…good times…

"Nozomi-chan…if I were to die, I think you would make an excellent successor."

I snapped my head to look at Ryuzaki, appaled by that bit of randomness. "What?! Don't even say you might die, or I'm gonna cry, dude! Why are you being so morbid anyway? We have a month to figure out Kira's identity and gather evidence to prove it. This is only the beginning."

"Yes, but you were the one to make the connection between Kira and Yotsuba," Ryuzaki said. "You actually may be more capable than me. Tell me, if I were to die, would you take over for me as L?"

"But my name starts with an 'N'! That would make no sense!" I pointed out. "Besides, as long as we're joined by these handcuffs, we're going to die together! And if you were to die…I wouldn't have much of a reason for life, now would I?" I was over-dramatizing it a bit, but that was only because I didn't want to be L. It appeared to be too stressful to me. I was about to say I would kill myself if he died, just before telling him I liked him when I suddenly realized what he was doing. I scowled. "Sorry, Ryuzaki, but I'm going to have to tell everyone what you're thinking right now. He thinks that if I'm really Kira and I'm just putting on an act, then I would say yes. Then when I was L, I would continue my duties as Kira and no one would ever suspect me. It's ideal. And you're thinking I could do it. No, that I would do it."

"Yes, that's what I'm thinking," he said.

I grabbed his shoulder and spun him around in the chair so he'd look at me. "Ryuzaki, after all the crap that we've been through in the past few months, you still suspect me of being Kira? After that kiss…kiss_es_…do you really think I'm capable of being Kira? Do I seem like that kind of person to you?"

"Yes you do. I've always thought so."

I couldn't decide whether to cry or to hit him. I did the one that felt better. I punched him in the face. Almost instantly, he kicked me right in the face.

"Okay! Break it up!" Matsuda yelled, pushing us away from each other. "Once was enough! It was a draw, so let's leave it as an even match, okay!?"

"You're right," I said to Matsu, not really thinking he was right. Screw even match! I wanted to beat the hell out of Ryuzaki! But, unfortunately, I never got that chance.

That was the first time I ever wanted to beat the shit out of Matsu for stopping me.

Damn. I was getting messed up.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

Something happened that night. Something weird. Because of some insane twist, Miso is now helping with the investigation. Aiber is going to tell Yotsuba that Miso was a suspect of being the second Kira. Apparently that was going to help the situation or something. Oh yeah, and Miso, Ryuzaki and I were now "bestest friends." Now Miso's just a flipping third wheel in my plan to get Ryuzaki to like me! (Did I mention that part?)

"Aright, let's try again, from the top!"

"Tell me, Miso," Aiber said. "Is it true that you once said you came to Tokyo to meet Kira?"

"WHAAAAT!?" Miso gasped, his arms and legs flailing.

Ryuzaki hit Miso over the head with a paper speaker. "Miso," he said into it. "Please stop over-reacting, it looks too cheesy, not to mention fake."

"What? But I thought that was a realistic performance!" Miso pouted.

"Just do it again…"

"Whatever you say, _oh so great director_!"

"If you don't get serious about this, I'll kick you."

Miso glared at Ryuzaki. "Nozomi-chan, tell Ryuzaki not to be such an ass!"

"Maybe if you did as he said, he wouldn't have to be an ass!" I said to Miso, not looking up from my manga.

"Fine…"

Afterwards, when Miso managed to get it right, he went off with Mogi so he could infiltrate the Yotsuba group, just as planned. I wasn't worrying about it much. I didn't really care. In fact, I was hoping it would go wrong so I could be with Ryuzaki longer. I was positive he would go half way around the world on another case when the Kira investigation was over and done with.

But, eventually, Miso and Mogi returned. To my dismay and fake happiness, it was all according to plan.

"Yeah, but I'm exhausted," Miso said with a yawn. He came up to me, lifted me out of my chair, sat down, and put me on his lap. I made a tiny growling sound in the back of my throat. "But, there's good news! I've discovered…all the Yotsuba guys are gay!"

I felt my eyes grow wide. "What? They're gay?"

"Yep!" he said with a sexy smile. "And three of them asked me out! I suppose I could pretend to be gay for the sake of the investigation…"

"No way!" I said. "The plan stops here! I don't want you getting hurt, Miso!" It was true, I didn't want him to get hurt, but I also wanted more time with Ryuzaki, as I said before. "Mogi will continue being your bodyguard, but I want you to deny being suspected of being the second Kira, okay?"

"Okay, Nozomi-chan," he sighed, lifting me off his lap. "Well, I'm going to bed. We have to shoot bright and early tomorrow. Goodnight."

"Night," I said to him.

Miso was nearly out of the room when he turned to look at me, a cute smile on his face. "Hey, Nozomi, wanna come sleep with me tonight?"

"Wh-What!?" I gasped. "What're you talking about? I'm sleeping with Ryuzaki."

Miso stared at me with a horrified expression.

"…Oh, EEW!" I screamed. "NO, not like that! You know, it's just with the handcuffs and…GO TO BED!"

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

"…I'm Kira. So to make you trust me and prove to you I'm Kira, I'll stop killing criminals for the time being."

"And there you have it!" Miso said, a smile spread across his handsome face.

"This is great!" said Matsuda. "Not only do we know Kira's identity, but now all the deaths will stop! Good work, Miso-Miso!"

But something didn't feel right. I could feel it in the pit of my stomach that something was going to go wrong. Because, honesty, this was MY life. And MY life sucked. So it was only natural that the entire plan would suck. Because everything that happened to me sucked, and everything in my sucky life affected others' and turned their lives and situations sucky. So all in all….

Suck, suck, suck, suck…..

"Miso, how did you get Higuchi to confess?" I asked him.

"Oh, it was easy!" he said. "Higuchi's totally gay for me, and I made him believe I was gay too. He even wanted me to marry him! I told him I would marry him if he was really Kira. And I managed to convince him I'm the second Kira."

"Miso, you idiot!" I snapped. "Didn't I tell you to deny all that?"

"But now we know that Higuchi's Kira, right? Why can't we just catch him already?"

"This is what you would call a victory, right, Matsuda?" said Ryuzaki.

"But right now, we don't know exactly how he kills his victims, right, Ryuzaki-kun?" I said.

"Well, yes," Ryuzaki continued. "But before we move in and arrest Higuchi, I want to see how he kills."

"But if the criminals stop dying, then we won't be able to figure out how he kills, right?"

"Yes. But at any rate, we can't arrest Higuchi until we're certain the killings have stopped. I need to think about this for a moment…" He pressed a button on the keyboard. "Weddy," he said to the blond criminal. "An update on the current situation, please."

He talked to her for a moment while I yelled at Miso some more.

"Nozomi…I'm sorry to keep coming back to this…" Ryuzaki said. Do you remember? Killing anyone, I mean."

"Are you serious?" I demanded. "Are you still going on about that? For the last time, I'm not Kira! How many times do I have to-"

"I just want you to answer the question."

"No. I don't remember killing anyone," I said.

"Miso? What about you?"

"No way!" he said. "I don't remember killing anyone because I'm not Kira!"

"Look, Nozomi, I want you to analyze my current theory," L said. "This could determine whether or not we catch Kira. Please listen to what I'm about to say. Yagami Nozomi used to be Kira. Kira's power has somehow passed to someone else. Yagami Nozomi has no recollection of ever being Kira. I need your assumption based on those facts. Do you think you can do that for me?"

"…Okay. I can give it a shot."

"…"

"Yagami Nozomi used to be Kira. Kira's power has somehow passed to another person. Was this because Yagami Nozomi wanted it to happen? Or was someone else in control of Nozomi, lurking in the back who gave her the power? Was it that person who passed Nozomi's powers to someone else?"

I hesitated. "…No. I think I would make that decision."

"Yes, of course," Ryuzaki said, turning back to him computer. "If someone did have the ability to transfer Kira's power, it makes no sense that he would wait so long with you to the next Kira. If this was the doings of a being from above, then we would have to accept that they were impossible to catch. But then again, I would be dead by now. It's very unlikely that such a being exists. It appears that Kira's power can only be transferred by the will of the beholder of the power. Thank you, Nozomi. I can now say I feel ninety nine percent better."

Watari brought in some more sweets for L, though there was already a tray on the table.

"We'll create a situation where Higuchi could not transfer this power," Ryuzaki said. "We'll catch him and see how he kills."

"Well, what're you going to do?"

"We'll trick him using Sakura TV."

"Like a hidden camera show!" Matsuda said.

"What?" said Miso.

"We'll use the Kira special Demigawa airs every week," Ryuzaki continued. "We'll get a three hour time slot. It will be announced that Kira's identity will be revealed at the end of the special."

"Yeah, but this is Sakura TV after all," said Matsuda. "For all we know, Higuchi might not watch at all."

"We'll get Namikawa to call him," I said. "Say 'this is bad. Turn on Sakura TV.' Higuchi will buy it when he realizes the person on TV knows his secret."

"Oh, I get it!" said Matsuda. "We'll be using Aiber then! Announce that he was a spy all along!"

"No, I'm afraid you're incorrect. We will not be using Aiber," L said, popping a tiny chocolate into his mouth. "We'll have to use someone Higuchi thinks he'll be able to kill."

"But where are we going to find a person like that?" asked Matsuda.

I suddenly realized everyone but me was staring at him. "Oh, NO way!" I said. "I am SO not letting you put Matsu in mortal danger again! Find someone else! I'll go in if you want! My life is pretty pathedic anyway. Besides, Matsuda has a girlfriend who just happens to be my best friend. If he were to die and I let it _slip_ to Minami that you put him up to this, she'd kick your ass, Ryuzaki!"

"But it would make sense to send in Matsuda," dad said. "We need Higuchi to believe Matsuda heard their conversation at the door. It would only make sense that Miso's manager, who he thought was dead is revealing all of this."

"That's right," Ryuzaki said. "We'll have Sakura TV use voice filters and frost glass to consume his identity. Higuchi will probably guess that it's the manager, Taro Matsui. Just to make sure, we'll have Sakura TV make a mistake and accidentally reveal your face from behind the glass. Throughout the broadcast, the announcer will continue to say that they will reveal the full name of Kira at the end."

"Higuchi will feel cornered," dad said.

"I don't know…" I mumbled.

"But if something were to go wrong…" Ryuzaki said. "Matsuda will die."

"NO WAY!" I screamed. "I'm not letting you put Matsu in that kind of situation, got it!?"

"Nozomi-chan," Matsuda said. "Thank you for worrying about me and trying to protect me so much, but…I think I should make the decision of what I do."

I gaped at him. I had never heard Matsu stand up to anyone before. Now he was telling me he didn't need me? I felt like I was about to cry.

"Anyway, we're only going to do this once so we can be certain the murders don't happen," Ryuzaki continued. "Now all we need is for Matsuda to decide if he wants to go through with this or not."

"I don't need two or three days to decide…" Matsuda said, taking a few steps forward. "I want to do this!" he said in a bold voice.

Now I was crying. "Matsu, no!" I wrapped my arms around his waist, letting the tears flow. "Please don't risk your life like this! We can find someone else to do this! Like an emo teenager who was going to commit suicide anyway! Please, Matsuda, I am begging you…don't do this."

"…"

"I'm sorry, Nozomi-chan," he said in the same bold voice. "I know you care about me and only want what's best for me, but…you underestimate me too much."

`I blinked. "What? N-No I don't!"

"Yes, you do!" he said. "You always assume that I need protecting, that I need you to defend me!"

"Well, that's because you insist on being a pussy and don't stand up for yourself!" I snapped. I was shocked. I had never even talked to Matsuda in a sarcastic tone before and now I was yelling at him?

"I'm standing up for myself now, aren't I!?"

"…"

"Fine! Get yourself killed, I don't care anymore!" I said. "Let's see if you're okay with no one on your side all the time! You know, half the time, I don't even agree with the shit that comes out of your mouth! I only pretend I agree with you so at least one person will be on your side!"

His expression softened. "N-Nozomi-"

"Just screw it," I said, pulling on the chain. "Come on, Ryuzaki!" He tried to protest, but I was too strong for him. I yanked him upstairs with me where I proceeded to bury myself in a pillow and cry.

"…Are you okay?" Ryuzaki asked me after a few minutes.

"What do you think!?"

"Nozomi-chan, there's no way to get over this unless you talk to Matsuda," he said.

"What are you, a flipping Dr. Phil!?" I said, continuing to cry.

Ryuzaki cocked an eyebrow. "Dr…Phil?"

"I watch too much American self-help TV…"

"Matsuda wasn't trying to hurt you," he continued. "He was only telling you that you're too controlling. I have noticed myself you act as if he's a child who needs constant protection."

"…Well, yeah…" I sniffed. "But that's because I love him! Like family, I mean. He's the only guy on this investigation who actually gets me."

"…I get you."

I looked at Ryuzaki, who was biting his thumb. "No you don't… But I just want Matsuda to be safe, okay? And it doesn't exactly help my worrying problem now that he has a girlfriend. Now if something happens to him, Minami's going to die inside. Minami really needs Matsuda. And…I need him too. He's the only person who doesn't make me feel horrible about myself around here."

"I make you feel bad about yourself?"

"Well, yeah!" I said. "You're always going on about how you think I'm Kira. Matsuda's the only one who knows I'm not! He's the only one I can trust anything to! I just…I don't want anything to happen to him. Why do you think I said I'd do the show myself? I don't care if I die, but if Matsuda ever died…I know I would never be able to go on with this. I don't mean to be over-protective, I only want to keep him safe is all."

"Mm-hmm…" Ryuzaki mumbled. "And you are aware there are cameras in this room that make everyone in the monitor room about to see and hear you, right?"

"…"

"You bastard."

"I'm only trying to make you and Matsuda make up," he shrugged. "Things would get very difficult if you two stayed angry at each other. In fact, I think Matsuda should be up any moment now-"

"Nozomi-chan!" Matsuda burst into the room.

"Matsu, I'm sorry!" I said, hugging him. "I'm sorry I called you a pussy!"

"I'm sorry I called you a bossy bitch!" he said.

"Wait…what?"

"Nevermind, I was just thinking that…but I'm sorry I made you cry!"

"I'm sorry I make it sound as if I underestimate you!"

"Let's never fight about something like this again, okay?"

"Okay!"

"You sound like a couple of teenage girls…" Ryuzaki mumbled.

And with that, all was well.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

"Alright…I'm leaving for my date with Minami…"

I spun around in my chair to look at Matsuda. "Matsu, you look like hell. You sick?"

"What? Of course not!" he smiled nervously, waving a hand to dismiss the suggestion. His face was rather chalky and the bags under his eyes were bigger than Ryuzaki's.

"Lemme see…" I quickly got up to feel him forehead. "Matsu, you've got a fever. Why don't you go lay down?"

"No, I've got a date with…" Matsuda spun away from me and sneezed openly.

"Bless you, love," I said, reaching into my pocket for a handkerchief. "Here, sweetie."

"Heh…_sweetie_…" I heard Aizawa say in a mocking tone. I hissed at him as Matsu blew his nose.

"Thanks, Nozomi-chan," Matsuda sniffled, wiping his nose clean. He held the handkercheif out to me.

"…You know, you keep that."

"Thanks for worrying about me, Nozomi-chan," he said. "But I'll be fine! It's just a little cold! Besides, Minami-chan will be mad if I back out on our date. We only get to see each other once a week, after all…"

I shook my head. "No way. Minami would understand if you were sick." I put my fingertip on the tip of his pink nose. "Now change into your pajamas and get your ass in bed. I'll bring you some soup in a minute, kay, love?"

"Nozomi-chan, it's fine-"

"NOW, Matsu."

"…" He suddenly pointed behind me. "Ooh! A walrus!"

"What? Where?" I spun around, but I saw no walrus. "Matsu, there's no…" I noticed he was gone. "…Damn that cute little bastard."

"Nozomi-chan," Ryuzaki suddenly said, "Based on how you handled that situation, I believe you will be an excellent mother one day."

I blushed, thinking of how much I've always wanted a cute little baby to call my son or daughter. "Really? Thank you." I sat back down next to him. "Yeah, I try to be motherly with you guys. Except Aizawa. He can burn in hell for all I care. But someone has to take control around here."

"So if I were ailing just as Matsuda…?"

I smiled and winked. "I'd treat you like the sick little angel you would be," I said in a cutesy voice. I kissed his cheek just to prove my point.

He touched the place where my lips had connected with his cheek and blushed. "You know, I could actually fall for you…"

I nearly fainted out of joy. There was no way I would be about to concentrate on the big plan that was to take place next week. I sighed. "Do you think Matsu will be alright?"

"Of course, Nozomi-chan," Ryuzaki said. "He's ailing with a cold. What could he and Minami _possibly_ do?"

(A lot, actually. XD)

I got worried as the hours went on. And I began to freak out when it reached midnight and Matsuda still hadn't come back yet. I actually started to cry.

"Shh, it's okay," Ryuzaki said, trying to be soothing as I sobbed into his chest. "He and Minami-chan are probably just, as you girls say, 'cuddling', or possibly having sexual relations."

I smacked him. "Don't EVER say the words 'sex' and 'Matsuda' and 'Minami' in the same sentence ever again!"

"Um…sorry?"

I could barely get any sleep that night out of fear something had happened to Matsu. But, of course, Ryuzaki was right, as always. The next day at about noon, Minami dropped Matsu off at the investigation building. He was still sick, but not as bad as yesterday.

"Oh, Matsu!" I cried, flinging my arms around him. "Thank God you're okay! Why'd you stay so long at Minami's? Huh? Are you okay?"

"I'm fine, Nozomi-chan," he said, smiling. His smile suddenly faded and he sneezed.

"Ohhh, poor baby…" I cooed, hugging him. "Go up to bed, okay? You have to get better before the huge plan next week. Get some sleep."

"Oh, I think he slept _plenty_ last night, if you know what I mean…" I heard Aizawa chuckle darkly to Mogi. For once I ignored him.

"Um, okay," Matsuda said and staggered up the stairs. "Ah-choo!"

"Bless you, love!" I called.

"Thanks…"

"Christ, Nozomi, you're not his mom," Aizawa said bitterly.

I scowled. "Oh, speaking of mom, how was Aizawa's mom in bed, Mogi?"

Mogi flushed and Aizawa glared at him. "…Hey, it was only once!" he defended.

"You bastard!"

I smiled and listened to their fight. Ah, music to my ears.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

"Okay, you ready to do this?"

"I'm ready, Ryuzaki-kun!"

"Alright. Go ahead and call."

I quickly punched in Namikawa's number into the awesome untraceable telephone in the monitor room. It rang and rang and rang…

"Namikawa speaking."

"It's L," I said into the receiver. "Before anything, are you alone?"

"No."

"What're you wearing?"

"Wait, what?"

"Just kidding!" I laughed. "But, seriously. Just act as if this is a normal call."

"I don't think that's nessisary," Namikawa said. "One person I'm with is already suspicious about your other phone call. L, Mido and Shimura are here as well. Neither of them are Kira. In fact, they seem fed up with him at this point. I'll say they choose to stand back and watch your face off with Kira, as I will as well."

"Tonight, I'm going to catch Kira. But first I need a favor from you."

"Hmm…then it's the end for Higuchi."

"What? You know it's him?" I asked.

"Wow. It appears even the great L can be tricked," Namikawa said.

"Woah. I always knew Namikawa was smart. You can just see it on his face," Miso said.

"No, that's just because Nozomi messed up…" L mumbled.

"I'm bating Higuchi with a special on Sakura TV. A few minutes into the program, I need you to call Higuchi and tell him to tune in," I commanded. "If you can do that, I won't harm you or the other five. As for the others Kida, Takahashi and Ode try to do anything, make sure you stop them."

"Alright. I understand," said Namikawa.

"Okay, and from there I need…hello?" I slammed the phone down on the receiver. "That bastard hung up on me!"

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

_A/N: Oh noes! The Higuchi-capture part is nearing! DX That means the story is almost over! But worry not! There will be about three more chapters before the end. And something will happen that none of you anticipated!…Okay, you probably DID anticipate it, but pretend to be surprised, okay?_

_So next time:_

_Will the Higuchi mission go as planned? Will Nozomi regain her memories? Why did Namikawa hang up on Nozomi? All these questions and more will be answered in the next chapter (except the last one)._


	16. Things Get Sucky Again

_A/N: Sixteenth chapter…wows…_

_So, yeah, wow. I can't believe I actually got this far without deciding this fanfic was a total piece of shit. But apparently you guys like it, so I'm happy. :3 _

_So enjoy chapter 16 and be happy…_

_PS: this chapter has a 'Naruto' reference, but you don't have to see the series to understand it._

_PSS: to answer Mr. Watch And Learns' question, I don't have anything against Aizawa. NOZOMI does, though. I'll explain more about that in the final Authors' Note._

Nozomi Yagami's Wonderful Life of Doom

Chapter 16

Things Get Sucky Again

Hours later, I stared at the television screen, praying that nothing would go wrong. Everything was smooth sailing so far. I assumed that Namikawa had already called Higuchi.

"And one of them was killed by Kira," Matsuda continued in the filtered voice. "There are only seven men left. The one who died was Mr. H. Mr. H wanted to leave the meeting, and was killed by Kira because of that." Suddenly, the frosted frame that had covered Matsuda before fell over. It was in the plan, but I was still incredibly worried.

"Sir, we're terribly sorry for that accident," the announcer said to Matsuda once the frosted frame was back up. "We could stop if you want."

"No. I did this knowing I would be in danger. I'm going to do this for the sake of justice, even if it means risking my life."

It was then that Miso's cell phone rang. "It's Higuchi…BLOCK!" Miso said, pressing the button to do so.

"To be honest, I've been debating for a long time whether or not to do this," Matsuda continued in the synthesized voice, "but I know now I made the right choice."

It cut to a commercial.

I finally let out the breath I had been holding. "Do you think he'll be okay?"

"Nozomi-chan…" Ryuzaki said, entwining his index finger and middle finger with mine like you see Naruto and Sasuke do in those crappy flashbacks from where they were friends. "Please don't worry. I can't promise, but I'm pretty sure everything will be alright."

And I believed him.

There was a beeping from L's computer and Watari's voice came on. "Ryuzaki, Mogi is in position in front of Yoshida productions. He just received a call from Higuchi."

"Yes, it's time for phase two," Ryuzaki said, letting go of my hand. I was almost sad when he did. Watari put us through so we could hear the conversation between Mogi and Higuchi.

"Mochi! Where's Miso?" Higuchi demanded.

"Oh, Mr. Higuchi! Pleasure to hear from you! I'm sorry, but Miso-Miso is taking a much needed vacation right now," Mogi said in his preppy manager voice. "He should be back by, oh, tomorrow morning. You can reach him then!"

"I'm asking where he is now!"

"I'm sorry, but that's private information. He's requested that I not tell anyone about his wherabouts. I'll have him contact you tomorrow, first thing!"

"Do you know if his previous manager was an entertainer?" Higuchi demanded.

"Come again?"

"I'm talking about Taro Matsui!"

"Sorry," Mogi said. "I was only hired just recently, so I don't know much about him. If you need some information, I could let you talk to someone from the office. Oh, I _just_ remembered! Everyone's in Okinawa at the moment! You could try the president, though."

"This is going just as planned…" I said. "But it's a little scary. What if something happens?"

"You shouldn't be scared, Nozomi-chan," Ryuzaki said, grasping my entire hand this time. I blushed. "You should be happy. Like I said before, try to calm down."

I let out a shaky sigh. "You're right…sorry…"

He was about to pull his hand away, but I grabbed it again. Ryuzaki looked up at me. "Nozomi…"

"Just…let me hold your hand for a minute," I mumbled.

"I'm patching you into the call from Higuchi to Yoshida productions," Watari said.

"This is Higuchi from Yotsuba," Kira said. "I need to know the real name of Taro Matsui."

"He's not even pretending to hide what he's asking now, is he?" Miso said with a tiny laugh.

"It only shows he's beginning to panic," Ryuzaki said, letting go of my hand when Miso came over. I was about to protest, when I remembered what a temper Miso had when it came to Ryuzaki. We might have been in the middle of a master plan, but that wouldn't stop Miso from kicking his ass.

"Then what was his real name!?" Higuchi demanded.

"I tell you, it was Yamata- no wait! Yamashida…Uh, his first name was…ah, I can't remember."

"Don't screw with me!" Higuchi yelled. "Why the hell can't you remember the names of the people you hire!?"

"Alright, no need for that kind of language," the president of Yoshida productions said. "I've got his personal file back at the office."

"So go back and get it!"

"Are you serious? We're on our first company vacation in two years! If you want to know it that badly, I'll give you the pin code to get into the office. You can go in yourself and look it up, how's that? The files are in the drawer in the back to the left in the bottom drawer. They should all be sorted alphabetically. But I'm pretty sure it was Yamashita…" the president said.

"Fine! What's the number!"

"It's 1-2-3-4-5."

"…You're kidding, right?"

"Nope!"

"Fine!" And Higuchi hung up.

So what's he gonna do?" Miso asked.

"Alright, I'm in persuit," Weddy said from the motorcycle she was on that was chasing Higuchi.

"Everything's still going according to plan," I said.

Sakura TV came back from commercial.

"Just so you know, I was in a hotel room drinking, with all of them," Matsuda said with the filtered voice.

"Oh, is that so?"

"Yes. But if I give you any more details, the others would know who Kira was, so I'll just leave it at that."

"Nozomi, please put Higuchi on audio channel one and Sakura TV on audio channel two," said Ryuzaki.

"Okay, sure…" I said, clicking on a few buttons on the computer. "As expected, Higuchi's watching the whole thing from his car."

"Rem…what do you think?" Higuchi said.

"Rem? Who's that?" I said. "He's alone in the car, right?"

"What if I get to Yoshida Productions and his file isn't there?" Higuchi said.

"Okay…he's talking to himself…weirdo…"

"Then don't you think it's a little wreckless for Yoshida Productions to let me in unsupervised?" Higuchi continued. "If there was a robbery, they would lead it back to me."

"This isn't sounding very good…" Miso said.

"He'll still go there," L said. "Don't you worry…."

I actually think I was worrying more than Miso and the rest of the task force combined. If this was a success, we would finally catch Kira. But if we caught Kira, I would probably never see Ryuzaki again after this. If we didn't catch Kira, Ryuzaki would go all depressed again. But, then again, I would have more time with him. Gah, this was so confusing…

"Alright, there's only one hour left until the big announcement!" the announcer said, cutting to commercial.

"…But then I'll have to kill everyone I just had contact with," Higuchi said. "That includes the Yoshida Productions president, Miso and her manager."

Miso gasped. "What? He's going to kill me!?"

"Don't worry," Ryuzaki said again. "He won't. Higuchi means he'll kill you after he kills Matsuda."

"…Rem, I didn't think you were so smart. Then I'll erase their call history."

"There's no way he could just be talking to himself!" I said. "But who's Rem? Who's he talking to?"

"If he's talking with someone right now," Ryuzaki said, peeling a banana. "He could mean…a shinigami."

Miso looked away nervously. I was too confused to ask what was wrong.

"Prehaps…" L finished, biting the banana.

"Ryuzaki…a shinigami. Do you mean that? Or are you just trying to be an ass?" I asked.

"I assure you, Nozomi-chan, I am not trying to make my self appear to be an ass," he said, finishing the banana. "But if you recall, when Kira would send messages, it always had shinigami involved."

I shrugged. "Maybe. Or could he possibly have discovered Weddy's cameras?"

"No, I don't think so. I'm convinced Weddy did a thorough job of hiding the cameras from sight."

Higuchi arrived at Yoshida Productions.

"He's here…"

"The show is about to begin…"

I switched the camera view into inside Yoshida Productions. Higuchi got to the room with the camera and began rummaging around in the bottom drawer, looking for Matsuda's file. Once he found what he was looking for, he wrote the fake name in a notebook he pulled from his bag.

"He's not…doing anything," I said. "He's only making a note of the name."

"Prehaps he'll do something in the car," Ryuzaki said. "Nozomi, switch to camera one again."

"Right."

I pressed the button that let us look into Higuchi's car. He closely looked at the television as if awaiting something.

"…Damn! He didn't die!" he suddenly yelled.

"What? Did he do something to kill him already?"

Higuchi began dialing a number into his phone. Just then, Miso's cell phone rang.

"Block…"

"Damn it!" Higuchi yelled. He hesitated a moment before saying. "Rem…let's make the deal."

"The deal?" I mumbled. "Who's this Rem person he keeps talking to? Could there be a wire tap in his car?"

"I doubt it," Ryuzaki said. "Weddy searched the whole car and there was nothing."

Higuchi drove off.

"What're we supposed to do now?" I asked. "We can't see how he kills, the only thing he did was write a name in a notebook."

_Notebook…death…damn! Super déjà vu here!_

"This is bad," Weddy said. "Higuchi's been pulled over by a traffic cop. I'll have to go on and let Aiber's team handle it."

"Switch to Higuchi's car," Ryuzaki said.

"Sure." I pressed the button to switch to the Higuchi's car camera.

"You were speeding," the cop said. "Drivers' licence, please."

"Sure…" Higuchi began rummaging around in his bag. A moment later, he sped off down the road. The cop chased after him on the motorcycle. A minute later, that cop smashed into the back of an eighteen-wheeler truck.

"The cop just died!" Mogi said.

"Wait, by accident?"

"Everyone!" Ryuzaki said. "It's too dangerous for further action on Higuchi. We'll have to bring him in! I believe he has the power of the second Kira. He can kill by looking at someone's face. Please keep this in mind when you move in to arrest him! Watari, connect me to the leader of the NPA."

"Yes."

"This is L," Ryuzaki said in the voice filter. "We are now aware of Kira's true identity. He is now heading from Hibuya to Shibuya along highway 1 in a red sports car. Our group will arrest him. Please don't let any of your officers go near his car."

"Dad," I said into my cell phone. "On the next commercial, make the switch with Matsuda and the announcer to the maniquins, okay?"

"Understood."

"So, then, Nozomi-chan," Ryuzaki said. "Why don't we go join the fun as well?"

"Yay!" I cried, hopping out of my chair. "We'll get Higu~chi! And we'll arr~est him! 'Cause he's a douche~bag!" I sang in a happy voice. I suddenly remembered the other part of the plan. I pushed Miso down in a chair and Ryuzaki and I proceeded to tie him up and put handcuffs on his wrists.

"Hey, what the hell?" he gasped.

"I'm sorry to do this, Miso," Ryuzaki said. "But I'm going to have to make sure you're restrained for a while."

"What!? Nozomi, say something!"

"No time!" I said, kissing him on the cheek. "Love ya, bye!"

We rushed out of there before Miso could start yelling.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

"Wow! Ryuzaki, I didn't know you could pilot a helicopter! This is awesome!" I cried, looking down at all the buildings and cars below.

"Well, you can figure it out with intuition."

"Wait…Higuchi isn't going to Sakura TV!" I said, looking at the navigator. "He's going the wrong way!"

"Based on his route, I'm guessing he's going to the Yotsuba main office," Ryuzaki said. "Weddy, have you removed all things related to Matsuda at the Yotsuba headquarters?"

"Yeah. Why? Is he going there now?"

"Yes."

"Well isn't that convenient…"

After a few minutes outside the building, Higuchi turned his car back on and sped off toward Sakura TV.

"Dad," I said into my phone. "He's heading toward Sakura TV now. He'll be there within fifteen minutes. Are you ready?"

"I don't need my daughter asking if I'm ready," dad said.

"Fine. _Sorry_…"

Minutes later, dad called me back. "Dad, what's wrong?" I said when I answered.

"This is Mogi. The chief's been shot and Higuchi's getting away. He's got a gun on him."

"This is bad!" I gasped. "Higuchi's getting away from Sakura TV!"

"This leaves us no choice," Ryuzaki said. "We'll have to move in and apprehend him. Watari, are you ready?"

"Yes," Watari said from behind us. He had a gun ready. I was really hoping he wouldn't have to use it.

"Nozomi…" Ryuzaki held out a shot gun to me. "I think you should use this for self defense."

"Wh-what!?" I gasped. "But, I-I, what!? No, firearms aren't aloud in Japan!"

"You know, I'd assume your father would say the exact same thing," Ryuzaki said.

We continued to monitor the exciting car chase from the helicopter. Out of no where, Higuchi's car stopped. I looked out the helicopter window and gasped. "No fricking way…."

There was at least three dozen cop cars blocking Higuchi's path.

"What's this? I thought we told the police not to get involved," Watari said.

I sighed. "I know who it is…Aizawa, you jackass…"

Ryuzaki lowered the helicoptor so it was only about a yard above the ground. Higuchi tried to get away, but Watari shot one of his tires out.

"Awesome, Watari!" I said, holding out my hand for a high five. The older man hesitated a moment before slapping it. "Sweet!"

Higuchi's car spun out of control and smashed into a wall. The cop cars surrounded him so he couldn't get away. Higuchi pulled a gun out and put it to his head. "Stay back! Stay back or I'll shoot, I swear!"

Watari shot the gun out of his hand.

"Niiiice…" I hissed in a happy tone. "It's…it's over." I admit, I was a little sad. Oksy, MORE than a little sad. This was the end of one hell of an adventure.

"Yes…it's over…" Ryuzaki agreed.

We looked at each other…

And I leaned in…

And he leaned in…

And we kissed.

"Ryuzaki-kun…" I mumbled before kissing him a second time.

"Nozomi-chan…" He said, kissing me back.

"This is wrong, right?" A third kiss.

"Definitely wrong…" Another kiss.

"Well, then…" I heard Watari say in an amused tone, obviously watching us.

We shared one last kiss, this one long and gentle. And I knew it. I knew I didn't like Ryuzaki. I loved him. I loved him more than anyone could ever understand. I wanted nothing more than to wrap my arms around his neck and kiss him tenderly. I was so passionate with my newly discovered love, I nearly lost control and unbuttoned his jeans. Once our kiss was over, he backed away from me. I did the same.

"Well, now, back to business…" he mumbled.

"Uh…yeah…"

_Stupid, stupid, STUPID! Was I really going to unbutton his pants? In front of Watari, no less!? And in the middle of a freaking arrest!? I've been lonely way too long…_

"Ryuzaki," dad said. "I would like to make the arrest."

"I'll come with you, if that's all right," Mogi said.

"That's fine," Ryuzaki agreed. "Just be cautious. This is Kira, after all."

My dad and Mogi left their cars and went over to Higuchi's, wearing tinted helmets. Aizawa also put on a helmet and followed my father. "Higuchi! Put your hands above your head and get out of the car!"

Higuchi did as my father said, slowly stepping out of the car, his hands raised above his head. Dad slapped some handcuffs on his and tied his eyes with a blindfold.

"Mogi," I said. "I want you to put a headset on him as planned."

"Roger." Mogi did as I asked and put a headset on the blinded Higuchi.

"Higuchi," Ryuzaki said in a bold voice. "How are you able to kill? Tell me!"

Higuchi stayed quiet.

"If you're not going to talk, I'll use any means nessisary to get it out of you," Ryuzaki continued, pouring a cup of tea from a thermous.

"…The notebook," Higuchi said.

"Notebook?"

"You probably won't believe me, but I've got a special notebook. If a write a persons' name in it while thinking of their face, that person dies."

"Mr. Yagami…"

"I've got it," dad said. "It was in one of the compartments of Higuchi's bag. He's written a lot of names in it, but there doesn't seem to be anything else unusual about it." He suddenly gasped and started screaming.

"What is it, Mr. Yagami?" Ryuzaki asked in an unusually calm voice for this kind of situation.

"It's a monster!"

I sighed. "I always knew my dad would snap one of these days…"

"Mr. Yagami, please calm down," Ryuzaki commanded.

Mogi rushed over to my father, picked up the notebook, and screamed himself.

"Mogi, what's wrong?" I said.

"That…thing!" my father stuttered. "It seems only people who have touched the notebook can see it!"

"Please bring the notebook over to the helicopter," L said.

Mogi brought it up to the helicopter and gave it to Ryuzaki. Ryuzaki took the notebook and glanced over at Higuchi's car. "It really is…a shinigami…" he muttered.

"Hey! Lemme look!" I said. Without hesitation, I grabbed the notebook from Ryuzaki's hands…

And it all came back.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

_A/N: Oh noes! Nozomi has regained her memories! DX Now what will happen? Will she choose to kill L and continue her mission as Kira? Or will her love for L conquer everything else? There is only a few chapters left and Nozomi's story is almost over. But please don't be sad! You'll like the ending very much! :3 So, until next time._

_---Mello Lufs Matt 74_


	17. Nozomi's Suckish Love Life

_A/N: Chapter 17!!! :3_

_So yes. After this, there will only be ONE chapter. D: but then there will also be an epilogue and Authors' Note. But even so, ONE CHAPTER!!! So savor this, as it's the second to last official chapter! DX Now please read this second-to-finale' chapter and be happy! :3_

_PS: You will find that this chapter is a bit more serious than the others, but, hell, we're nearing the freaking end! What do you expect!? But worry not! There will still be some funny moments (including Nozomi sharing that she thinks L has a cute butt…:3)._

Nozomi Yagami's Wonderful Life of Doom

Chapter 17

I started to scream my freaking head off as all those memories came back to me. Kira, Miso, second Kira, shinigami, Rem, Ryuk, apples, Misora, Sexy Man, Kira fanclub nerds.... They all came back in a split second. I began breathing heavily, the thoughts overwhelming me for a moment.

"Are…Are you alright, Nozomi-chan?" Ryuzaki asked. "I suppose anyone would be surprised by seeing that monster."

"Ryuzaki…" I murmered. "I…I want to check this out. If the names in the notebook match the names of the killed criminals…" I looked at the list and then back at the notebook. I really didn't need to look it over to know that they were the same, but I made it look like I did anyway.

"Oh, right. Yeah, that sounds like a good idea…"

I glanced over at him. Moments ago, I had kissed him. I had kissed Ryuzaki. I had kissed the man I knew I loved. But he was supposed to be my enemy.

_What the hell am I going to do?_

I suddenly remembered what Rem had said right before taking away my Death Note. I would have to kill Higuchi without letting go of the notebook or my memories would be lost again. Making sure Ryuzaki wasn't looking, I pulled the tiny trigger on my watch. The tiny piece of the Death Note popped out. With a needle, I poked my finger with it, making sure to get blood out. With the needle all bloody, I wrote Higuchi's name on it.

"Ryuzaki," I said. "This notebook, I wonder what would come up if we put it through feranzic analysis?"

"That doesn't sound like you, Nozomi-chan," Ryuzaki said. "We both know this thing is beyond science."

"Uh, yeah, you're right…"

I wiped the blood off on my S.O.S. Brigade jacket (I'm sorry Nagato! T_T) and glanced at my watch. That had to be the longest forty seconds of my life.

Suddenly, Higuchi gasped and fell to the ground.

"What the hell!? What's happening!?" I gasped. "Dad, what're you doing!? We can't loose him right now!"

"I'm sorry," dad said. "There's nothing I can do. He's already…"

_Dead._

I glanced at Ryuzaki again. The old me would be promising he would die. But now…

_If I don't kill him, I can't be Kira and save the world. But if I do kill him…I'll lose the first man I've ever fallen in love with…. _

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

Hours later, when we arrived back at the investigation headquarters, L wanted to look at the Death Note, but I complained that I was tired and wanted to go to bed. After about twenty minutes of whining, I was able to convince him to leave it until the morning.

Once in bed, I tried my hardest to sleep. I couldn't. I kept thinking. And I wouldn't stop thinking.

_I love Ryuzaki with all my heart. I don't want to admit that, but I do. I want to be with him forever. I want to hug him everyday, I want to kiss him everyday, I want to tell him I love him everyday. But… If he lives, I can never be Kira again. If I'm not Kira anymore, the criminal population will grow again. It was my mission to kill all the world's bad guys. It's all I want. But….I want Ryuzaki, too. I picked up the Death Note out of boredom. I killed all those criminals out of boredom. So how am I supposed to kill the person who makes things interesting?_

I sat up in bed, rubbing my temples. What was the matter with me? With L gone, Kira could be god like I had wanted. But I didn't want to give him up. I didn't want to lose Ryuzaki. But, then again, I didn't want to love him, but I did. I loved him more than the world. But that world needed Kira…

I glanced over at Ryuzaki, who was sleeping the same way as he sat. He looked so peaceful, so cute. I pulled a few strands of hair away from his adorable face and gently caressed his cheek with me fingertips. "Ryuzaki…" I mumbled. "…I'll try to figure something out. If I don't…just know I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry…" I looked up at the ceiling. "Even if I did figure something out and you would live, if you didn't love me back…I'm terrified of what I might do."

I gently kissed his cheek before laying back down in bed, curling up into a ball. I began to cry as quietly as possible. I hated this. Why couldn't L just have been a Kira supporter? That would've made my life a hell of a lot easier! If I could, I would drop being Kira and spend the rest of my life with Ryuzaki. But that wasn't an option. The world needed me. I was keeping the world safe. But I knew that without Ryuzaki, being Kira would be all I had left. And I didn't want that. I wanted Ryuzaki. I NEEDED Ryuzaki.

But the world needed _me_. And the world was a little bit bigger than Ryuzaki.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDND

The following day, I was playing Wario World on my DS. I finally recalled the password to get in. The password was 'Ryuk' because we played it all the time together. That's why I couldn't remember the password when I had forgotten about the Death Note. Now I was totally kick-ass on my favorite video game.

"It says the person whose name is written in this notebook shall die," Aizawa said, looking through the Death Note. "This note will not take effect unless the person using the Death Note is thinking of the face of the person they want to kill."

He began reading off other instructions while I totally beat Super Wario's challenges. Suddenly, the game credits rolled. I sighed. It seemed as if everything around here was coming to an end. I grabbed 'Super Princess Peach' from my pocket before remembering I had beat that game. Instead, I grabbed 'Paper Mario' before recalling that game sucked. Now I was putting in 'Zelda: the Minish Cap' until I remembered I had let Ryuzaki play that game one night when the power went out. He beat it in eleven minutes and forty nine seconds. Instead of putting it in the DS, I put the tiny game card in my shirt pocket. I wanted it close to my heart. I know it sounds cheesy, but this was the only piece of Ryuzaki I wasn't afraid to get close to anymore. Now that I was Kira again, I didn't want to connect with him too much. There was a good chance he would end up dying and I didn't want to feel horrible when he did.

I glanced over at Ryuzaki, who was stacking the tiny cups that coffee creamer came in. "Hey," I said. "You wanna go do something together? This is getting boring. I ordered the latest Zelda video game. Wanna go see who can beat it faster?"

…

What? I meant connecting _romantically_. Idiots…

He looked at me. "…Nozomi-chan, this is serious."

"I know."

"Then why are you suggesting we go play video games?"

"Cause we're friends. Friends do pointless crap like that."

"…"

"Maybe later."

I smiled.

"Hey, listen to this," Aizawa said. "It says if anyone makes the note unusable by burning it or tearing it apart, whoever have touched the notebook up to that point will die."

Yeah. One of my fake rules I had Ryuk write.

"What!?" Matsuda gasped. "Is that really true, Aizawa?"

"Yeah."

"Well, crap! Why didn't you tell me that before I touched the notebook!? This sucks!"

"How was I supposed to know? I didn't exactly go through it before giving it to you, idiot!"

"Hey!" I hissed at Aizawa. "You might've saved the day by getting the police to corner Higuchi, but I'll still kick your ass if you make fun of Matsu."

Aizawa just glared at me before turning back to the notebook. "And listen to this last rule. It says if the user of the Death Note fails to write a name after a period of thirteen days…he or she will die."

Another one of my awesomely planned out fake rules.

"Wait, so that means Nozomi-chan and Miso-Miso are cleared!" Matsuda said.

"That's right. Both Nozomi and Miso were tied up for nearly fifty days. If they had written a single name in the Death Note, they would have died long ago."

"Isn't that great!?"

"Yes, very," dad said with a nod.

"Rem, was it?" Ryuzaki finally said. "You, the white thing."

"Uh, Ryuzaki, isn't it a bit rude to call someone a white thing?"

"What do you want?" Rem demanded.

"There's more than one notebook in the human world, isn't there?" he asked.

"Who knows?" Rem said. "There may be and there may not be."

"If there are more notebooks, here and in your world, would they all have the same rules?"

"Yes. There are many notebooks, but they all have the same rules," Rem said.

"Ryuzaki," Aizawa said. "Nozomi and Miso have been cleared of suspicion. Shouldn't they be let off of surveillance? No matter how much I hate her…" I stuck my tongue out at Aizawa.

"That's right! It's crystal clear!" Matsu joined in.

"Thanks, Matsu!" I said with a wink.

"What? But I was the first to point it out!"

"Shut up, Aizawa…"

"I suppose you're right," Ryuzaki said, putting the second to last container of coffee creamer onto his tower. He was about to put on the last one, but hesitated. "I understand. Please accept my apology for all the trouble."

"Don't…don't worry about it," I said quietly. "Don't think I'm a pervert for saying this, but I've actually liked the time we've been handcuffed together. It's been…interesting. Especially all the times I got to see your butt."

"…_Why?"_

I shrugged. "I dunno. 'Cause you've got a cute tushie."

This made Aizawa snigger and Matsuda try to contain laughter as well.

"But," I continued, "the case still isn't solved. Would it be alright if I continued investigating with you, without the handcuffs?" Wait! What the hell was I saying!?

"…Yes," Ryuzaki said.

For some reason I felt like crying.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

"And promise to text me every day, alright? Oh, NOZOMI-CHAN!" Miso cried, embracing me in a tight hug.

"Crushing…my…organs…" I gasped.

"Oh, after all this time, we're saying goodbye to Miso-Miso!" Matsuda cried, burying his face in the crook of his elbow.

"Knock it off, Matsuda!" Aizawa said, beginning to drag Matsu away. "Leave them alone."

"No! Goodbye, Miso-Miso!"

"Bye, Matsuda!" Miso called with a wave. "You were a super awesome manager! And Nozomi loves you a lot, so I love you too, but not in a gay way! Bye!"

"Goodbye!"

"Enough!"

I looked up at the cameras. They were watching, but there was no way they could see my face or hear my voice. "Miso," I whispered. "I'm going to tell you about a special place. I need you to go dig something up there…"

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

I couldn't sleep again that night. I had my own room now. It was nice with a big and comfortable bed and all my own stuff and everything.

Everything except Ryuzaki.

This was the first night in nearly four months I had slept without him handcuffed to me. The first time I had slept alone. I knew I would want to kill myself when it was over, but I had to do it.

I silently crawled out of bed and straitened my nightgown. I crept down the hallway as silently as I could. On my way to my destination, I peeked into Matsu's room. He was so cute, sprawled out on the bed, his suit and tie still on, breathing gently. I now realized how Minami had fallen for him. I tip-toed into the room and covered him with a blanket. As I did, I tried hard to convince myself that I was in love with Matsuda. I acted like it, after all.

But I couldn't.

I was only trying to get Ryuzaki out of my head.

After leaving Matsuda's room, I quietly went down to the monitor room. Just as I expected, Ryuzaki had fallen asleep in his chair, still at one of the computers. He always worked so hard. I admired him for that. I got my own chair and pushed it next to his. I sat down and watched him sleep for a moment. I then cuddled up to him, knowing good and well what a huge mistake I was making.

"N…Nozomi?" he mumbled sleepily. "What're you…"

"I missed you," I said, feeling my eyes get wet. "I…I miss sleeping next to you every night."

He hesitated a moment before pulling me closer. "It's alright, Nozomi-chan…"

"I…I love you, Ryuzaki…" I murmered.

OMG shocker! No, not really! That didn't happen! XD But, seriously. Here's what did happen:

He hesitated a moment before pulling me closer. "It's alright, Nozomi-chan…"

"When this case is over…are you going to leave?" I mumbled, the tears streaming down my cheeks. "I…I don't want you to leave. I want you to stay here. I want you to be with me."

"…"

"Is Nozomi-chan lying?"

"No, Ryuzaki-kun. I…I never want to see you leave…" I hugged his arm. "I…I'm lonely without you."

"You have Miso."

"I don't love Miso," I said. "Not romantically, anyway. I doubt I'm going to love him any time soon. If this isn't too awkward, I…I would rather be in a relationship with…you. If I had to choose."

"Nozomi-chan is…" Ryuzaki glanced at me. "…You're tired, Nozomi-chan, as am I. Go to sleep. You haven't been getting much lately."

"How do you know?"

"I just do."

After hesitating a moment, I got the hint and left. I felt like sobbing. I didn't want to go back to my lonely room. So I stopped at Matsuda's room instead.

"Matsu…" I mumbled.

"Hmm?" he said tiredly. "Nozomi-chan?"

"I'm sorry, but…I wanna hug someone."

"…"

"Come here, Nozomi-chan…"

So I crawled in bed with Matsu.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

_Dear Diary,_

_Mood: Apathedic. My life is really suckish right now. I just recently realized I'm in love with Ryuzaki, but right after that I regained my memories of being Kira. My timing sucks, huh? I really love Ryuzaki, but I also have to save the world from evil and stuff. Why can't there be a 'How To Choose Between Your Love and Saving the World For Dummies?' I would so buy that. But, up at this point, I don't really know what to do. I only wish there would be an angel or something to guide my way. I guess I'll have to settle for Ryuk._

Suddenly, the bell rang and I saw Miso on the monitor in front of the building. "I'll get it," I sighed, closing my diary and shoving it into my hoodie. I went out into the hallway to open the doors for Miso. Once he came in, he touched me with a piece of paper and I suddenly saw an extra shadow. "Ryuk…" I mumbled, grinning up at my shinigami. "I've missed you. I can't talk right now, but later, okay?"

My old friend shrugged. "It's good to see you, Nozomi. Got any more video games?"

"The latest Zelda game," I said quietly.

"Sweet!"

Same old Ryuk.

"Nozomi, I'm so sorry!" Miso said. "I forgot Hideki Ryuga's real name, but I did the eye deal with Ryuk."

"What? Miso, but now-"

"I know," he said. "But I just want to be of use to you, Nozomi-chan."

"Miso…" I hugged him tightly. I was about to say I loved him, but I knew I didn't mean it. I didn't want to get his hopes up.

So I just continued to hug him.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

The following day, I decided to leave the investigation building to go hang out with my friends. We were going to the super awesome coffee shop that I loved so much in celebration. Well, they told me it was to celebrate, but I didn't know what.

"To Nozomi!" Minami said, holding up her cup of coffee. "For being able to stand being handcuffed to that freak and not go insane!"

"To Nozomi!" Saku-chan and Keiko said, raising their cups too.

"Shut up…" I mumbled, picking at my cake. "He's not a freak…"

My friends blinked at me.

"Is something the matter, Nozomi?"

"You're picking at your cake. You're usually done by now."

"Something's totally bugging you."

"Nothings' bugging me," I said, getting up from the table. I left the coffee shop, my friends following close behind.

"Hey, what's with you today?" Keiko asked. "You're even more depressed then usual."

"I don't know," I sighed. "I guess I just…" I stopped walking and glanced into the bakery we were passing. There were Halloween cookies and cakes all over.

"Hey! You're thinking about sweets again! She's back to normal!"

"Oh crap…" I mumbled. "It's Halloween! I almost forgot! It's Ryuzaki-kun's birthday, too!"

"What?"

"You care?"

"Oh, crap, I totally forgot!" I gasped. A couple weeks ago, I had pestered Ryuzaki into telling me his birthday. He was a bit skeptical, wondering why I cared at all, and didn't answer me at first. So I glomped him, squeezed him, and even knawed on his arm until he told me.

I quickly rushed into the bakery. "I so have to find a cake…"

"Woah, wait a minute!" Minami said. "You're gonna buy him a cake? Damn, you really do love him!"

"I know I do."

She and my friends gasped. "You…you really love him?"

"More than you could ever imagine," I said, continuing to look for the perfect cake. "Here!" I pointed at a large, round cake with white frosting drizzeled in chocolate sauce with beautiful flowers on top made of nothing but pure sugar. I knew he would totally love it. While my friends started squealing about how I had finally fallen in love, I purchased the cake and left, not caring if they followed me or not.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

_A/N: Aww! Nozomi bought L a birthday cake! :3 How sweet! It's, obviously, to show her love to him before he has to (maybe) die. But what if L's feelings are not returned? How will Nozomi take it? Find out next time in the FINAL CHAPTER OF NOZOMI YAGAMI'S WONDERFUL LIFE OF DOOM!!!_


	18. To Love or Not to Love

_A/N: Well, here it is…Chapter 18: The final chapter of Nozomi Yagami's Wonderful Life of Doom. I thought I would make it last until the very end of Death Note, but I just couldn't imagine Nozomi actually staying sane (as sane as she is, anyway) if L were to die. So, one of three things can happen…_

_L dies and Nozomi snaps._

_L lives and Nozomi and he live happily ever after without Kira._

_L lives but he doesn't love Nozomi so she snaps._

_Either way, it'll end up pretty freaking interesting. But, as I said before, this is the final chapter…So sad. D: But, enjoy, and I hope you all enjoy the final installment of NYWLOD before the Epilogue and the final Authors' Note. _

_PS: In this chapter, you will see L and Watari's real names. If you are a true Death Note fan, you'd know that they are spelled wrong when I spell them. I know that they are misspelled, but it's all apart of the plot (you'll understand in the Epilogue). _

Nozomi Yagami's Wonderful Life of Doom

Chapter 18

To Love or Not to Love

"Oi! Ryuzaki-kuuun!" I called, entering the building after ditching my friends at the bakery.

He turned away from Rem to look at me. "Yes, what is it, Nozomi?"

I smiled and held out the cake. "Happy birthday!"

His eyes grew wider than usual. "Nozomi-chan got…" he looked at me, then at the cake, then at me again. "You really…thank you, Nozomi-chan."

I suddenly caught Rem glaring at me. Did that bitch still hate me?

I turned back to Ryuzaki and smiled. "No problem. Did you really expect me to pester you to tell me when your birthday was and then not get you anything? I would have got you something big and flashy, but I lent most of my money to Keiko so-"

He was kissing me.

_Damn! I should get him a cake more often!_

After hesitating a moment, I tenderly kissed him back. "Ryuzaki-kun…" I mumbled.

He looked at me with shocked eyes. "I-I'm sorry. My apologizes. I don't know how that happened, I…" he backed away from me as if I had the plaige or something. "It _didn't_ happen." And he left.

I stared after Ryuzaki for a long moment, not knowing what really just happened. My train of thought was broken by Rem's death glare. "What?"

"Miso gave up half of his lifespan twice for you," Rem said. "And now you kiss another boy. I won't have it. If you don't only love Miso, I will kill you, Yagami Nozomi. And believe me, it will be in the most painful way possible."

I gulped, slowly backing away from Rem. I was alone. No one was here if this shinigami went psycho on me. "Okay. I won't kiss him again. As of now…Ryuzaki means nothing to me. Miso is my only vice."

"Good."

I rushed up the stairs to my room, the angry and hurt tears streaming down my face.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

"Nozomi! Come downstairs, quickly! We believe there is another Kira!"

"I don't caaaare!" I whined to my father. I had spent the last three days in my room, curled up in a ball and suffering the angst. I had been depressed since Ryuzaki ran off after kissing me. Up until then, I had started all the kisses we had shared. Did he ignore me after that because he still didn't think I wasn't Kira? Did he not want to start liking someone who was a killer? No, that was impossible. He obviously believed all the rules in the Death Note were real, so he would have no reason to believe I was Kira. Or did he run off…

Simply because he didn't like me the way I liked him?

"Nozomi, this is important! Hurry up!"

"Noooooo!" I cried. "I don't care!" and I really didn't. I had told Miso to do whatever the hell he wanted, so I knew it was probably him killing all the criminals now. But that was no matter to me. I didn't want to be a part of this case anymore. I wanted to be with Ryuzaki a lot, but if he didn't love me….

If he had ever said the words 'I don't love you', I would have Rem or Ryuk kill him with the Death Note in the most painful way imaginable, whether I wanted to or not. I didn't have enough self-control to make the decision on my own.

"Please, Nozomi! Criminals are dying again! We need your help!"

"LET THE _GREAT _L TAKE CARE OF IT!" I screamed sarcastically, burying my face in my pillow. My father didn't bother me after that, and I didn't resurface.

Until a few days later, that is.

I was walking through the hallways of the building, not really knowing what to do with myself. In the past five days, I hadn't gotten out of bed except to go to the bathroom and get food. But now my legs hurt and I needed to walk around to relieve the pain. It was raining outside, much to my dismay. I hated rain. It was when thunder came out…

I passed the door that led to the roof and caught something in the corner of my eye. I turned to look outside and saw Ryuzaki standing there, staring up at the sky. Without thinking, I rushed out and called out to him. "Ryuzaki! What're you doing out here?"

He glanced at me and put a hand to his ear.

"I said, what're you doing out here!?"

He did the same gesture, smiling this time.

I made a growling sound in the back of my throat. Looking up at the rainy sky, I sighed and rushed over to Ryuzaki. "Hey, why're you out here? You'll catch a cold, idiot! What're you doing?"

"Oh, I'm not doing anything in particular, it's just…" he looked up at the sky. "The bells are unusually loud today."

"The bells?" I asked, listening for the sound. "I don't hear anything."

"Really? You can't hear it? I find them to be rather distracting. I wonder what it's for? A church, maybe a wedding…"

"What're you getting at, Ryuzaki?" I asked. I saw lighting in the distance. I shuddered. "Come on! Let's get back inside! We're getting drenched."

"I'm sorry," he said soberly, looking away from me. "Nothing I say makes sense anyway. If I were you, I wouldn't believe any of it."

I cocked my head to the side. "You're kidding, right? Ryuzaki, you're amazingly smart! My life would be a living hell if I _didn't _listen to everything you said! Things get a little hectic when I do listen to you, but I like it that way."

He glanced at me. "…Let's go inside. We're both soaked."

"Okay."

Inside, we proceeded to dry off. I gave him one of my towels with Nagato on it so he could dry off while I dried myself with Kyon.

"Well, that was certainly an unpleasant outing."

I shrugged. "I'm just glad I saw you out there. If you were out there for very much longer, you would've caught a horrible cold. Then I would worry more than I do now and my head would explode. You don't want my head to explode, do you?"

"Um…no?"

I glanced up at Ryuzaki and blushed. Wow. I thought he was sexy in the rain but with that towel on his head, he looked so fricking kawaii I couldn't stand it!

Trying not to think about unbuttoning his pants again, I continued to dry off when I suddenly felt someone grab my foot. "Hey, what the hell, man!? What're you doing?"

"I thought I might help you out," he said. "You were busy wiping yourself off."

"Look, it's okay! Don't worry about it!"

"I could also give you a massage if you want. It's the least I can do to atone for my sins."

I rolled my eyes. "Do what you want." Personally, I thought this whole thing seemed a little bit fetishy, but I digress.

"Alright." Using the towel, Ryuzaki pressed hard on my heel. I grunted in pain. "You'll get used to it."

I suddenly saw a bit of water drip onto my leg. I glanced up and saw that Ryuzaki's hair was still wet. I grabbed my towel and gently dried it. "Here. You're still soaked."

He looked up at me. "I'm sorry."

I felt my lip quiver. "Dude, don't! You're gonna make me cry! You look all serious, what's wrong?"

He answered with a rather loud and echoey sneeze.

"Oh, bless you," I said, continuing to dry his hair, trying hard not to blush. Just one more thing about Ryuzaki that totally turned me on. "Don't worry about me. You'll get sick if you don't dry off."

"Nozomi-chan…"

"Yeah?"

"It'll be lonely, won't it?"

"Lonely?" I said. "What're you talking about? Do you have a fever or something?"

"You and I will be parting ways soon," he said.

"…I don't want to part ways," I mumbled. "I want to stay with you. Forever. You…you mean a lot more to me than you think."

"What?"

"…I'm saying a like you a lot, okay? I think you're really smart and really awesome and, dare I say it, really _hot_. I didn't think I could like you in this way, but I do." I continued. "All those times we kissed before, they meant so much to me. Why do you think I ignored you after you kissed me and ran away? I thought you didn't like me. If you didn't like me the way I like you…I don't know what I'd do."

He blinked at me. "Nozomi-cha-"

"Oh, do you ever shut up!?" I gasped before leaning in and kissing him. Like all the others, I liked it. I liked the way his lips felt pressed to mine. For the time being, I wasn't Kira. I was just Nozomi, the girl who was madly in love with L.

Suddenly, his phone beeped. Ryuzaki broke away from me and answered. "Yes? …Okay." He turned to me. "Let's go."

"Wait a minute…."

He glanced at me again. "What is it?"

"…Just tell me," I said in a strangled voice. "Do you like me?"

"…"

"It's just yes or no, Ryuzaki."

"…I do. I don't want to admit it, but I like Nozomi-chan very much. But now is not the time to discuss such things." And he left. After hesitating a moment, I got up and followed him down to the monitor room.

"Wait a minute! Ryuzaki!" I called, but he didn't turn to look at me. He just continued to walk down the hallway to the monitor room. "Wait! Dammit, how could you not get this!? I….I love you!"

Normally, this would be one of those moments where I say 'just kidding! Here's what really happened…' But not this time. Because that, dear readers, did actually happen.

Ryuzaki froze before slowly looking at me, his eyes wider than usual. "Nozomi-chan…" After hesitating, he turned back around. "I'm sorry. I can't believe that."

"Wh-what!?" I gasped. "Why!?"

"I'm still suspicious of you having to do with Kira. Until I am one hundred percent certain you are in no way associated with Kira, I just can't trust you when you say you love me."

I gulped, tears streaming down my face. "How can you even say that? After all this crap we've been through together….I can't help but love you! I love you more than anyone can ever understand! Ryuzaki, for a moment, I want you to pretend you've never suspected me of being Kira. For the moment, Kira doesn't even exist, okay?"

"…Okay. For the moment, Nozomi-chan is not Kira, has never been Kira, and never will be Kira."

"Good." I gulped. "Okay, how do I say this? …Um…I love you. I love everything about you down to the very last detail. I love your crazy sugar addiction, I love the weird way you sit, I even love how you always rant at me about Kira. I love the way you look, the way you talk with such big words, and how you can always make me smile when I'm pissed, even when you don't try to. I love how adorable your face looks when you're sleeping, I love how you can actually tolorate my overly annoying friends, I love how you're so OCD, and…" I finally looked up at him, "And I love the way you kiss me. I love how you're just…different. You're not like other guys. You don't stare at my chest all the time, you look at my face when you talk to me and everytime I see you…my heart starts beating super hard. And you're the first person who has ever told me that I'm beautiful. No one else has ever told me that. And the thing I like most about you is that…you mean it."

Ryuzaki stared at me for a moment, a thumb held to his bottom lip.

"Oh, yeah, and I love your quirks. Those are cute."

"…" He turned away from me again. "…I believe Nozomi-chan."

I smiled through the tears. "You…you do?"

"I do….but now is not the time for such things." And he went into the investigation room. I stayed there, staring after him.

"Ryuzaki…" I whispered. I sank to my knees, beginning to cry. I didn't want to admit it, but I knew deep down that I only professed my love to him was because I was hoping that he would love me back. If he loved me back, I would give up on Kira. I wouldn't even think about Kira anymore. I would have Ryuk wipe mine and Miso's memory. I would burn our Death Notes and give Miso the boot. I would live my life with Ryuzaki, loving him everyday.

But he didn't love me. And that was a problem.

Suddenly, all the lights went out. In a panic, I rushed into the investigation room where there were red 'DATA DELETION' signs on the computers.

"Data deletion?"

"What the hell's going on?" I demanded, rushing forward.

"I told Watari," L said in a serious voice, "that if anything were to happen to him, he would delete all the information."

"Happened to him?"

"Could it be…?"

I felt my heart drop to my knees. I don't know how I knew, but I could feel it in the pit of my stomach that something was going to happen. Something bad.

"Where is the shinigami?" Ryuzaki demanded.

"Good question," dad said.

"I don't see it."

"No…" I mumbled to myself. Rem. She said she would do anything to save Miso because she loved him. If she meant ANYTHING, then she could…

"NO!" I gasped, rushing up the stairs. "REM! REM, WHERE THE HELL ARE YOU!?" I desprately looked in every room. "REM, DON'T DO THIS! I'LL PROTECT MISO WITH MY LIFE, I SWEAR!" I kicked open a door and gasped. There Rem was, slowly turning to dust, a Death Note and a pen in her hand. "NO, REM!" I rushed over to the dying shinigami, but she was already gone. My eyes flashed to the Death Note. "No, no, please no…" I whispered, opening the notebook with shaky hands. I turned to the last page she had written on and gasped.

QUILLISH WAMY

L LAWLIT

I screamed at the top of my lungs. No. This wasn't happening. It couldn't be happening. As fast as humanly possible, I shoved the Death Note in my hoodie pocket and I raced downstairs, tripping a few times. After falling down a flight of stair, I saw I was bleeding, but I didn't care. I raced on no matter how much it hurt. Once I reached the investigation room, my blood ran cold.

He was on the ground, lifeless and unmoving.

"Ryuzaki, what's wrong?" Matsuda gasped.

I raced over to Ryuzaki, shoving my dad and Matsu out of the way. "No, no, no…" I cradled L in my arms. "No, no, don't do this to me! No, please!" I sobbed, gently slapping his lifeless cheek. "No, come on, stay with me, please stay with me…JUST STAY WITH ME, GOD DAMMIT!" I screamed. "Ryuzaki, please, don't leave me. I'll die without you, I love you so much! Just d-don't…" I started crying heavily, my tears plopping onto his forehead. "No…" I kissed him. "Come on, Ryuzaki!" Another kiss. "We're supposed to be together, okay?" A third kiss. "I know it! I know we love each other, I can feel it!" One more kiss. "I'll love you, always and forever!" Kiss. "All I want is for you to love me…" Just one more. "Always and forever, dear…always…"

"Nozomi-chan…"

My heart exploded. His eyes were cracked open, wincing in pain. "Nozomi-chan, what happened?"

"Ryu…RYUZAKI!" I screamed in joy, hugging him as tight as humanly possible. "You're alive! Oh my god, you're alive!" I started to sob again.

"Nozomi…" he mumbled, wiping away the tears from my cheek. "…I love you as well, Nozomi-chan…"

I was crying so hard now, I couldn't even talk.

"Wait, he's alive!" Aizawa gasped.

"Call an ambulance!" my father commanded.

"Oh wow, this is insane!" Matsuda cried.

I smiled through the happy tears. I gently kissed his forehead. "Ryuzaki-kun…" I manged to mumble. "Can we be happy together now? Always and forever?"

"Always and forever, Nozomi-chan."

And we kissed. And somehow, we were the only people in the world.

**THE END**

Lol! Nah, this isn't the end. What kind of fanfic would it be without an awesome epilogue and authors' note? But you'll have to wait next time for that!

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

_A/N: That, dear friends, would be the end._

_But not to worry! Nozomi still has an epilogue to share! And, believe me, the results will be shocking. Just because L is alive doesn't mean Nozomi will give up Kira…right?_

"_**Hey! Don't be giving them spoilers!"**_

_Right. Sorry, Nozomi…_

"_**Now, my adoring fans, you'll just have to wait to see what happens to me! But it's pretty freaking obvious, really, I mean, Ryuzaki-kun and I are adorable together…"**_

_Now YOU'RE giving them spoilers, dumbass!_

"_**Oh, right! Sorry! But until then, this is Nozomi saying 'Until next time!'"  
**__Hey! That's my line!_


	19. Epilogue: Nozomi's No Longer Sucky Life

_A/N: EPILOGUE!!!!_

_I'm happy, but I can't help but feel sad. X( Nozomi's story is almost over. Once you reach the bottom of this page, it's OVER!!! *goes to a corner and bawls* _

…_Anyway, please enjoy this, as it is the last piece of Nozomi's story._

_And, to Michi nin, I know I spelled L's name wrong. ;) You'll see why I did in this epilogue. _

PS: kind of short. =_=

Nozomi Yagami's Wonderful Life of Doom

Epilogue: Nozomi's No Longer Sucky Life

After that day, I ordered Miso to make a video that said Kira was giving up. He was a little confused, but did as I said. He sent it to the task force headquarters, but they weren't convinced. So he made a criminal arrive at the building, claiming to be Kira and giving information on the Death Note so they would believe him. So he wouldn't be pulled in for questioning, Miso had him die mere minutes after arriving at the headquarters. We waited around for at least a three weeks, but no Kira returned, just as I planned. Everyone decided it was best to just drop the case for the time being, until Kira returned, if at all. Everyone was pretty damn happy.

Things were going great for me and my friends to. When I invited them to hang out with me at the headquarters, they giggled and squealed about how I got a boyfriend. I didn't like to think of Ryuzaki as my boyfriend. I merely called him 'my love.' It seemed as though everyone was happy. After seeing how joyful I was with Ryuzaki, Keiko decided to give men a chance after all. She decided to go on a date with all her fanboys (trying her hardest to be nice) and discovered that all of them weren't annoying bastards like she had thought. But she didn't find anything love-worthy in them. Shortly after that, me, my friends, and the task force went to the premiere of Miso's movie. Ironically, Hideki Ryuga was Miso's costar. Keiko hooked up with the pop idol that very night. After revealing that she was now dating…

She smiled.

Keiko hadn't smiled since we were twelve!

In other news, Minami and Matsuda's relationship was getting serious. A few days before Ryuzaki and I professed our love to each other, she confessed her love to Matsu. He admitted that he loved her as well. A couple months later, a beautiful diamond suddenly appeared on Minami's finger. She was sobbing her eyes out when she showed it to us.

"Matsu, YOU HEARTHROB!" I had said to him with a happy slap on the back.

After that, Saku-chan had formed a relationship as well…

With Yuko!

…

What? You don't remember Yuko? He was one of Keiko's fanboys! Remember when he took me on a date to Space Land when I was trying to find out more on Raye Penber? (God rest his soul). Well, Yuko figured that since Keiko had Hideki now, he would never get the chance to date her. So he went out with Saku-chan to try and make Keiko jelous, but ended up falling for her.

One day after Ryuzaki and I became (ahem) 'close', , I was talking to Ryuk on the roof. I asked him why Ryuzaki and Watari didn't die, seeing as Rem wrote their names in the notebook. Ryuk revealed that Rem was so anxious, she spelled their names wrong in the Death Note. I asked why Rem died anyway. He said that even though L and Watari hadn't died, she was still trying to lengthen Miso's life. I then asked him why Ryuzaki fainted then.

"Well, I might have done a little something," Ryuk admitted. "You know, to add romantic effect for you."

Maybe a shinigami could have a heart after all.

And Miso…oh, Miso…

"So, what did you want to talk to me about, Nozomi-chan?" he had asked about two days after.

"Well, Miso…" I had said, trying to contain tears. "I…I don't know how to say this, but…I'm giving up Kira."

His eyes grew wide as he gaped at me. "N-Nozomi…but why?"

"Well, you see, I….I…" I looked up at him. "Miso, I'm in love with L."

It only took half a second for his eyes to swell up with tears, along with mine.

"No…No…" Miso sobbed. "I…I don't…"

"Oh, Miso!" I cried, wrapping my arms around with him and weeped with him. "I'm sorry! I'm so, so sorry! All you ever did was love me and now…Dammit, you lost half your lifespan TWICE for me! I'm such a bitch, I'll never forgive myself…"

"No, Nozomi-chan…" Miso tilted my head back and gently kissed my lips. But it wasn't a romantic kiss, more like an old-love kiss. Then he hugged me and kissed my neck lovingly. "Don't hate yourself. It's…It's alright. As long as you're happy, I'm happy. I know I gave up about sixty years of my life, but…" He smiled sadly. "It made you happy. And, to me, seeing you happy is worth my whole life."

I sobbed and squeezed him. "I-I'll always love you, Miso! Not romantically, but…" I smiled soberly at him. "You were my first kiss; my first boyfriend. I'll love you for that forever." I stood on my tip-toes to kiss his forehead. Then, I pulled my handkerchief from my pocket and dried his tears and wiped his nose just as a mother would. "I love you."

"Nozomi-chan…" he whispered, hugging me one more time. "If things don't work with L…you know I'll always be there for you. I'll always be here."

"Oh, Miso…"

He reached his hand over to the radio and turned it up. "You know…I never got that 'uber romantic date' you promised me."

I smiled and gently touched his cheek. "Miso…" I put my hands around his shoulders as he danced with me.

"_Now I've heard there was a secret chord _

_That David played, and it pleased the Lord  
But you don't really care for music, do you?  
It goes like this  
The fourth, the fifth  
The minor fall, the major lift  
The baffled king composing Hallelujah."_

"Hallelujah…Hallelujah…Hallelujah…Hallelujah…" Miso sang/whispered in my ear along with the American vocalist on the radio. "You're faith was strong, but you need proof…"

I started to cry once more. I wish I loved Miso. I really do. But he deserved someone better than me. Much better.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDND

After that, Miso moved to Shinagawa to do whatever he could with his life. Before he left, he gave me one of those tiny hearts that you put in the dolls at Build-A-Bear Workshop. I asked what it was for and he said "it's my heart. It's yours. It'll always be yours'." Which, of course, made me cry again. It felt good to have both Miso and Ryuzaki comfort me; knowing they both loved me.

Ah, yes. Ryuzaki and me. For the next two months after admitting our love, we were happily living in the investigation building. He didn't have much to do now since Kira killed most of the worlds criminals. There were no cases left to solve. But he hadn't given up on Kira. He didn't believe that it was really over. Everyday, he checked every newspaper in Japan over the internet to see if even a single criminal had been killed. None had. As I had dreamed, he and I were happy. We loved each other and only needed each other. All was well.

Except for one tiny little detail.

He didn't know I had been Kira. Ryuzaki still believed I was completely innocent, never having done more than kill a bug. I tried not to, but I felt guilty. I couldn't go on knowing that I was lying to him. So, one day, two months after our whole 'I love you' incident, two days before Christmas, I gathered up all my courage and slowly approached him while he was eating his beloved cake

"Ryuzaki-kun…" I mumbled.

He glanced up at me and swallowed. "What is it, Nozomi-chan?"

"I…oh, god, how do I do this? …I…I have to tell you something."

His eyes grew wide. "You're pregnant?"

I gasped. "What? N-No! I couldn't be! You wore protection! Wait, you did, didn't you? 'Cause if you didn't-"

"I was kidding, Nozomi-chan."

"…"

"Oh." I took a deep breath and sat down next to him, pulling my legs to my chest like Ryuzaki did. I had recently made a habbit of that. "Look, I…oh god, this is so hard…Remember when you suspected me of being Kira?"

"Are you still mad about that?"

"Uh, no, I…You were right. I'm Kira. Well, was Kira, but…"

He stared at me for a moment. Then, he quietly laughed. "Nozomi-chan can be rather funny when she wants to be."

"Uh, no, you don't get it," I said. "I'm serious."

"You're great at this, Nozomi-chan."

"L, I mean it!"

His smile faded. "Nozomi-chan, this isn't funny anymore."

"I…I know." I mumbled. "I can't lie to you anymore. I was Kira."

"Nozomi-chan, please stop."

"No, it's…" I gulped. "I don't want to admit it, but I was Kira. I am one hundred percent telling you the truth."

"No. No you're lying," he said, almost in a scared tone. "Nozomi-chan can't be Kira….the person I love can't be Kira…Nozomi-chan is…"

"Let me explain…" I proceeded to tell him about all that had happened when I first became Kira down to when I lost my memories. I told him I had fallen in love with him when I had no memories of the Death Note. Recently after that (like, two minutes later), I had regained my memories when I touched the Death Note after we arrested Higuchi. After that, I had fought myself whether to remain Kira or stay with Ryuzaki. I told him about what happened with Rem and why he and Watari hadn't died and I told him about Ryuk. I even let him touch a piece of the Death Note I hadn't touched in the past two months so he could see Ryuk. Ryuk merely waved at Ryuzaki and left the room. "…So…that's it."

Ryuzaki stared at me. He hadn't spoken a word since I started telling him about when I was Kira. He now was hesitating, not really knowing what to say. He then turned away from me and mumbled "I'll give you five days."

I raised an eyebrow. "Five days? For what?"

"For a head start," he mumbled. "You're Kira. And though I love you, it's my duty to bring Kira to justice. I…I don't want to see you die, Nozomi-chan. That's why I'll give you a head start to leave. But the entire world will be looking for you."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. "You…what? But I'm not Kira anymore!"

"You might not be killing, but you were still Kira, Nozomi-chan. I'm sorry."

I stared at him. This wasn't real. It couldn't be. "…Fine. But I just want you to know, I love you. And I'm always going to love you." I shoved my Death Note into his arms. "I guess I'll see you when you catch me. Come on, Ryuk." I turned away from Ryuzaki, crying silently. It might have been a trick of the light, but I could have sworn I saw tears in his eyes as well.

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

"So when're we gonna leave, Nozomi?"

I looked up at Ryuk, who was sitting on my balcony, munching on an apple. We were back in my old room in my house, a place I hadn't been to in months. It was the middle of the night and I had come back to retrieve the twenty million yen I had stashed under my bed. And, no. I didn't steal it. It was all mine.

It was December 26th. I had only one day left. Fortunately for me, the train to Sanmu was leaving in the morning. There, I would change my name to Mitsuna Takahito and change my skin to appear American or German or something. After that, maybe I would go live with Miso and he would change his name to Tatsu Harau or something. I had the perfect plan. Except…

How was I going to keep my sanity without Ryuzaki? I wanted to have the perfect Christmas with my love. But now…

"Where are we going?" the shinigami asked.

"Sanmu, Ryuk," I answered, trying to stop the flow of tears. "That's where Apple Corp. is."

"Sweet!"

I silently continued to pack my knapsack. My computer, Suzumiya Haruhi screenplay, Suzumiya Haruhi novels, my stuffed bear with the ear ripped off, my DS, the charger, clothes, toiletries, a blanket, a water bottle and a bag of chips. I was just about to pack up some more stuff when I saw a shadow that was neither mine nor Ryuk's. I turned around to see him standing in the doorway.

"…You said I had five days," I mumbled, turning back to my bag.

"I did." He came over and put his hand on my shoulder. I shoved him off. "Nozomi-chan, I won't have the police come after you."

I glared at Ryuzaki. "Why?"

"Because I have no reason to. You're not Kira anymore and that's all that matters. The point is that you know you were wrong. You gave me your way to kill. Nozomi, you won't be killing anymore. I would have no reason to apprehend you."

I silently glanced at Ryuzaki. I let out a tiny sob and embraced him.

"Shh, it's okay…" he whispered.

"I love you…" I sobbed. I wrapped my arms around his neck and tenderly kissed him. He gently caressed my cheek.

"I love you too, Nozomi-chan…"

And that was the first time I was positive he meant it.

_**The End**_

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

Well, there you have it. I went from bored school girl to phsycotic murderer to detective's lover. Not the most ordinary story ever, huh? XD. Remember at the beginning when I said I would tell you how I knew about Light? Yeah. I lied. I can't tell you. Sorry.

(FTW!)

But, anyway, things all seemed to fall into place after that. Ryuzaki and I are incredibly happy together. It was more than a few times that I suggested we get married, but he didn't exactly like that idea. He would, after all, have to wear a suit. And I realized he was right in disliking the idea. We loved each other, so what was the point in getting married? All that would change was that I had a ring and we could have sex without it being wrong.

And Ryuzaki and I have not had sex, so quit thinking about it.

…

Okay, once.

…

FINE, more than once.

Anyway.

After that night I told him I was Kira, everything was smooth sailing. A couple of months later, Minami got married to Matsuda. It was a good thing her pregnancy didn't show much, because that would have seriously looked trampy. Did I mention she was pregnant? Well, now I am. And she chose to tell Matsuda right after they got married. He practically fainted.

And now I'm the godmother of Matsuda Hima. She's beautiful like her mother with nervous eyes like her father. Matsuda's already an overprotective dad, not letting Keiko's baby boy get too close to her. He said "they're perverts even at a young age!" He makes one hell of a fuss whenever Hima gets so much as a scratch, but that just means Matsu's going to make an excellent father.

Speaking of Matsuda, he got his job as a police officer back after the Kira case ended, as did my father and Aizawa and Mogi. He's become less nervous and is trying his hardest to learn how to stand up for himself. I'm proud of him, but also a little sad. He does't need me anymore. He was like a little brother to me back when he was an awkward screw-up. And after becoming a father, he finally gained the respect of Aizawa and the other cops who made fun of him.

Minami's a stay at home mom for the time being, but she's trying to write a manga. It's called Neko Neko Love. But she hisses at anyone who asks to read it before she's done. Except Matsu. Matsu has privliges to all her work. And she still called him 'Matsuda' or 'Matsu' or even 'Matsu-chan' when she wants him to do something. It's kind of like Turk from Scrubs. Even his own wife calls him by his last name.

Oh yeah. Keiko got prego too. When she was six months pregnant, she decided that things weren't really working with her and Hideki. So after breaking up with him, she contacted some of her own fanboys to give them all second chances. Keiko is now with Chinsuko (not the greatest name for a guy…You'll get it if you speak Japanese. It's funny because 'chinko', which sounds a hell of a like like Chinsuko, means 'penis'. XD) Chinsuko's goth, just like Keiko. They only dress the baby (whose name is Hideki after his father, BTW) in black baby clothing. He's super adorable. Saku-chan's his godmother.

Ah, yes, Saku-chan. She broke up with Yuko after about two or three months. She didn't like him very much. Saku-chan's now a happy single who works at a Cosplay Café. She's an excellent Osaka from Azumanga Daioh. It fits her, too. She already had the accent and airheadedness down. She's studying to be a teacher, seeing as that's what Osaka wanted to be. Yeah. She takes her cosplay very seriously.

Sayu finally found a boyfriend. His name might sound familiar to some of you readers. It's 'Mihael Keehl', but he prefers Mello.

A few weeks after the whole 'Kira' ordeal, Ryuzaki finally took me to Wammy's House, the place he grew up. He introduced me to Mello and Near, the two boys where were fighting over the position of L's successor. There was also Matt, the successors' backup, which I didn't get at all. Personally, I favor Mello. Near's just too serious and doesn't like to have any fun. But I made great friends with the three boys. I feel like a mother to them. I think that when it comes down to it, Ryuzaki will pick Near to be his successor. But I think it would suit Mello best. He's bold and not afraid to speak his mind. I think that's how a good detective should be. Besides, he's just like L when it comes to sugar. He has a hard chocolate addiction. Near? Oh, Near goes mental when he has sugar. But, anyway, Mello is like a little brother to me. Which is why I got the idea to introduce him to Sayu. The two have a long distance relationship now. It's so cute.

Ryuk and I still hang out. He goes everywhere with me and Ryuzaki. For Christmas last year, I bought him a whole truck load of apples. He won't have any withdrawl symptoms for the next two years or so. Ryuk and Ryuzaki managed to become pretty damn good friends. And now, plus the apples, Ryuk has a new addiction: cake.

And then, one day, my stomach had a new resident that grew and grew until it just came out…

But that's a different story. ;)

So, in a way, the Death Note ended up being beneficial for everyone. Minami has Matsuda, Keiko has Chinsuko, Sayu has Mello, Ryuk's never bored anymore, and I have Ryuzaki and my little baby.

Maybe the world isn't so terrible after all.

_**And that, my friends, would be the 'happily ever after.**_'

DNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDNDN

_A/N: That, dear friends, would be the end._

_Yes, the real THE END. I hope you thought the ending was suitable. I hope you enjoyed my first story on this website. There will be more to come! Some of Death Note, some of Naruto, some of a lot of things. I hope you all will consider reading those if you liked this. _

_And I would like to thank all of you who sent in such great reviews…*tears up * I luvs u all! T_T_

_But, I'll go on about that in the final Authors' Note._

_PS: And yes. Nozomi got pregnant.  
_

_PSS: and the song that Miso and Nozomi danced to was "Hallelujah" by Rufus Wainwright. It's a good song and I highly recommend it. It made me cry the first time I heard it. But then again, it was to a Death Note video where Mello and L die and stuff. T_T but, yes. It's a beautiful song and I thought it fit Miso perfectly._


	20. Final Authors' Note: Part 1

Nozomi Yagami's Wonderful Life of Doom

Authors' Note Part 1

Well, I hope you all enjoyed my first fanfic here at FFN. I had a lot of fun writing about Nozomi. I just thought 'hey, why the hell is Death Note always about guys? The only girl main character is Misa and she's a fricking retard!' So, yeah. Sorry if L is a little OOC. I have a real problem with that. T_T. But, at any rate, thank you for your reviews!

Moving on.

Anyway, I think Nozomi's theme song would probably 'Nine in the Afternoon' by Panic! At the Disco. Don't ask me why, I just think the randomness of the song fits her very well. And I feel these songs would be a great theme song for the story itself:

Song Artist

The Promise ……………. When in Rome

There she Goes ……………… Sixpence None the Richer

Somewhere Over the Rainbow ……………… Israel Kamakakawiwo'ole

Swing Swing ………………. All American Rejects

Bang the Doldrums…………….Fall Out Boy

This is the Life ………………Amy Macdonald

Winter …………………….. Joshua Radin

I am Eternal Child ……………. Miyuki Kajitani

I recommend each song. But if you want to look up the last song on youtube, you won't find it by looking up the name. If you type in 'Shin Chan Movie: Action Kamen VS Demon Part 10 END' in the search bar, it'll be the first video you see. The end song is 'I am Eternal Child.'

So, all in all, thanks for the reviews and stuff! Look out for my next fanfic! It'll be called "The Happenings of Yuki.' It's a comedy/drama/angst/ romance. It's about Yuki Barren, a 36-year-old woman who goes by Jesika who tells her son about her entire life, from when she enters Wammy's House as 'Yuki,' how she falls in love with a certain cake-eating detective, a blond haired chocolate addict, and the backup to said cake eating detective all in the span of a decade! But what happens when two of her loves die, the other one has a disturbing secret, she finds out her strange eyes belong to a shinigami, a shinigami falls in love with her, her worst enemy forms a relationship with L, and much more? Yeah. It's like a fanfic/ soap opera. There are many twists and turns to the story, ones that will leave you shocked and surprised! You'll just have to read it! ;) WARNING: it's a little more serious than the fanfic you just read, but it has its' funny moments. And I can PROMISE you, by the time it's over, you will have cried at least ONCE. You know, if your heart isn't completely made of stone.

And I'll also be posting a story called 'Stuck in Anime: Story of an Otaku'. It's about fourteen year old Bella Cox, who is just your average otaku. One day, she is spiraled into a world of anime, where she has to protect and rescue all her anime friends from the horrible fates their creators had made. It's a comedy/romance/drama and it involves a lot of different anime series. So far I only know I'll involve Death Note, Fullmetal Alchemist, and Naruto. If anyone recommends any other dramatic anime, please inform me so I can look into to see if I can add it in. I know it sounds sucky, but please, please, pleeeeeeeeease read! X___X

And there's another. It's a Naruto fanfic where, during the Chunin Exam arc, Gaara finally finds someone who loves him…to bad she's a psychotic stalker who would literally _kill_ to have him. And it makes matters worse that he has a crush on her teammate…But what lengths will Ishire (his stalker girl) go to get his affection? It's a

comedy/romance, but mostly comedy. It'd really make me happy if you read it. T_T

And, naturally, there's more, but I don't really feel like listing them all. =_= Though you should anticipate a Naruto Christmas Special, and maybe other Christmas themed fanfics. And only because Volital asked, I might try doing a crack-version of Sweeney Todd. But, be warned, I'm not that good at doing stuff that's not anime, but I'll try my very best! I'm also afraid I might make a mochary of the awesome sexiness of Sweeney Todd…

But anyway.

I will soon post up an 'Authors' Note Part 2' where I will show the winners of the fanart contest. Or, not really winners, seeing as only two people wanted to do it…

Well, until then!


	21. Final Authors' Note: Part 2

Yes. Final Authors' note. Fan art contest time! ^______^

Buuuuuuuuuuuuuut, seeing as no one participated except ethernal-eternal, she is the winner! X3

Here's a link to her super amazing fan art!:

http ://ethereal eternal. deviantart. com/art /L- and -Nozomi- 103736630

Just take away the spaces to get there. It's really a fantastic drawing. ^_^ I really appreciate you posting, ethernal-eternal!


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